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Contents

Chapter 1 — A different point of view....................................1Chapter 2 — The reality landscape........................................5Chapter 3 — The four pillars of health and happiness.....................17Chapter 4 — The Love Landscape...........................................35Chapter 5 — What do you want?............................................41Chapter 6 — Putting it all together......................................47

Chapter One

You will find in these lines some of my most personal views on this beautiful experience we call "life." They are NOT by any means original; I cannot, and will not, claim to be the inventor of any; however, they are the result of more than 40 years of observation of human nature, reading serious, and often, not so serious authors and personal experiences.

Several things make this work unique though, one is that the "filters" rendering the tones of my views are my first hand experience as an immigrant to this great country of ours "the land of opportunity," which provided me as an adult with a completely blank canvas in which to think and draw my life anew. Another is my natural focus on "logic." It is not common for a trained Engineer (a Bachelor of Science in Electrical Engineering, working for the computer industry in my case) to write about the "softer" sciences in life like human behavior, psychology or sociology, but this is what gives me a different edge. I can talk about my perceptions based on pure logic and experience in a way that hopefully will make you, my reader, think ... "That kind of makes sense ..." however, common sense is NOT very common at all.

Also unique to this material is a compilation of past personal experiences helping several people. For whatever reason, it has been my good fortune throughout the years to be there to help people, including family members, battle a lack of well-being. From minor cases of depression all the way to my latest experience with a midlife adult who had a failed suicide attempt after losing his family, to the hypochondriac young lady who kept looking for a solution to her life problems in a pill. I was able to walk side by side with these people and being able to provide support, friendship and care, to witness firsthand how they themselves conquered a tough battle with depression similar to that I fought personally way back. Growing up, had my share of stressful and depressing experiences, ranging from battling a very hostile environment at school, losing my Mother to cancer at a very young age, the breakdown of our family circle without her, and later in life dealing with a broken marriage that ended quickly in divorce. We all have to deal with depressing situations through life. I was lucky to find around me the necessary support and clarity to navigate those situations successfully.

This brings to the table the applicability of these lines. In this work you will find one or many ideas that right now, or at some point, will be APPLICABLE TO YOU. Because at one point or another in our lives we all experience depression, or just a lack of happiness and motivation to continue, some of us briefly, others really deeply. At the end of the day, we all can use a "logical" approach to problem solving that is not linked to a commercial interest. I am not writing this book to make a living, and because I am not limited or linked to you by a commercial contract, like a health professional would be, I can provide ideas and suggestions for YOU to take, if you want, and let YOU be the driver in your own improvement.

You will find that this work is more of a primer or a handbook than a full fledged book. I acknowledge that your time is valuable and tried to maintain a direct and concrete approach so this document is short in length. It is my style to include known phrases and metaphors to illustrate a point. I hope you find this to your liking.

These lines are written from recommendations of personal friends who, after listening to my ideas in their times of trouble, have encouraged me to put them down and make them available to others who might need them. If you, my reader, pick one concept and put it to work in your life, my effort to make this document public will be worthwhile.

Chapter Two

We all have used or heard the phrase "but this IS real" as a complete absolute when trying to convince others, or even ourselves, of a point of view. However I am opening this book by making a statement over reality that is important to open your mind as the reader. Reality is NOT constant or absolute. Reality is a variable that is unique to you today and different for all. With this I am not saying that your reality is less valid. I am only pointing out that your reality is valid only for you and is different from the reality of your significant other, your kids, your parents or anybody else over time.

If you have kids around you, look at their reality and compare it to those kids of the exact same age living in a third world country. Do you see all teens for example, immersed in the technology of our times (chatting online or texting over phone lines)? Does the political climate in each country make a difference in the daily lives of those teens? What about weather conditions in the region, religion, or family values? Compare those living in our country but in a different state, or those living in the same state but in a different city. You can continue with the comparisons closing to your own circle to see that reality is unique to each individual. Yet, despite being unique, reality is still completely valid for each person.

Take the case of the young kid scared of the dark in the safety of his/her own home. Imagine is your own child running to you at night in a complete state of terror. You can feel the greatly accelerated heart rate, see the eyes with dilated pupils, notice the sweaty body, and increased level of urgency for their personal safety. The child IS afraid of monsters under the bed when you know that there are none. Can you look at the signs in the child's body and think for a moment that the threat is not real for him/her? Your response as a parent would be different if you acknowledge, or not, the fact that for that specific moment, for that child in particular, the threat is part of his/her reality. You could dismiss the incident as a fantasy or lovingly help the child in need. Whatever your action is, will define in part the future character of the kid and your own relationship with him/her.

The acceptance of other realities has a dramatic effect on how we relate to others. We constantly give away subconscious clues in our tone of voice, posture and general demeanor that are dependent on our acceptance of the reality of others, and this is why is important to realize that others and their realities are out there. Somebody once said that "every head is a different world" and it is indeed. We just have to acknowledge it.

There are, however, some common elements in the infinite landscape of our realities. The one that I'm going to focus on is that despite our idea of humans as almost pure rational beings (we are so full of self importance and egotism as a species), we are by far,...