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FIRST TIME UP

UTAH STATE UNIVERSITY PRESS

Contents

Acknowledgments..................................................................ixIntroduction.....................................................................xi1 Why You've Made the Right Choice..............................................12 Preparing.....................................................................223 Resources.....................................................................414 The First Day.................................................................535 Grading, Attendance, and Other Pains-in-the-Butt..............................636 What You Should Know About Theory (For Now)...................................827 Confident and Humble, and Other Contradictions We Live By.....................998 Avoiding Stress...............................................................1089 Nightmares....................................................................13410 Outside the Classroom.........................................................15511 Building Your Future..........................................................162The Last Word....................................................................172A Yes, You May...................................................................174B Motivation Through Metaphor....................................................177C Another Obnoxious Questionnaire................................................180D In Defense of Subjective Grading...............................................181E Teaching Academic Integrity....................................................186References.......................................................................202Index............................................................................206

Chapter One

It is time to give away the secret: teaching writing is fun. Donald M. Murray, A Writer Teaches Writing

I know, it's pretty cheesy to start a book with a line stolen from someone else's opener. You may think I'm just being lazy, but that isn't my only motivation. As a new composition teacher, you need to get used to borrowing, whether from veterans like me, founding fathers like Murray, or your officemate whose class ends just before yours begins. If you think you're going to do everything your own way, not follow anyone's footsteps, you'll blow fuses before you turn in your first set of grades. Teaching composition is, and as far as I can tell always has been, a cooperative venture: comp teachers share ideas across the hall, across the country, across generations. Give credit when you can, but always remember, in a very real sense, you are not alone.

Murray's quote may have pissed you off when you first read it. You may be nauseous from fear, frantic with last-minute preparations, panicked about everything you don't know. Murray's words may sound like sadistic gloating.

But they're true. Think about it. Although you may be new to the department, you probably already know, or know of, people who finished their graduate study years ago but stick around, teaching a course or two as an adjunct when they can. Most of them eventually move on-it's a rare department that will let adjuncts stay indefinitely. Some find "real" jobs that pay real money. Some go back to school. Some take the plunge to full-time writing. But they don't quit teaching comp because they're bored. People stick to it, come back to it from much better-paying jobs, because it's fascinating. And fun.

Administrators, students, and the job itself may create headaches and make it difficult for you to enjoy yourself. But that's why you bought this book. I wrote it to reduce the barriers and hassles and mysteries of the job, to help you get to the "fun" part as quickly as possible.

WHAT'S FUN ABOUT IT?

Getting the teaching rush. Adrenaline's a powerful drug with impressive effects. You may be sick, worn out, irritated, distracted, but when you walk into your classroom, even years after you've conquered your novice butterflies, you'll get a burst of energy that will carry you through. It may be hours before you remember, "Oh yeah, I barely slept last night." Unless you're unusual, you won't be nervous after a few months (or maybe years) of teaching, but you'll still get "up" for every class.

Being your own boss. In most places, you get to teach what you want. As Steven L. VanderStaay puts it, "Teachers are professionals in the sense that they are not so much told how to do their job as appointed to decide for themselves how best to do it" (96). You'll rarely teach more than twelve hours each week, and you'll control your other work hours: you'll determine when to grade papers, prepare for class, or have conferences, so you can ski or play Grand Theft Auto during the day and work until 2 a.m. if you want. Even if the writing program gives you a book or a syllabus and administrators observe you frequently, to a large extent, you'll be on your own. And that freedom gives you the opportunity to enjoy many other sources of fun, including:

Being creative. If you're a creative writer, you may worry that you have to shelve your creativity while you teach your expository writing classes. But teaching a good comp course requires as much creativity as writing a short story, and few activities produce more and better writing. Writing teachers should write as much as they have time for, in front of students and on their own, both to sharpen their own skills and to make fresh and personal the frustrations and triumphs that their students are experiencing. Teachers who have never thought of themselves as "creative" soon find themselves coming up with clever, original ideas for almost every class. How can you interest your students in punctuation? How can you help a young writer develop an anecdote into an essay?

Answering such questions daily can make even your subconscious creative. In the midst of working on this book, I had a teaching anxiety dream (yes, even veterans get them). This one had all the elements: I had forgotten the class-an American lit survey; I couldn't get to my office; I couldn't find the classroom; students jammed the halls; I hadn't ordered the books. But even in the nightmare, I thought like a creative teacher-I figured we'd read James Fenimore Cooper's The Pioneers first, and I'd explain to my class that I hadn't ordered the book because it was so readily available in so many editions that I decided to let them save money and buy an old copy wherever they could.

Peeking into other lives. Yes, writing teachers are voyeurs. Benevolent voyeurs. We witness the inner workings of minds at one of the great transitional moments of life. We watch as writers discover that their parents' divorce actually improved their lives, that the religion they grew up with doesn't work for them any more, that the gun control debate has two rational sides, that they really are as smart as "kids" half their age. We're bystanders, and sometimes coaches, as students plan their futures and make sense of the lives they've led.

And what fascinating lives to peer into! Do you remember what you were like at eighteen, nineteen, twenty? Or when you went back to school after years at home or on the job? It's a time of rapid, radical...