The Game of Life - How To Play, How To Win - Softcover

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Dr. James Murray is CEO of Optimal Solutions International, a firm that specializes in helping organizations and their employees reach their full potential. He is a rare breed. He has four degrees including a doctorate, teaches at several Canadian and American universities, is a much sought-after advisor on corporate renewal, has over 25 years experience as a strategic planner, is an author and business columnist, a professor of international law, a labour relations mediator, and the list goes on.

During his eclectic career, Jim built four disparate organizations into success stories, spending an average of eight years on each before moving to new challenges. At every plateau, he redefined how business was done by focusing his intellect and energy squarely on his five principles for success: people, perspective, philosophy, paradox and persuasion.

As educator, transformational thinker and communicator, he has conveyed his views to hundreds of thousands of people from all walks of life through his seminars, books and business columns. His courses on Creativity and Innovation, The Art of Negotiating . . .With Anyone, Influencing Difficult People, and Change by Choice have been taught on campuses across North America and in Fortune 500 boardrooms. He has an uncanny ability to motivate people to change and improve their interpersonal effectiveness.

It is this same commitment and vision that led him to write The Game of Life, about which he says: "People have been asking me for years to write this book. It encapsulates over 20 years of my research, teaching and personal observations on the game. It focuses on the dynamics of human behaviour in conflict situations, whether at the breakfast table, in the office or at the bargaining table. It's about handling difficult people in a variety of challenging circumstances. More importantly, it's about you -- and your ability to achieve your personal aspirations in life."

Aus dem Klappentext

To win, you must know how to play the game. To win consistently, you must know who you're playing and what makes the most challenging players so successful. Discover a competitive advantage -- learn how to play the game of life with: ~

Bullies ~

Bureaucrats ~

Dinosaurs ~

Guerrilla Fighters ~

Grenades ~

Know-it-alls ~

Manipulators ~

Myopics ~

No People ~

Oysters ~

Tough Guys ~

Wafflers ~

Whiners ~

Yes People Whether your focus is on parent-child or family relationships, complex business dealings or management-labour conflicts, the guidelines offered in this reader-friendly book will not only help you better understand "the games people play" but also your own emotions as these games unfold. Written by an expert in influence psychology, The Game of Life shows you which tactics are most effective in changing obnoxious and insensitive behaviours. It provides practical strategies for preventing tension in important relationships. It tells you how to master the game and enhance the quality of your life. Which is really what winning is all about.

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On Power (page 37): In every relationship, there exists a imbalance of power. Power is neither equally distributed between the parties nor is it static. Depending on the people and the situation, it is constantly shifting and fluid. This dynamic "disequilibrium" is perhaps best explained by viewing power as an equation. Your ability to understand this equation and manage it will greatly influence your chances of success in the game. On Creativity (page 42): The barriers to creativity go beyond those imposed by formal education, time, money, policy, tradition, experience, assumptions, habits, and more. The way a problem is defined, the amount of information we have (either too much or too little), our environment and our motivation can all block our ability to conceive ideas and find innovative solutions. For some, the list of barriers that limit creative potential seems virtually endless. Yet, on analysis, these barriers are largely a matter of perception. We create our "boxes" and sustain and reinforce these comfort zones in our mind. They become convenient excuses for inaction, rationalizations that enable us to align our actual performance with our expectations of performance. These barriers to creative thought also become ammunition in the hands of those who oppose our ideas and our objectives. On Listening (page 57): Next to physical survival, our greatest need as humans is psychological survival. That is the need to be appreciated, to be validated, affirmed and understood as individuals. Just as we need air to breathe, we need "psychological air" to grow. Empathic listening gives others psychological air. Once they've inhaled this rarefied air, they are more willing to listen to our point of view, to consider our options and alternatives and to collaborate on solving problems. They play the game with a motivation to find mutually rewarding, win-win outcomes. On Confrontation (page 64): Most of us instinctively shy away from confrontation. Yet our ability to handle confrontation and deal effectively with conflict will determine the direction, nature and quality of our lives. All personal renewal and organizational changes begin with confrontation. Change occurs when we confront inadequacy or complacency. New lifestyles encourage confrontation. And the result is usually progress, growth and new beginnings. Confrontation means facing up to reality. It means "saying it like it is" and dealing with the tangled web of issues, problems, challenges, values, and potentialities that can debilitate relationships and organizational performance. But confrontation is only the beginning of the process. Inevitably, it must lead to a search for innovative ways of solving personal and organizational problems. On Bullies (page 85): Bullies appear to derive satisfaction from abusing their victims. While capable of physical assaults, the abuse is more likely to be psychological. They possess an uncanny sense of who will make a good victim. It's as if they have antennae for insecure people, for those with low self-esteem or self-confidence. They seem to know which people are unlikely to retaliate when verbally abused or insulted. As with most of the challenging players in the game, however, it is the victim who energizes the monster by reinforcing the objectionable behaviour with normal but unthinking responses. On Manipulators (page 119): Manipulators are cautious, coy and distrustful. They like to devise strategies, play games, bargain and compromise. They approach their game in a very logical and specific way. They are expert players. They typically think through all the moves before making any of their own. In fact, they would prefer to have all the pieces before the game even begins. Their favourite tactics are acting confused or stupid, playing the martyr or acting helpless, pitting people against one another, and trading "favours." They believe in the adage that dumb can be smart. They are usually charming people who know the value of being dramatic when the occasion warrants. In chameleon-like fashion, they can become blamers, pleaders and pretenders. On The NO People (page 134): In dealing with negativists, it's important to understand the meaning and consequences of "no." Clearly, the word means different things to different people. To a negotiator, it's merely a position in time. To a child, it's an open invitation to challenge parental authority. To the conflict manager, it's firm confrontation. To an unquestioning subordinate, it's rejection carved in stone. To a literalist, it's lost opportunity. To a pessimist, it's a way of life.

On Whiners (page 149): Whiners see themselves as noble warriors for all that's right in the world, so they complain about all they see that's wrong. They are self-righteous folk who view themselves as perfect, but powerless. They typically have an answer or, better still, a prescription to virtually all of life's many problems but they assume they lack either the authority or the means to implement solutions. The act of whining keeps them blameless and innocent...in their own eyes at least.

On The Essence of The Game (page 164): We have a natural predisposition to filter our encounters with people through our past experiences. We perceive and react to stereotypical behaviours rather than seeing the other person with fresh eyes and a thinking mind every time we meet. We do not look for insights that highlight the individualism of the people with whom we play the game. We do not benefit from our awareness of player prototypes. Rather, we allow ourselves to be creatures of habit and we react accordingly.