Excerpt from The Diary of Jean Evarts, 1912
In these last days the world about me has echoed the voices that I hear so constantly within. Sometimes they whisper patience, and bid me hope that the storms which have beaten down my soul in this experience called life shall rage in vain against that portal through which I go. Sometimes they ring through my soul with the wild clamor of huge bells, and stir my confused thought into fierce protests against the laws that foreordained me to misery and death. Again, they sink into whispered temptations to destroy my life, and end at once the confusion and pain. But I dare not do this — weakness has sapped my courage — and I could not know that in killing the body I had destroyed the Self. How the awful thoughts of Self beat upon my tortured soul when the storms of temptation are raging! This Self that I have found here, cast into the world without my knowledge or consent, emerging from utter darkness, only to sink again into darkness just as profound and mysterious!
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Excerpt from The Diary of Jean Evarts, 1912
In these last days the world about me has echoed the voices that I hear so constantly within. Sometimes they whisper patience, and bid me hope that the storms which have beaten down my soul in this experience called life shall rage in vain against that portal through which I go. Sometimes they ring through my soul with the wild clamor of huge bells, and stir my confused thought into fierce protests against the laws that foreordained me to misery and death. Again, they sink into whispered temptations to destroy my life, and end at once the confusion and pain. But I dare not do this - weakness has sapped my courage - and I could not know that in killing the body I had destroyed the Self.
How the awful thoughts of Self beat upon my tortured soul when the storms of temptation are raging! This Self that I have found here, cast into the world without my knowledge or consent, emerging from utter darkness, only to sink again into darkness just as profound and mysterious!
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This book is a reproduction of an important historical work. Forgotten Books uses state-of-the-art technology to digitally reconstruct the work, preserving the original format whilst repairing imperfections present in the aged copy. In rare cases, an imperfection in the original, such as a blemish or missing page, may be replicated in our edition. We do, however, repair the vast majority of imperfections successfully; any imperfections that remain are intentionally left to preserve the state of such historical works.
Excerpt from The Diary of Jean Evarts, 1912
California - and May! The warm earth quivers with expectancy, and the air is full of the promise of new life. The soft winds that blow from the inland are driving the rain clouds back to the ocean, and whispering to the barren hill-sides and brown valleys a message of roses, of flaming poppy fields and summer's bounty. I hear the meadow lark's sweet call, a pean of sheer gladness for life. I hear the twitter of swallows, and catch the gleam of the tanager as it flashes past me, too occupied with its renewed responsibilities to be mindful of my presence. Far down in the valley below me, the cattle, just turned into the new grass, are rejoicing in the abundance that is spread before them. I love to watch the cloud-shadows glide along this, great valley and melt into the hills far beyond. I love to sit here at sunset and see the wonderful changes of color that tint the landscape when the glowing sun tips those distant hills. I love to linger here when it has sunk behind the mountains, with night falling around me, and watch the Stars come out and the lights appear in the farm houses far below. Beyond those sentinel hills lies the bay, with its Golden Gate opening out into the great ocean. I caught a glimpse of this when they brought me here, and my heart was filled with longing to sail out through that sunlit portal and into the vast unknown - on and on, until I should come to that other gateway through which I shall soon pass.
About the Publisher
Forgotten Books publishes hundreds of thousands of rare and classic books. Find more at www.forgottenbooks.com
This book is a reproduction of an important historical work. Forgotten Books uses state-of-the-art technology to digitally reconstruct the work, preserving the original format whilst repairing imperfections present in the aged copy. In rare cases, an imperfection in the original, such as a blemish or missing page, may be replicated in our edition. We do, however, repair the vast majority of imperfections successfully; any imperfections that remain are intentionally left to preserve the state of such historical works.
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