About the Author
Rachel Renée Russell is an attorney who prefers writing tween books to legal briefs. (Mainly because books are a lot more fun and pajamas and bunny slippers aren’t allowed in court.) Rachel lives in Chantilly, Virginia.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Dork Diaries 9 WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2
The past twenty-four hours of my life have been so disgustingly NAUSEATING that I’m actually starting to feel like a . . . puddle of . . . um, cat . . . VOMIT!!
First I ruined my brand-new sweater with a PBJ and pickle sandwich (a long story).
Then I got hit in the face by a dodgeball during gym in front of the ENTIRE class and ended up trapped in a wacky fairy tale (an even longer story!).
Okay, I can handle the utter HUMILIATION of walking around school OBLIVIOUS to the fact that a SANDWICH is stuck to my abdomen like duct tape.
Hey, I can even handle a mild concussion. However, what I CAN’T handle is the fact that “someone” started an AWFUL rumor about me!
I overheard two CCP (Cute, Cool & Popular) girls gossiping about it in the bathroom.
Rumor has it that my CRUSH kissed me (at a charity event last weekend) on a DARE merely to snag a FREE large pizza from Queasy Cheesy!
Of course I totally FREAKED when I heard it! Not only is a dare like that rude and insensitive, but it’s a very cruel joke to play on a person like . . . well . . . ME!
I was SURE the whole thing was a big fat LIE! Sorry! But everyone knows Queasy Cheesy pizzas are just NASTY! Had it been a dare for a yummy Crazy Burger, I’d TOTALLY believe it!
Hey, I’ll be the first to admit, that rumor could have been A LOT worse. But STILL . . . !! I just wish “someone” would stay out of my personal business. And by “someone,” I mean my mortal enemy . . . MACKENZIE HOLLISTER !!
I don’t know why that girl HATES MY GUTS! It wasn’t MY fault Principal Winston gave her a three-day detention for “unsportsmanlike behavior” for slamming me in the face with that dodgeball.
I’m really LUCKY I’m not in a COMA right now! Or undergoing life-threatening surgery . . .
Anyway, as punishment for what MacKenzie did to me, she has to clean the bug-infested showers in the girls’ locker room.
Unfortunately, I learned today that the bug problem in there is REALLY bad!!
I was sitting behind MacKenzie in French class finishing up my homework when I noticed there was something stuck in her hair.
At first I thought it was one of those fancy designer barrettes she loves to wear. But when I took a closer look, I realized it was actually a gigantic dead STINK BUG!! EWW !!
That’s when I tapped her on the shoulder. “Um, MacKenzie! Excuse me, but I just wanted to let you know that—”
“Nikki, WHY are you even talking to me?! Just mind your OWN business!” she said, glaring at me like I was something her spoiled poodle, Fifi, had left in the grass in her backyard.
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