Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Jason Boyett is a writer, speaker, marketing professional, and the author of Pocket Guide to the Afterlife, Pocket Guide to the Bible, and several other books. He has appeared on the History Channel and National Geographic Channel and written for a variety of publications. He lives in Texas with his wife, Aimee, and their two children. Learn more at www.jasonboyett.com.

Auszug. © Genehmigter Nachdruck. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.

A Guy's Guide to Life

Thomas Nelson

Contents

Acknowledgments......................................ixIntroduction.........................................x1. Manly Myths.......................................32. Peer Pressure.....................................143. Communication.....................................254. Dating............................................395. The Next-Generation Gentleman.....................526. Grooming..........................................657. Dress Like a Man..................................778. Health and Exercise...............................889. The Sex Chapter...................................9610. Women: Mysteries Explained.......................11711. Family...........................................13312. Friends..........................................15013. Faith............................................i6614. Your Neighbor....................................17915. What's Next?.....................................195Conclusion...........................................207

Chapter One

This is probably the worst idea ever, but the first thing I want you to do as we kick-start the first chapter of the book is to (drum roll ...) turn off your brain. Flip the mental switch. I'm going to ask you a series of multiple-choice questions, and I want you to answer them as automatically as possible. Don't think too much. In fact, don't think at all. Go with whatever pops into your head first. Ready?

1. Which of the following occupations is the most manly?

a. Accountant b. Construction worker c. Nurse d. Teacher

2. If all were equally attractive, which of the guys below would the girls be most interested in at school?

a. The varsity quarterback b. The valedictorian c. The first-chair violinist d. The yearbook editor

3. You just fell down a full flight of stairs between classes. Your backpack spilled across the floor, you're pretty sure an ankle's broken, and something like five hundred people are now eyeing you like a monkey just climbed out of your butt. What's the proper response?

a. Ask someone to call 911. b. Ask someone to call your mommy. c. Ask someone for a tissue, then start crying like a baby. d. Get up and act like you completely meant to fall down the stairs. That bone shard sticking out of your sock? Just a little scratch. Walk it off.

Ten bucks says this is how you answered, in order: construction worker, quarterback, and the no-big-deal approach to falling down the stairs. How do I know? Because those were my answers too. I'm a guy, and I can guess how most guys think, even with turned-off brains. Which reminds me-time to reboot. Unknot the noodle. That's all the nonthinkage you get for the remainder of this book. Let's get started.

What Is a Man?

Most of us have a pretty good idea of what it means to be a guy. A guy is active, strong, and masculine. A guy is athletic and competitive and a natural leader. A guy is tough, macho, and doesn't show pain. He's not controlled by emotion. He's laidback, cool, and confident in all situations. He never cries, never shows weakness. He's in charge. He's a stud.

Also: we're wrong.

We've been brainwashed by the myths of manhood. We've been snookered by male stereotypes. What's a stereotype? A stereotype is a set of beliefs about the "typical" characteristics that are supposed to apply to all members of a certain group of people-women, men, blacks, whites, Hispanics, whomever. Stereotypes can be positive or negative, and are a way for society to distinguish one group from another. Occasionally they're accurate. But mostly they're oversimplified, offensive exaggerations.

We've all heard them, of course. You're aware of any number of stereotypes about certain races, from the supposed athletic prowess of African-Americans to the impressive work ethic of Asians. Distasteful? Yep. Racist? Probably. But did you also realize that there are stereotypes about men? It's true. As guys grow up and slog through the process of becoming a man-something you're knee-deep in this very moment, by the way-we tend to buy into wrong ideas about what a man should be. Those misconceptions are based on stereotypes, and the stereotypes are everywhere. You hear them at school, at home, in church, and especially in the media.

That makes things hard. As a teenager, you're at the stage in life where you're starting to leave behind the kid stuff and take on more adult personality traits and responsibilities. You're looking to established men to help you define what those characteristics are. Many of you are in luck, because you have good male role models in your lives-fathers, teachers, ministers. But some guys don't have those things, so they look elsewhere for tips on manhood. And most often, that "elsewhere" means Hollywood. Their models of masculinity are the guys who show up on TV shows and in movies. Thinking Brad Pitt or Robert Pattinson is cool? That's fine. Modeling your life after them? Not so much.

A boatload of media researchers and analysts have studied the portrayal of males on TV and in the movies, and almost all of them have come to the same conclusion: the media's portrayal of what it means to be a "real" man in our society is, well, dumb. Narrow-minded. Clueless. Basically wrong. If you're taking your cues on manliness from the entertainment world, you're probably getting the wrong idea.

So it's time for a counterattack. Time to make some corrections, to offer you a real look at what it means to be a man (which, incidentally, is the idea behind this whole book-handy, huh?). To start, let's look at a bunch of those stereotypes about guys and then discuss what's real. Time to demolish the male myths.

MYTH: Guys are action heroes in disguise, bringing muscles, mayhem, and mad combat skills to every situation.

Where It Comes From: Jason Statham movies, old Bruce Willis movies, the really old Rambo movies. Actually, pretty much any movie with explosions and car chases and guys with large, tattooed biceps.

THE REALITY: Are you kidding? If I'm ever in some situation where suddenly I have to jump a motorcycle through a plate-glass window ten stories above the ground while machine-gunning a whole gang of bad guys with European accents, all while smoking a cigarette and wearing a tight-fitting shirt that emphasizes my enormous pecs-well, the next time that's required of me is the next time I'm wetting my pants. Many guys have leadership qualities. Manyguys are good at taking charge of a situation. Many guys can even be heroic. But very rarely does that heroism call for a degree in motorcycle stunt-riding.

There are plenty of other ways to be a hero. A guy can be a hero by doing the right thing, by defending the underdog, or by speaking up for some kid who's being picked on. Heroes come in all shapes and sizes. And you don't have to be impossibly ripped to be one.

MYTH: Guys are violent, angry, and aggressive.

Where It Comes From: Again, movies and TV shows play a big role. So do the news media and, unfortunately, real life. More men than women have been convicted of violent crimes. Almost all school shootings have involved guys. Almost all serial killers...