Recovering from Religious Abuse: 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom - Softcover

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Jack Watts has completed all but his dissertation for a Ph.D. from Emory University. He has worked for nearly three decades in marketing, exclusively serving Christian ministries and publishers. Jack has five children and nine grandchildren and lives in Atlanta.

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Have I Been Religiously Abused?

What Is Religious Abuse?

Religious abuse is the mistreatment of a person by someone in a position of spiritual authority, resulting in the diminishing of that person’s sense of well-being and growth—both spiritually and emotionally.

This spiritual authority is used to manipulate others for personal gain or to achieve a personal agenda, thereby harming that person’s walk with God.

It can also be defined as any misuse of Scripture that harms a person’s relationship with God—like the damage resulting from cult involvement.

A Self-Assessment Exercise

Have you experienced religious abuse? If so, how significant has it been? The following exercise will help you determine for yourself.

After reading each statement, simply circle the appropriate number on the ten-point scale. Try not to spend too much time on any one statement. Choose the first response that comes to your mind. Your gut reaction is usually the best.

Even if your abuse has been significant, there’s hope for you. You can overcome the wounding you’ve experienced and become everything you’re capable of being.

1. I have stopped going to church because someone in the ministry wounded me.

   10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

   Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

2. Although mistreated by someone in the ministry, I still go to church, but I simply go through the motions.

   10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

   Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

3. I believe God is displeased with me for leaving my church.

   10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

   Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

4. I believe most Christians are hypocrites.

   10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

   Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

5. Yes, a church leader has abused me.

   10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

   Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

6. I feel unworthy to pray.

   10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

   Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

7. I have been verbally abused by someone in the ministry.

   10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

   Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

8. I have been sexually abused by someone in the ministry.

   10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

   Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

9. I have been financially abused by someone in the ministry.

   10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

   Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

10. I have been emotionally abused by a religious experience.

    10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

    Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

11. I feel a sense of shame around religious people.

    10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

    Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

12. I feel used by religious people.

    10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

    Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

13. I believe religious people condemn me.

    10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

    Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

14. I am angry with God.

    10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

    Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

15. I feel unworthy to reach out to God.

    10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

    Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

16. There is more to life than I’m experiencing.

    10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

    Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

17. I would like to feel closer to God, but I don’t believe it’s possible.

    10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

    Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

18. Life has no meaning.

    10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

    Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

19. Sometimes I wonder if I have a drinking problem.

    10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

    Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

20. Sometimes I wonder if I abuse prescription drugs.

    10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

    Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

21. Sometimes I wonder if I have a problem with pornography.

    10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

    Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

22. Sometimes I don’t believe God loves me.

    10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

    Strongly Agree / Agree / Neither Agree nor Disagree / Disagree / Strongly Disagree

Now that you’ve finished, add your total score.

• If you circled 7 or higher on any statement, Recovering from Religious Abuse can help you.

• If your total score is between 101 and 129, this book will help you.

• If you score 130 or above, you definitely need Recovering from Religious Abuse.

• If you score above 150, your need for Recovering from Religious Abuse is significant.

Four Personal Accounts of Religious Abuse

Religious abuse occurs frequently and can happen to anyone—regardless of gender, religious affiliation, or time of life. Most abuse is inadvertent—not intended to inflict permanent damage to a person. This is not the type of religious abuse we deal with in Recovering from Religious Abuse. Throughout this book, our focus is squarely upon those who use their positions of authority to abuse others, which makes it particularly devastating to the recipient. These leaders believe they have the authority and the right to do so. They believe they are entitled to treat others the way they do.

The consequences of their abusiveness are frequently catastrophic—nearly as devastating as when a parent tells a child that he or she is unloved and unwanted. Sadly, even little children can experience religious abuse at a time when they are the most vulnerable and impressionable. The negative imprint upon a child can last a lifetime, diminishing the recipient’s self-worth. If unchecked, it can lessen a person’s lifelong accomplishments.

Religious abuse is devastating because it nearly always brings the recipient’s relationship with God into question. Either directly or indirectly, the abuser states or implies that the person’s connection to God is flawed, making the abusee feel alienated—a person with diminished value, a person unworthy of God’s love and care. Being estranged from God is like being estranged from a loving parent: no good comes from it.

To give you a better understanding—a better feel—for what religious abuse really is, four examples will be given: one from a small boy, one from an altar boy, one from a young man just beginning to make his way in the world, and one from a man going through a proverbial midlife crisis. Each is an example of a religious authority figure’s using his position of power to abuse someone in his charge.

My own personal experiences with religious abuse are woven throughout all these...