Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Dr. James Wadley is a marriage, family, and sexuality therapist and teaches at the collegiate level at West Chester University and University of the Sciences in Philadelphia. He has a private practice and serves as an educational and behavioral health consultant to several school districts. His workshops and lectures cover a wide array of topics including intimacy enhancement, communication strategies, relationship building and maintenance, responsible decision making, and values clarification. Dr. Wadley's visionary concept of "Would you marry you?" has received local, national, and international recognition as his groups and lectures invites individuals to explore their feelings about how they feel about themselves and their relationships. He was recently interviewed by Chris Costello and Mary Collier for the 4BC Breakfast Program in Melbourne, Australia about the concept and has been on numerous television and radio programs about whether people would marry themselves or not. Dr. Wadley received his Doctorate of Philosophy degree in Education from the University of Pennyslvania with a concentration in Educational Leadership and Human Sexuality Education. He has a Masters in Education degree in School Psychology from the University of Kentucky and Bachelor's degree from Hampton University. Finally, James holds a clinical postgraduate certificate in Marriage and Family Therapy from the Council for Relationships in Philadelphia.

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Would you MARRY YOU?

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Contents

Introduction........................................................................................51. Would you marry you?.............................................................................72. Yes, I would marry myself. On the other hand, maybe I wouldn't..................................553. "... til death do us part." What do I Really want in my marriage to myself?.....................634. Tips for marrying yourself.......................................................................695. Conclusion.......................................................................................71Suggested Reading...................................................................................73

Chapter One

... if you have a history of lying?

... if you make loud noises while you chew your food?

... if you are always rude to your family?

... if you are argumentative or often disagree with your family, friends, or professional colleagues?

... if you have too much sex and can't finish your work or take care of your responsibilities?

... if you don't like to have sex at all?

... if you have a history of flirting a lot?

... if you talk too much about trivial things?

... if you have a criminal record?

... if you spend all day playing video games rather than spending time with friends or family?

... if you consider yourself to be sexually imaginative or creative?

... if you often leave dirty underwear and laundry around the house?

... if you never or rarely spend time with your children?

... if you never attended church, mosque, synagogue, or temple to worship?

... if as a 20-, 30-, 40-year-old person, you never moved out of your parents' home?

... if you leave cabinet doors open all the time?

... if you know you drink too much?

... if you leave the toilet seat up or down?

... if you burp loudly after each meal?

... if you cheat on your taxes?

... if you fail to say "Please," "Thank you," or be courteous to others?

... if you consider yourself to be sexually conservative?

... if you abuse drugs?

... if you attempt to control other people?

... if you allow people to say or do what they want to you?

... if you brush your teeth less than twice a day and have a history of having bad breath or bleeding gums?

... if you know you are a poor cook and the food you prepare doesn't taste good?

... if you watch television all day and never want to leave the house?

... if you bite your fork while you eat?

.....if you swear too much?

... if you believe you always have to be right about everything?

... if you cannot forgive others?

... if you are chronically ill?

... if you routinely fall asleep in church, mosque, synagogue, or temple?

... if you have a history of never buying anyone a present during the holiday season but expect presents from others?

... if you've never performed any community service?

... if you don't clean your fingernails?

... if you've never voted?

... if you never give yourself enough credit for the things you've accomplished in life?

... if you have a history of biting your fingernails and spitting the shavings onto the furniture?

... if you use two or three parking spots for your car without regarding other people?

... if you never go to the doctor's office to get regular checkups?

... if you are a risk taker (e.g., jump out of airplanes; speeding in a motor vehicle).

... if you think your particular race or ethnic background is superior to another's?

... if you always use bad grammar?

... if you are quiet and introverted?

... if you have a history of being fired from your job?

... if you rarely or infrequently visit your dentist?

... if you are emotionally needy or clingy?

... if you throw tantrums when you do not get your way?

... if you are an underachiever?

... if you create drama when there is none?

... if you create or pass along junk email to the point that it annoys other people?

... if you take food home from restaurants, don't eat it, and then wastefully throw it in the trash?

... if you refuse to leave your neighborhood or city?

... if you have no appreciation for art or music?

... if you make positive suggestions to others that you would never do?

... if you slouch in your chair and appear uninterested in what other people share with you?

... if you spend much of the day text messaging and talking on the telephone, while ignoring others around you?

... if you frequently drive through traffic signals and stop signs?

... if you hate the way your body looks?

... if you are often late?

... if you've been evicted or had one of your utilities turned off because of nonpayment?

... if you smoke?

... if you only eat junk food or fast food?

... if you became secretly involved sexually with your best friend's wife/husband?

... if you are dishonest and claim that you like someone as a friend but you really don't?

... if you use sex to get favors where you work?

... if you never call your family to say you love them?

... if you are never satisfied with anything?

... if you think you are boring?

... if you routinely call in sick for work but you really aren't sick?

... if you never stand up to your boss or supervisor and tell them what you really want to contribute to your job?

... if you neglect or abuse pets and other animals?

... if you can't trust anyone?

... if you can't trust yourself?

... if you have a particular preference (e.g., race, religion, socioeconomic status) in dating someone?

... if you often procrastinate?

... if you rarely listen to people where you work because you believe your way is always the best way to do things?

... if you never talk honestly with anyone about abstinence or safe sex?

... if you routinely call or text message your partner 15-20 times each day?

... if you rarely or never take a vacation?

... if you get scared easily?

... if you watch television while others want to talk with you?

... if you have body odor?

... if you continue to sleep around?

... if you never feel comfortable crying or showing some other emotion?

... if you have a history of breaking up more than twice with the same person and then resuming the relationship?

... if you routinely take coins from the "Give a penny ... take a penny" dish at the store?

... if you aren't smart?

... if you are verbally abusive toward others?

... if have no thoughts about a Higher Power (e.g., God, Yahweh, Allah, etc.)?

... if you flirt with your brother's or sister's wife, husband, or partner?

... if you refuse to change your clothes each day?

... if you are dependent upon others for transportation and need a ride or carpool everywhere you go?

... if you never acknowledge your family heritage?

... if you spend time viewing sexually explicit materials?

... if you are obnoxious or behave like a child in public?

... if you often avoid special family events?

... if you can't have children?

... if you steal things?

... if you often overeat?

... if you never follow directions in putting things together or making things?

... if you are a reckless driver?

... if you...