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The Source of My Strength

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Contents

Foreword......................................................ixPreface.......................................................xiI. The Foundation.............................................1II. Fornication...............................................7III. The Unexpected...........................................15IV. Denial....................................................27V. Touch Down.................................................39VI. Spread Your Wings & Fly...................................49VII. The Foundation Cracks....................................55VIII. Two Become One..........................................61IX. A Family Tragedy..........................................69X. The Fight of My Life.......................................81XI. The Job Experience........................................97XII. Homeless & Bereavement...................................107XIII. Restoration.............................................121XIV. Up Close & Personal With Faith Whyte.....................125XV. Hindsight is 20-20 Vision.................................127

Chapter One

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. (Genesis 1:1-2 KJV)

Born and raised in the urban city of Camden, New Jersey and the oldest of six children, I was mature and was one who understood the true meaning of family. Some would say I was a little grown or sassy as a child. My memory recalls I was never disrespectful, on the other hand extremely opinionated, and always looking out for the best interest of my younger siblings. I thought of myself as the Gate Keeper or the Protector for my family. No one, and I mean no one, was going to harm my family physically or verbally without answering to me.

I wasn't a muscular kid, tall, or chubby. Everything about my stature growing up as a child was average with the exception of my mouth. If I had a disagreement with someone and was trying to argue my point of view, or if I felt like you were taking advantage of me or my family during an argument, my voice would expand to the size of the Empire State Building. As I demanded your attention to get my point across, it didn't matter the size or stature of my opponent because I knew and understood very early in life fear is not the spirit of God and I am not to fear any man.

Although I was born within the city limits, I didn't experience hard times and struggle as many inner city youth often do. If there were any issues or concerns within our household or within the marriage of my mother and stepfather; they both worked very diligently to demonstrate good character before their children. As they created a healthy and stable living environment for our family, they made sure our foundation was strong and firm, yet loving.

My parents were hard working, career minded, family oriented individuals. They worked together collectively to provide a awesome living arrangement for their family. They were strong disciplinarians and we were only allowed to play on our block. We were not permitted to go off our block for any reason at all. When the street light came on at dusk we were expected to be in the yard playing until our parents called us in to retire for the evening. As we laid in bed, we would be upset listening to our friends and other neighborhood children still playing outside. I realize now that our parents were keeping us safe.

Even within the family structure if any of the children were having problems with each other, as siblings often do, our parents would call us together. They would address the issue at hand, resolve it, and remind us we were sisters and brothers. In spite of what goes on around us, every one of us has a voice and a responsibility to each other. We can and all will be heard one at a time, we may agree or disagree, but in doing so we are to love one another and never let the sun go down on our wrath.

There was always something going on at our house because we had such a large family. It could be a birthday party, holiday party, bar-b-que, social gathering, or a quarter party. A quarter party was a a monthly event at our house. My parents would move all the furniture from the living room into the basement. They would charge all the children a quarter to come and dance to the soulful sounds of Motown and other artists from the `70's. My parents would serve hotdogs, chips, pretzels and punch at these parties.

The neighborhood children loved our parents and would hang out at our home quite often. Mom who was (and still is) an excellent cook would have the neighborhood smelling of her tasty soul food pouring from the windows of our kitchen. Yup, you guessed it, my stepfather loved to eat. No matter what was going on, dinner was served every night at five o'clock. Mom was from the old school and we all would gather around the table to eat dinner together as a family.

Dad ate so much, after awhile as he got older it was harder for him to work off the pounds he gained around his mid section. That's when his children affectionately gave him the nickname Big Belly. Mom on the other hand seemed to maintain her figure so we never had a nickname for her, but in due time she would adopt the nickname Lenny which was created by her best friend Poochie.

Our parents were good judges of character and had great friendships with all walks of life. Their friendships were long lasting and true. They would only end if someone was called home to be with the Lord. Of course you know this would be a temporary separation because they all had plans of meeting and seeing each other again in glory to rejoice in heaven.

Even if a couple moved out of state, separated, divorced, or remarried they all would remain friends because a friend is someone who loves at all times. Now I'm not saying our house was made of glass and was perfect. My parents did have disagreements every now and again but they always worked together to resolve the issue, and find a solution to the problem, instead of accusing each other of being the problem.

The family was raised up in the church. While Big Belly who was a Regional Bus Driver and often on the road, Lenny was the one who made sure the family attended service. Big Belly would attend church when his schedule permitted but the times were few and far in between. No one in my immediate family was clergy within the church; we were lay members.

Lenny was the choir director and head of the youth department. Of course she made sure all of her children sung on the choir and participated within the youth department.

Now the entire family could sing and I mean SAAAANG with the exception of yours truly, how did you guess, yes me! Although we were singing unto the glory of God, I could not hold one note. God didn't bless me with the gift of song as He did the rest of my family. If someone had to be led to Christ off of my solo, the church would be empty as the saints would vacate the sanctuary one at a time until empty. I was encouraged by my family and other choir members when I wanted to give up, to stick it out. As long as Lenny promised while she was choir...