STEP 1

Where Are You?

In order to move forward, you must know where you are.

The foundation of this step is Clarity.

There was a dust storm in the desert, as wide and as high as I could see. It was more than a cloud of sand; it was a tan wall, slowly moving through Death Valley, and it was headed my way. I took cover in a cantina, one of the few buildings in a hundred-mile radius. From that little diner, I watched as high winds blew and sand darkened the sky. Visibility was reduced to fifty feet. The wind rattled the restaurant, and the electricity went off.

The dust storm lasted for several hours, making its way across the desert floor like a blizzard of sand. After it had passed, I set out to explore rock formations in the area. With the distant, dark tan storm as a backdrop, the colorful rocks glowed in the emerging sun. The contrast of light and dark made the colors more vivid and clear than they seemed just a few hours before.

The wind must have sandblasted my mind too, because I saw how easy life can be. My life started to shine like the brightly colored rocks. My darkness had blown away. I clearly saw how all the pieces of my life fit together. They were all visible to me for the first time. Step 1 was underway.

Step 1 is about clarity. It is about being truthful with yourself.

Look Closely

It takes a lot of courage to look very closely and see the truth about yourself, especially in the middle of a storm. The people I interviewed identified an unexpected, life-changing moment of clarity—an injury, a death, a change in career, a change in perception. They can recall the incident as if it has just happened. And nothing is the same. That moment forced them to look at who they were.

Explore your core values, thoughts, emotions, and reactions to others. See who you really are. Have you ever said to someone, "You don't know me very well"? Get to know yourself. You have more than one persona. The person you want to be, and the person who others think you are, may not be the real you.

For example, if asked to explore the color red, you might protest, saying, "We all know what red looks like." As you explore, you become aware of the subtleties of red—the orangey version, the dark shade with a hint of blue, the brass and the deep wine used as hair color, the basic crayon that matches Christmas ornaments and flags—and you would see that different shades of red fit in different settings. You would start to notice how red is used in décor, in sports cars, and in clothing. Whatever your opinion of the color, you would gain a deeper, fuller understanding of red.

So it is in the process of TransForMission. Look at the subtleties of who you are. Become aware of what you do and how you do it. You will see how your actions and reactions serve you in some situations and not in others.

Spend some time on it. Even if you know yourself very well, you will see your life in a new way because you are looking through the lens of TransForMission. You have the opportunity here to review your standard thoughts and comments. The things you have done over the years can be improved.

Start with your core values. What is important to you? Your core values shape the way you think and the way you live. They are the essence of who you are.

In the upcoming pages, Gina mentions broken relationships within her family, yet family is one of her core values. Is it one of yours? Why? Is it because you want to tell people how great your kid is, or is it because you can share with a child lessons that will be passed on through the generations? Do you want your family to be well known in the community, or do you appreciate the precious, private moments between loved ones? Do you have a traditional family, or do you create a family with others who share your values?

Several interviewees identified with their professional status. When careers shifted, they felt a loss. Look at your career. Is work a core value for you? This book was inspired, in part, by a person who told me, "You are not your job." I had identified so closely with my career that I had to explore its importance in my life. I discovered how much I love my job, and I also discovered how I could move forward if my job were no longer a part of my life.

If work is one of your core values, look at the reasons. You may use the income to acquire a lot of luxuries or to pay for your children's education. Or you may place a high value on your work because you consider it your mission and you are passionate about it.

What else is on your list of core values? You might include compassion, generosity, humor, integrity, creative expression, and respect. You might expand your list to include the creation of beauty in all your surroundings, or you may focus on making sure technical and mechanical gadgets are working well.

Look at what is important to you, and look at why it is important. Your core values may need a touchup from time to time, but for the most part, they will last you a lifetime.

Next, explore your attitude. How do you interact with others? Do people see you as friendly and compassionate, or do they find you bitter and angry? Do others welcome you into their conversations, or do they stop talking when you walk into the room? Do you cry a lot or crack jokes about everything that happens? Acknowledgment of your attitude will lead you toward a clearer understanding of who you are.

In quantum physics, there is a debate over whether an observer changes a situation just by observing it. By observing your emotions and by understanding yourself, you can move beyond where you are. Your TransForMission depends on it.

Discover yourself. Find clarity. This is a time to explore and get to know yourself in a new and deeper way. You do not have to make any changes right now. Your TransForMission will come as you make your way up the spiral staircase.

Here and Now

In Step 1, we become comfortable with ourselves where we are. It is a lesson in now, living in the moment. This is not a time for looking back or forward. You cannot change the past, and the future is not yet known, so start here.

When you are in the present, you have no one to blame, no regrets, and no fear of what might happen. It is as easy as saying your name. Who are you? Where are you? You are right here, right now.

Who are your heroes? Who are the people you admire? You might select a world leader or a person who has brought peace to the world or someone who accomplished great things with very few resources.

How did you learn about your hero?...