CHAPTER 1

Why Am I Here?

WANTED: Persons for a vocation that leads God'speople in bearing witness to God's new creationrevealed in Jesus Christ by the power of the HolySpirit. Work schedule is shaped by relationships,focusing on what is important in people's lives, anddepends on regular rhythms of work, rest and play.Compensation is shaped by a mutual discernment ofwhat is necessary in order for the persons (and,where appropriate, their families) to have an appropriatelywell-lived life. The vocation involves cultivatingholy dispositions, preaching and teaching,nurturing rigorous study and shaping practices offaithful living in church and world. Lifelong educationand formation is expected in order to enableothers also to grow throughout their lives. Thesuccessful candidate will collaborate with otherstoward the same ends. The person with thisvocation reports to God.

— Gregory Jones, "Job Description,"in The Christian Century (10 January 2006)

Vocational discernment has in some circles becomenearly as lively an interest, and as nebulous a subject,as spirituality. And like spirituality, considerations of vocationaldiscernment have tended toward a rather narrowtreatment, suggesting that vocational discernment islimited to an elite or specialized few, and that those whoundertake it are, or ought to be, set apart. Little considerationis given to vocational discernment outside the realmof ordained ministry in the church.

This book aims to encourage a renewed commitmentto the ageless Christian discipline of vocational discernmentas the foundation of all ministry, a discipline andresponsibility of all the baptized, individually and collectively.With few exceptions, I have drawn most heavilyupon the most reliable source I know, which is my ownexperience of more than thirty years in active ministry.Nearly all of those years were devoted to a campusministry, a context aptly described by one former divinityschool student as "a little laboratory" within which one cantry things much more difficult to attempt in a parish.Those years also include a stint in a small mission congregation,its transition to self-supporting parish status, andsix years as associate to the rector of a large, complexcongregation with over one thousand members. Moreover,extensive supply and consulting work have allowed me toestablish abiding relationships with a variety of congregationsin the urban, small town, and rural communities ofnorthern Illinois, and several states beyond.

Those experiences and relationships are used herein toframe, illustrate, or punctuate a text primarily aimed atstimulating consideration of and conversation about vocationaldiscernment. These stories are frequently and intentionallycast without specific identification. By treatingthem generically, I emphasize that what distinguishesthese stories are principles that are hardly unique to oneplace or parish and may be articulated in varied practices.They are thus, like the parables of Jesus, more likely toprovide a point of entry or identification for the reader.And they remind us that discernment is not imitation.

Discernment is an aspect of the Christian life andexperience that pervaded my ministry to such an extentthat it constitutes a significant portion of my own vocation.In Inquiring and Discerning Hearts: Vocation andMinistry with Young Adults on Campus, Gary Peluso and Iidentified vocational discernment as a significant andsubstantive portion of ministry on campus. In Crossing theJordan: Meditations on Vocation, I reflected upon the life ofJesus and his vocational discernment revealed in scriptureas a guide to contemplating our own vocational journeys.

This book, in returning to a subject so central to myown thought and ministry, allows me opportunity forgreater scope. It reaches more deeply into Christianhistory, scripture, and experience, locating a biblical andtheological foundation for vocation in Genesis. It likewisereaches farther than my previous work into Christianpractice, expanding some of my learnings in campusministry beyond that context to find application incongregations. Written in the first years of my retirementfrom the institutional responsibilities of ministry, thisbook has been shaped by my own discernment and transitioninto a new vocation in an ever-unfolding ministry.Though still very much an ordained priest, my daily lifelooks and feels more akin to that of the first order ofministry, the laity. I am aware once again that the boundariesof one's identity and vocation are more fluid than amore narrow interpretation of vocation would allow, andthat the best laid plans are subject always to change.Vocation is boundless, freely traversing the categories ofsacred and profane, church and world.

Wresting vocational discernment from its narrow andnear exclusive confinement to professional ordained officesand restoring it to the whole church is a priority forministry in and beyond the twenty-first century. For whilethere is precious little warrant in scripture for a church thatgathers and keeps its members unto itself, there is abundantcommission for a church which, through its scatteredmembers and their varied gifts, extends to the farthestreaches the compelling love of God. Vocational discernmentis not just how the institutional church finds itsordained leadership. Vocational discernment is the mostbasic and essential expression of the church's mission.

the big question

Experience has taught me that in any process of vocationaldiscernment attention must first and always be paid to theBIG questions, which are really only ONE big question:Why am I here? This essential question has many dimensions.It can be posed in any moment and in everyinstance beckons the asker into deeper reflection even as itoffers insight. It is cast in three dimensions—the threedimensions of human life in all its fullness:

* Why did God make me? (past)

* What am I to do with my life and love?How do I fit in here? (present)

* What and where will I be tomorrow? (future)

What kind of work will I do, to whom will I commit mylove, and what kind of shape and meaning will my lifetake? For Christians, the answers to these questions—andthe journey to those answers—is the subject of some of ourmost fervent and sincere prayer. The journey to thoseanswers takes us through our riskiest and richest...