The Lightbulb Moment

DON'T CALL IT A DREAM; CALL IT A PLAN!

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J-14 magazine asked me to host a Facebook Live Q&A, which I loved. It was a quick and easy way for me to connect with my brand's audience and to offer them advice.

One of the best interactions I had was with a girl who bluntly told me, "I want to get started, but I have no ideas."

First off it was a great statement because it made me do a spit take, I laughed so hard. She was being earnest but she was also really funny. But once that initial reaction faded, the absolute honesty was refreshing. Haven't we all been there?

Sometimes inspiration hits, but you can't quite land on something specific. But there are ways to get to the idea! This person wanted to be a creator but was unsure of what she wanted to create. I suggested finding a partner.

"Maybe," I said, "someone else has an idea but doesn't know quite how to make it happen. Partnerships between thinkers and doers can be the most powerful collaborations of all!"

Ideas are great and clearly essential, but they don't mean anything without execution. Lots of people can sit around and come up with ideas, but you'd be surprised at how few actually try and make them happen. At least a handful of people I met early on when I started DigiTour told me they'd had a similar idea or they wished they'd had that idea. An idea is only the first spark before a fire is lit, but it's the hard work of rubbing two sticks together that really gets a fire going. Execution is the key.

Ideas have always been my strength. My weakness is that I get distracted easily. Shiny Object Syndrome. Maybe you're familiar with it? Symptoms include watching thirty seconds of a video and quickly jumping to one of the thumbnails on the right, then opening Snapchat and scrolling for a bit, then chiming in on a group text until you remember you haven't looked at Instagram. All in less than five minutes? I can relate.

My husband (hey, Chris, wyd) is exactly the opposite. Chris is laser focused — I mean Buddhist-monk-on-the-verge-of-enlightenment focused. It works out well: when we're on tour, I'm always thinking three stops ahead, while he's focused completely on the one we're currently settling into. If you combine the two of us, we are unstoppable. He's my partner in life and my partner in business.

That's exactly what I told that girl during the J14 livestream. You don't have to go out and marry your partner like I did, but good things can happen when people pair up. A lot of the influencers in this book work with a partner. If you find someone who complements your strengths and weaknesses, you can both help each other succeed further than you would alone.

START DOING SOMETHING. ANYTHING.

I always wanted to be a singer-songwriter, but I had no idea how to make it a reality.

My talent level was halfway decent, and I definitely had the motivation, but I didn't know anyone in "the biz." Where do you start when you have no connections?

When I was fifteen, I decided one way to get closer to my music-business ambitions was to apply for an internship at a record label in New York. That way, I could get an inside look at how it all worked, and make friends with every single person I met. And if Madonna or Justin Timberlake happened to come into my office and decided to take me on tour, well that would just be an added bonus!

One day at school I skipped lunch and went to see the internship coordinator, Miss Rosemary. Her job was to hook students up with internship opportunities. Normally she only worked with seniors, but I can be pretty convincing when I want something.

"Most companies don't pay their interns anything, so they only accept college students, who can receive course credits for their work," Miss Rosemary told me.

"Sure they say that," I told her, "but once they see how badly I want it and how hard I'll work, they'll definitely take me! Besides, they don't need to pay me, I just want to work there!"

"Do you know anyone who works in music?" she asked. "Anyone who could help us get in the door?" I sighed. "No."

"Well ... We can certainly try. But don't get your hopes up!"

For the next few months, I ate lunch with Miss Rosemary in her office. We sent dozens of letters to every record label in Manhattan, big and small, explaining why I would be the perfect fit for their program. I personalized each letter, telling each recipient how much I loved whichever artists were on their label. If they didn't have any artists I really loved, then I'd say how much I appreciated the artistic value of their artists. I hand-signed every one of the letters and said a little prayer for each one before putting them in the mail.

All of that work paid off. I was offered a summer internship! It was at J Records, home to Alicia Keys (who I really loved!) and founded by music mogul Clive Davis (Google him). When Miss Rosemary told me the amazing news, I screamed so loud the assistant principal ran in to make sure I hadn't died!

That summer, I was sixteen, and I was working in "the city." My mom would drop me off at the train station in the morning (I lived in Connecticut; it was like a forty-minute train ride) and she'd pick me up at night.

Daydreaming is nice, but it also never got anyone "discovered." And no matter how much you wish it, you'll never just wake up one day with your perfect storybook job. Nearly anything you want is attainable, but usually not overnight and often not exactly as you imagined. You need to make a plan, roll up your sleeves, and get to work. The momentum of experience will change your life.

To be Selfie Made requires action, focus, and a lot of determination ... and a lot of DOING!

I always set my sights on what is next. I'm not saying this is a great way to live. Sometimes you get caught up and forget to enjoy the moment. You become so supercharged with the tomorrow of it all that you never really get there. That's the big secret for you planners: tomorrow is but a myth. There only ever is today. Seize the moment, make today the day you take action!

The philosophy of action can help transform the way you think about your goals. Be patient, strategic, obsessed, and extremely thick-skinned.

Keep pushing forward even if the whole world tells you to stop. Believe in yourself!

Do you believe you can do anything you can imagine? There is a certain power and confidence that accompanies that belief. You can do it; you don't need someone to do it for you. And if it's not up to someone else, you don't need to wait around. If it's only up to you to get it done, right now is a great time to start!

EVERY DAY I'M HUSTLIN'

I was noticeably the youngest employee at J Records, but I saw it as...