CHAPTER 1

FORGIVINGOTHERS

This section begins with a true story told by a womannamed Renee. In fact, her story is actually the reasonwhy this little book exists. A few years ago Renee wasamong the first to respond when I asked people to share theirstory. The moment I read her tragically beautiful telling of thefreedom she found in forgiveness, I thought to myself, The wholeworld needs to hear this story. So here it is....

Forgiveness

It's the hardest thing to give awayThe last thing on your mind todayIt always goes to those who don't deserve

RENEE

I never understood why God would ask Abraham to sacrificeIsaac, the son he had waited so long to have. I also alwayshoped He would never require such a sacrifice of me.

Once my first child, a son, was born, I really couldn't understandhow Abraham just did what God told him to do. The lovea parent has for a child is like no other. God also blessed mewith three daughters, the last two being identical twins. I lovemy children with all my heart and could never imagine livingwithout any one of them.

I now have a mission I did not choose: DUI presentations.

On May 11, 2002, a twenty-four-year-old drunk driver namedEric killed one of my twins, Meagan, and her friend Lisa, bothgirls twenty years old. This event was devastating for all threefamilies involved and the countless friends who mourned theloss of these precious girls. Words cannot fully describe thepain and loss I felt.

In the weeks and months that followed, I spiraled into adark hole that I could not seem to get out of. Eric was the onebehind bars, but I felt like the one being held prisoner. I couldnot imagine life without Meagan. I wanted to go back and fix it.But I couldn't do that.

I'd always had a childlike faith, but suddenly my faith hadbeen shaken like never before. Everything I'd always believedin had been thrown up in the air, and I didn't know what tobelieve anymore. But I needed to know that there was a heaven.I wanted to believe my daughter was there and I would see heragain. The grief was so heavy, I felt like it was going to suffocateme. I had no joy. I would listen to praise and worship music inmy car, but I couldn't sing. I had so much anger inside of me,so much rage. But God wrapped His arms around me in thatdarkness. He let me know that He was with me.

I began to turn in the direction of forgiveness at Eric's sentencing,seventeen months after the accident. Throughout theentire trial Eric had shown little remorse for what he had done.This only served to fuel my anger. But I walked into his finalsentencing already knowing in my heart I needed to forgivehim. Then, as my entire family sat in the courtroom waiting tohear the judge's verdict, Eric stood to share some last words.He began to weep as he said how sorry he was for whathe had done. Then he turned to face my family and me. Hestood there in handcuffs and a prison jumpsuit, tears streamingdown his face, looking at me, and he said, "I would givemy own life if it would bring back these girls, but it won't ...and I'm so sorry."

That was a moment when healing began in my life. Suddenly,instead of anger, I began to feel compassion for thisyoung man who had made a tragic mistake. For a long timeI'd thought that by forgiving Eric, I would be betraying mydaughter or, in a way, leaving her behind. I thought forgivingEric was almost like saying, "What he did doesn't matter."But God showed me that forgiving Eric was the best way tohonor Meagan and to assure that her loving legacy wouldlive on.

Today my story is a story of healing and forgiveness. Myfamily and Lisa's family chose to forgive Eric. We even appealedto have his twenty-two-year prison sentence reduced. Thejudge granted our request, and today Eric is a free man. Buthe's not the only one who is free. I've been set free from theburden I carried for so long, the burden of bitterness.

TWO PRISONERS, ONE WORD

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and thendiscover that the prisoner was you.

Lewis B. Smedes

A good story can make you lose yourself. A great onecan help you to find yourself...