PART I

Common Misapprehensions

Let's make sure our ideas of success are our own, that we are truly the authors of our own ambitions.

— ALAIN DE BOTTON

PERSONAL AGENCY? YOU'D LIKE TO THINK SO!

Misapprehension #1:My thoughts are entirely my own. The way I think about the world, and my place in it, is completely unique to me.

CAPITALISTS DESIGNED THE AMERICAN PUBLIC EDUCATION SYSTEM TO TURN CHILDREN INTO OBEDIENT WORKERS.

I know this sounds like the musings of a conspiracy theorist, but let's examine the facts: in 1843 US Congressman Horace Mann traveled to Prussia, where this civic-minded educational system was already in place, and when he got back to America he lobbied to emulate it. Educational historians laud Horace Mann as the champion of free public schooling to help children grow into educated voters, but there is a dark side to this system: his efforts opened classrooms to those kids besides boys from wealthy families, but in doing so Mann advocated for an orderly society at the expense of the individual. His educational vision implied that the "common" child — one not born into privilege — should learn to follow rules and directions rather than inventing his own, and for that Mann is remembered as the "Father of the Common School." It is not much of a generalization to say that in a traditional school environment, conformity is valued over innovation. Sir Ken Robinson makes this argument in his 2006 TED Talk, "Do Schools Kill Creativity?," and it's the most-watched TED video of all time because we know how right he is.

When you actually stop to consider it — which probably isn't often — you can see how we are brought up to be good little workers, good little consumers. How many of your childhood desires — for toys, pets, junk food, Halloween costumes — were influenced by advertisements and commercials? Did you ever ask a parent or teacher why something was done in a particular way, only to be shut down with a variation of "because I said so"? How many times did the hunger for approval win out over curiosity and imagination?

You might begin to suspect that even your most cherished and private ambitions are double agents in the service of that destiny. It makes sense, right? We are made to feel that we must always be striving for more. A bigger house, more money, more success, because if you feel complete just as you are, then you're no longer a cog in the system. You are insuggestible and therefore unprofitable. Corporations need you to feel inadequate. They need you to want all the things. They're selling you an idea of individuality that they've created, and selling you the products that will keep you believing in this illusion. It's in their interest to let you think you have personal agency, that you're making all your own decisions. There's a reason why The Matrix was such a successful movie.

Train yourself to think more critically about what you truly believe and want, what actually makes you happy. What are your favorite foods? Your favorite films and music? What did you want to be when you grew up and why, and how did you come to do what you're doing now? What appeals to you and what disgusts you, and why? If you keep looking you'll begin to see your biases and your assumptions, and how you came to hold them in the first place.

If you think that as a creative individual you are above all this shallow materialism and mindless conformity, that it doesn't apply to you, think again. Artists have their own carnival of bullshit to contend with, and it might be even more insidious. We've convinced ourselves we're striving not for our own glory but for the benefit of art, of literature, of culture, but we still "need" the MacBook Pro to write our screenplay. We "need" the diploma from a "prestigious" school if we wish to be taken seriously in our chosen field. We "need" the top-of-the-line art supplies and music equipment and lessons with the most respected teacher in our echelon. I'm not saying we can't legitimately benefit from these resources — just that we shouldn't identify with the trappings.

If you want to slough off this culturally imposed bullshit, you have to go and sit in a very quiet place where no one can possibly interrupt you. Ask yourself, "How much of this is actually mine?"

Do you even want what you think you want?

Don't let anyone tell you, ever, that this is a zero-sum game. Your genius does not threaten me. It delights and inspires me.

— SEANAN McGUIRE

SWEET LITTLE BLOBS OF TEMPORARY PERSONHOOD

Misapprehension #2:We are isolated and competitive individuals, forever jostling with strangers for a seat on the bus at the end of a long day.

In fourth grade I got to duck out of some of the regular subjects each week to attend "Challenge" classes. Only two students in the whole grade could say they were in "Challenge Everything" — literature, math, art, and music — and I was one of them. You can tell by the way I'm recounting this that I was a bit too proud of it. A classmate, who would become one of the stars on the high school basketball team, once told me (half wistfully, half resentfully) that if there were only a "Challenge Gym," well then, he'd be in it. Looking back on it now, I understand why that kid didn't like me.

As children we are told that no two snowflakes are precisely alike, that each of us is "special" and "unique," but even when we are small we can sniff the poop under the platitude. We may be too young yet to articulate this, but we understand on an instinctive level that if everyone is special — if every watercolor in the middle school art show gets a ribbon — then there's no real value to the word. So, through the preferential treatment of our parents and teachers, we come to believe that some of us are more special...