How Did I Get Here - Softcover

Inhaltsangabe

Here I am. Wondering what is becoming of me. It is elusive to me what my future may hold. As I try to understand, or theorize where I may be in five or ten years, I cannot for the life of me draw a conclusive picture. The only thing I am sure about is my past and that haunts me on an almost daily basis. What is clear to me are memories. Memories that won't let me rest. I have visions of funerals. People, family, that I lost many years ago are showing up to tease me. My mind flashes scenes from the past. No matter how hard I try I cannot shake these, I'm not sure what to call them. Delusions? My wife keeps telling me. "You can't live in the past. You must put all of that behind you. It will eat you alive." She is right. I know she is. It is eating me alive. It is torturing me, polluting my mind. These thoughts are ruining what should be supposedly my best year. My 'Golden Years.' I carry a heavy burden. A burden that to me seems unfair. I didn't create most of the things that threaten my sanity. Maybe that a cop-out. I don't know. But, as I sit here, I tell myself I am innocent. I doubt that true. Anyway, I know some of the decisions I have made in my life have put me here. Questioning. This short book was meant to simply make me exorcize some of my demons. It was meant, in the beginning to simply be a letter. A letter that was never to be mailed. I did not intend for anyone to read it. It was simply a way to unload, say to those ghosts the things I never said while they were alive. This is just an attempt to set aside my guilt, hurt or whatever else that sticks in my side like a sharp thorn. I let it all out. Will this writing be my savior? I don't know. As I say at the end of this piece, only time will tell. .

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