The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce Volume 4 - Softcover

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can usually download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1910 edition. Excerpt: ... Which I lammed?--or my old 'oman, Which has frequent basted me?" All the landscape swam around him At the thought of such a lot: In a swoon his Annie found him And conveyed him to her cot . 'Twas the very house, the garden, Where their honeymoon was passed: 'Twas the place where Mrs. Arden Would have mourned him to the last. Ah, what grief she'd known without himl Now what tears of joy she shed! Enoch Arden looked about him: "Shanghaied!"--that was all he said. DISAVOWAL Two bodies are lying in Phoenix Park, Grim and bloody and stiff and stark, And a Land League man with averted eye Crosses himself as he hurries by. And he says to his conscience under his breath: "I have had no hand in this deed of death." A Fenian, making a circuit wide And passing them by on the other side, Shudders and crosses himself and cries: "Who says that I did it, he lies, he lies!" Gingerly stepping across the gore, Pat Satan comes after the two before, Makes, in a solemnly comical way, The sign of the cross and is heard to say: "O dear, what a terrible sight to see, For babes like them and a saint like me!'" 1882. AN AVERAGE I ne'er could be entirely fond Of any maiden who's a blonde, And no brunette that e'er I saw My whole devotion e'er could draw. Yet sure no girl was ever made Just half of light and half of shade. And so, this happy mean to get, I love a blonde and a brunette. INCURABLE From pride, guile, hate, greed, melancholy-- From any kind of vice, or folly, Bias, propensity or passion That is in prevalence and fashion, Save one, the sufferer or lover May, by the grace of God, recover. Alone that spiritual tetter, The zeal to make creation better, Glows still immedicably warmer. Who knows of a reformed reformer? THE PUN Hail, peerless Pun! thou last...