CHAPTER 1

LESSONS REPEATED

If I had but one wish to be fulfilled, it would be that I could behappy always. Why people are not makes no apparent sense tome! Sure, we all have expectations to live up to, but does it reallytake such courage to take one look at your life and upon realisingit is not living up to your own expectations, actually do somethingabout it?

I no longer live like "other people"! That does not mean that Iam a hermit or an outcast, simply that I choose to do whateverit is I want to – and basically that boils down to what makes mehappy. Before you put this down in disgust or condemn me asbeing selfish in my beliefs, let me tell you that I am the least selfishperson in the universe – as all who know me will attest! I woulddo everything and anything to please those who I hold dear (andbelieve me when I say I have!) Let me ask you just one thing; Areyou really happy? If you truly are 100% of the time then it wouldbe a pleasure to meet you!

So what is TRUE happiness, and why is it so complicated thateveryone experiences it in different ways? Before you even thinkabout beginning to answer that, first of all spend some timethinking about Quality, what it is and how it can be defined. Thegreat American writer and philosopher, Robert Pirsig (along withmany others no doubt), explored many possibilities in his endearingphilosophical novels Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance:An Inquiry into Values (1974) and Lila: An Inquiry into Morals(1991), and ended up precisely where? Precisely nowhere – that'swhere! And shall I tell you why? Maybe it's because so manypeople spend so much time analysing, delving into, and exploringideas and possibilities that they end up going around in a circle!Or is it merely a fact that there is no single answer? Could it bethat quality of life creates or causes happiness?

There are so many questions I ask, and no one seems to have anyanswers! Why does the thought of alien life excite me? Why whensomeone of great importance dies, do I feel an urgent desire to goand fill her place and continue all the good causes she created inthe world, because that would make me feel good? Is it really allabout Love, or Money? I only ask because I really don't think Iknow!

Most people have this massive faith in a force or being, in the wayof a religion or a belief and all I've ever believed in is myself, infinitelove and my family who brought me up to think that way. Theyhave so much love for me and I am sure even they occasionally losefaith, thinking that maybe I am not the wonderful human beingthey created, raised and live for! I'm not religious as such, althoughI live my life with spiritualist values. Like many other children, Ialways believed that my Mum and Dad could do anything – andthey did! They made me believe in myself, and taught me to havethe strength to achieve all my hopes and make all my dreamscome true. And they do ... and they are ...

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I'm up above the streets and houses – wish there were a rainbow ...there always was a rainbow in my garden! It was always there,brightening my life and my world. The healing colours; Red – Passion,Orange and Yellow – Fire and Sun, Green for Nature, Bluefor the skies and oceans, and my most favourite shades of purple;Indigo and Violet – deeply spiritual, sensual as velvet, smooth assilk, connecting us with those other realms!

Mum and Dad are able to recall fragments of a poem that as achild I read over and over.

"There's a Rainbow in my garden, for you and for me,In the garden of my cottage, beside the shining sea ...

Yellow are the daffodils, such a lovely hue,Indigo the pansy face, a kind of shiny blue ..."

I have always enjoyed poetry, and of course rainbows and allthe bright rainbow colours! Now I often create poetry, andmagic colours in my Yoga sessions! Perhaps that is why I loveteaching Yoga so much! It's not simply the soothing music, thedeep controlled relaxing breaths, or the stimulating positions – noreven the calming effect on my ever-hyperactive soul! It isall of these things, combined with the fact that I can share myknowledge of this wonderful experience with others and helpthem to understand the beauty and importance of colours in theirworld.

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It is my desire to bring Love and Happiness to as many peopleas possible. I have never seen so much unconditional love asthat of the children in Lesotho where I spent a very rewardingfifteen months of my life. Although in their eyes they believedthemselves to have nothing, they were always so incredibly happyand cheerful, and it made my heart so sad when they thought thatwestern children are happier than they are because they have CocaCola, televisions, cars and computers. Materially they may alwayshave more, but spiritually and mentally no one could be happierthan the lively round-faced Basotho children, who never had acare in the world, and spent many hours laughing and singingjoyously. Although they may struggle to find enough food to goaround their entire rather large families, there are always waysand means, and survival was not about begging and stealing fromeach other, although it was perfectly usual from us "white's" whothey perceived as having so much more than them. The poorinnocent souls believed we were better off than they were, but wenever could be – no matter how hard we tried!

I remember a song from the early 1980's by Charlene called "NeverBeen to Me". No...