(Warning—Do not give this book to children, do not read it or show it to them,unless you are willing to connect with your own heart and foster a basicattitude of generosity and compassion in them.)

I heard a true story the other day about a boy and his sister, told to me by adoctor. The girl, aged eight, had a rare disease, and only her six-year-oldbrother had the kind of blood she needed to live. His mother asked him if hewould be willing to donate blood to save his sister's life. He said he'd have tothink about it.

After a while, he returned and agreed to the transfusion. Both children went tothe clinic together. The doctor had them lay down on adjoining beds, and drewblood from the boy until the plastic transfusion bag was full, then transferredthe bag over to the sister, allowing it to drip slowly into her arm. As hissister was receiving his blood, the brother called the doctor over and whisperedin his ear, "Will I start to die right away?" The boy thought that giving bloodto his sister meant that he would be giving up his life for her—that was why heneeded to think about it.

Thirty years of working with children, teaching them and learning from them inthe darkest corners of the inner city and the shiniest arenas of the suburbs hasled me to believe that the compassionate generosity of that boy is present atthe core of every one of us. I'm not talking about the ledger sheet one-for-you-one-for-me giving we have learned as adults, but the kind of giving to you thatis also a giving to me, the letting go that opens body and spirit. I think whatwe most long for is who we are at our core, and children are the truest mirrorsof that open-hearted nature.

Lean in and look at what they reflect back to us:

Kids are hopeful, they believe they can change, easily and often. They lookforward, not back. They like to think about what could be, not what was. If youask them the reasons they did something last night, they'll tell you how they'lldo it differently tomorrow.

Kids are possibility addicts. Tomorrow they'll hit a home run, the day afterthey'll get along with their sister, next year they'll get a nicer teacher.They're always working on something. If you listen deeply, you'll hear alanguage of hopefulness and striving, an elasticity that keeps them going andtrying.

Kids organically love to master challenges. They want to try new things, move innew directions, be productive. They are genuine risk takers, sometimes out offaith, sometimes out of desperation. More than anything else, children want andneed to belong, to partner, to collaborate.

Kids teach us how, with a positive focus and strong support, we can move forwardin a healthy direction. But what are we offering to them? When most of us werechildren, the adults around us believed that the future would be better than thepast. Nowadays, kids are being educated in a context in which the adults aroundthem believe the future will be worse than the present. We are crushing ourchildren with our own pessimism and cynicism.

Research has shown that children who are raised by parents whose aim is to teachthem to avoid negative situations—"Be careful, you'll get hurt"; "Try harder oryou'll fail"—tend to be defensive, isolated, and overall low achievers, seeingthe world as a dangerous place to be avoided. On the other hand, children whoseparents demonstrate and support active engagement in the community, who teachand reinforce a positive model of interaction with the world, become highachievers.

In other words, if we only focus on what's wrong, we will produce anothergeneration of inhibited, hoarding, hardening, refusing adults who do their verybest to avoid problems but have no vision of what they need to move forward. Butit doesn't have to be that way. It's not just problems that we face, but whatthese problems can become that matter.

As adults, we must ask more of our children than they know how to ask ofthemselves. What can we do that will foster their open-hearted hopefulness,engage their need to collaborate, be an incentive to utilize their naturalcompetency and compassion? What if instead of condemning the darkness, we turnour children toward the light by giving them something to move towards? What ifwe show them ways they can connect, reach out, weave themselves into the web ofrelationships that is called community? What if we helped children expand theirrepertoire by offering them new possibilities for forward movement so they couldlearn to translate their anger, rebellion, defiance into an active challengethey could be proud of? What is destructiveness but creativity looking for aplace to happen? What is stubbornness but determination seeking soil in which toroot?

Generosity is an inherent motivator of the greatest power, which will emerge ifgiven a chance. To experience it is rewarding and self-reinforcing, not just forwhat it produces, but for the inner feeling we get that we can make adifference. Once begun, generosity starts a landslide because successstrengthens children.

To help children feel good about themselves, we have to help them feel goodabout the world. We must learn again to hope and encourage them to do the same.For as soon as you say, "I hope this will happen," what follows is "This is whatI can do about it." Merely telling them over and over that they are wonderfulwon't do a thing to increase their self-esteem—did it ever work for you?—butgive them a map and an engaging project that is relevant, and it will serve as alightening rod for their energy. Watch the power that is released!

When the adult version of Random Acts Of Kindness was first published, hundredsof teachers across the country were captivated by the vision it offered. Theygave assignments to their students to write about such unsolicited acts thatthey had experienced or created. Schools in Maryland, Florida, California,Washington, and Texas initiated school-wide programs promoting "Random Acts ofKindness." The results were so rich that teachers sent them to Conari Press, whowas then induced to seek out more. They advertised in Merlin's Pen, a teacher'smagazine, and put out a call for stories on a teacher's computer bulletin board.Like a sunrise, the light would not be held back: stories poured in; from bigcities to rural communities, from private academies to ghetto schools throughoutCanada and the United States, children of all ages responded enthusiastically.

The drive-by shootings, the senseless destruction and violence has not stopped.This book is an attempt to balance that, not deny it. We need to teach childrenhow to connect what is best in them with what the community around them needs.The bridge that is built will lead them to a place of belonging where thehealthy part of them can be activated, where forward momentum can be fostered,where they can learn again to dream of a better world that is theirs to create.It is in the spirit of that possibility that this book is born.

—Dawna Markova, Ph.D.,author of How Your Child is Smart, The Artof the Possible, and No Enemies Within.