Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

John Bridges, author of How to Be a Gentleman, is also the coauthor, with Bryan Curtis, of seven other volumes in the best-selling GentleManners series. He is a frequent guest on television and radio news programs, always championing gentlemanly behavior in modern society. Bridges has appeared on the Today Show, the Discovery Channel, and CBS Sunday Morning, and has been profiled in People magazine and the New York Times.

Auszug. © Genehmigter Nachdruck. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.

HOW TO Be a GENTLEMAN

Thomas Nelson

Contents

Introduction................................................................................1The Fundamental Things Apply: 10 Eternal Truths of the Gentlemanly Life.....................4Chapter One A Gentleman Experiences Real Life..............................................7Chapter Two A Gentleman Gets Dressed.......................................................55Chapter Three A Gentleman Goes to Dinner...................................................77Chapter Four A Gentleman Says the Right Thing..............................................95Chapter Five A Gentleman Gives a Party.....................................................121Chapter Six A Gentleman Goes to a Party....................................................137Chapter Seven A Gentleman and His Friends..................................................155Chapter Eight A Gentleman Goes to the Office...............................................179Chapter Nine A Gentleman Gets Equipped.....................................................199Chapter Ten Extreme Etiquette..............................................................209Index.......................................................................................223

Chapter One

A gentleman knows how to make others feel comfortable.

* * *

If a gentleman has a cold, and especially if he is running a fever, he declines all social invitations. If it is possible, he even stays away from the office.

* * *

Even if he lives alone, a gentleman never drinks milk directly from the container.

A gentleman knows that unseemly habits, although they may seem innocuous, can easily become hard, or even impossible, to break.

A Gentleman and his cell phone

Although cell phones have become ubiquitous in the modern world, a gentleman does his best to use his cell phone in the most unobtrusive manner possible. He knows that, while many may consider a cell phone to be a necessity, there is no reason he should be obnoxious when using one. In fact, cell phones, and even wireless headsets, have become so common that no one is likely to be impressed by the fact that a gentleman owns one. He need not flaunt his newest gadgets, no matter how expensive or cutting-edge they may be, in hopes of impressing others with his social or professional status. A gentleman who seeks to shore up his self-image by the use of gadgetry, especially among strangers, is a very needy gentleman indeed.

A gentleman knows that incessant use of his cell phone can only make it clear that he values the person on the other end of the telephone conversation far more highly than the persons who are in his company. Such behavior is, at its best, ill mannered and irritating. At its worst, it grows tedious and may well lead to unpleasant confrontations with total strangers, theater ushers, train conductors, or airport security.

A gentleman's telephone calls—whether they concern business or private matters—are still his personal affair. He does not force others to listen while he negotiates a real estate deal, while he makes plans for a Saturday-night outing, or while he recreates, in vivid detail, every play of the past weekend's rugby game. Other people, after all, are probably no more interested in the dealings of his day-to-day existence than he is interested in theirs.

If a gentleman finds that he truly must initiate, or receive, a phone call while he is in a public place, he moves to the place where he is least likely to become a nuisance to others. He knows that it is virtually impossible to conduct a quiet cell phone conversation—especially when he is in a crowded restaurant, the aisle of a grocery store, or the lobby of a theater. If the person on the other end of the conversation can hear him, a gentleman had best assume that every other person within earshot can probably hear him, too.

Even in a business meeting, or when he is conducting business at mealtime, a gentleman still says, "Excuse me" before answering a call—even if it is related to the business at hand. He does not make phone calls during a business meeting, unless they are pertinent to the topic that is currently on the table and unless it is appropriate for the content of the conversation to be shared with everyone else within hearing distance.

A gentleman would never be so rude, or self-important, as to cover the phone with his hand, turn his head away from the rest of the table, and mutter, "Excuse me, folks, but this isn't something everybody here needs to be in on."

A gentleman who happens to be a doctor checks his pager with an usher or changes it to the silent setting. However, if he is a real estate agent out for an evening at the theater, he turns off his pager and his cell phone entirely. A real-estate closing is not a life-threatening emergency.

* * *

A gentleman does not switch on his cell phone and launch into a conversation the moment his plane has landed, simply because a flight attendant has told him it is safe to do so.

* * *

If a flight attendant tells a gentleman to turn off his cell phone, his MP3 player, his laptop, or any other electronic device, he does so immediately. He does not behave childishly, attempting to stay on the phone until he has been singled out for having ignored the safety instructions.

Although a gentleman may be enjoying music, by means of his personal sound system and with his earbuds plugged in, he still keeps the volume turned to a reasonable level, knowing that an earth-shattering sound level may well be shattering the nerves of the persons seated near him.

* * *

A gentleman does not assume that, because his wireless headset is inconspicuous, his conversations are inconspicuous, as well.

* * *

Whenever a...