Move beyond the mechanics of sex to a rich and rewardingconnection!
God’s desire is for couples to enjoy vibrant sexualrelationships without inhibition, awkwardness, fear, resentment, guilt, orshame. With honesty and frankness, life coach and best-selling author ShannonEthridge opens the minds of both husbands and wives to embrace a lifestyle of passionand pleasure.
Divided into four sections, The Passion Principles helps couples celebrate the spiritual,mental, emotional, and physical dimensions of sexuality. Questions include:
Some chapters end with questions for personalcontemplation or for couples to use as conversation starters, and otherchapters end with prayers that foster a deeper spiritual and emotionalconnection, making this book a perfect guide to a more passionate love life.
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Shannon Ethridge is a best-selling author, international speaker, and certified life coach with a master’s degree in counseling human relations from Liberty University. She has spoken to youth, college students, and adults since 1989, and is the author of 21 books, including the million-copy best-selling Every Woman’s Battle series.She is a frequent guest on TVand radio programs, such as The Today Show , The 700 Club , New Life Live! with Stephen Arterburn, and Life Today with James and Betty Robison. She also mentors aspiring writers and speakers through her BLAST Program (Building Leaders, Authors, Speakers and Teachers). Although grateful for the opportunities to influence this generation as a writer and speaker, Shannon remains most passionate about her role as a wife and best friend to her husband, Greg, and a mother to daughter, Erin, and son, Matthew. Learn more at www.ShannonEthridge.com.
| Acknowledgments............................................................ | xi |
| Foreword by Gary Thomas.................................................... | xiii |
| Introduction............................................................... | xvii |
| Passion Principle #1: Celebrate the Spiritual Side of Sex.................. | |
| ONE + ONE = ONE............................................................ | |
| 1 What was God thinking when He created sex?............................... | 3 |
| 2 Why does God say we have to be married to have sex?...................... | 11 |
| 3 What if we went too far sexually before we married?...................... | 16 |
| THE GENESIS OF SEX......................................................... | |
| 4 What does the Old Testament say about sex?............................... | 21 |
| 5 Why is the Song of Solomon even in the Bible?............................ | 28 |
| 6 Why did God tell Hosea to marry a prostitute?............................ | 33 |
| THE GOSPEL TRUTH........................................................... | |
| 7 What did Jesus say about sex? And how can He possibly relate to our struggles?................................................................. | 40 |
| 8 Why is the relationship between Jesus and His church described as a Bridegroom/bride relationship?............................................. | 47 |
| 9 What is the connection between sexuality and spirituality?............... | 53 |
| 10 Will there be sex in heaven?............................................ | 60 |
| PLAYING BY THE RULE BOOK................................................... | |
| 11 How can we know that what we are doing in bed is okay with God?......... | 65 |
| 12 How does the whole submission thing work in marriage?................... | 70 |
| 13 What if we disagree on something sexual? Who wins that argument?........ | 75 |
| Passion Principle #2: Celebrate the Mental Side of Sex..................... | |
| SEX ON THE BRAIN........................................................... | |
| 14 Why do humans think about sex so much?.................................. | 83 |
| 15 Why do I so rarely/often think about sex in comparison to my spouse?.... | 87 |
| 16 What is the difference between love and lust?........................... | 92 |
| GETTING ON THE SAME PAGE................................................... | |
| 17 How did we get such different ideas about sex and love?................. | 96 |
| 18 How can we get in the mood for sex more often?.......................... | 99 |
| 19 Is it really possible to be "naked and feel no shame"?.................. | 104 |
| RULES OF (MENTAL) ENGAGEMENT............................................... | |
| 20 Is it possible to stop thinking sexual thoughts?........................ | 112 |
| 21 What is the harm in using a little pornography to warm things up?....... | 116 |
| 22 What if I want to turn a fantasy into a reality?........................ | 123 |
| MOVING FORWARD MENTALLY.................................................... | |
| 23 How can I get past his or her sexual past?.............................. | 128 |
| 24 How can I get past my own sexual past?.................................. | 133 |
| Passion Principle #3: Celebrate the Emotional Side of Sex.................. | |
| MOVING BEYOND ABUSE........................................................ | |
| 25 Is it possible to enjoy sex when I have been sexually abused?........... | 141 |
| 26 Should I tell my spouse about the abuse or keep it to myself?........... | 145 |
| 27 How can I help my spouse heal from the sexual abuses he or she suffered?.................................................................. | 150 |
| MOVING BEYOND BETRAYAL..................................................... | |
| 28 What if I find it difficult to trust my spouse?......................... | 157 |
| 29 Can marital trust be reestablished when broken? If not, is divorce an option?.................................................................... | 163 |
| EVOLUTION OF A RELATIONSHIP................................................ | |
| 30 What if my heart is telling me that I married the wrong person?......... | 172 |
| 31 What is the secret to staying together forever?......................... | 178 |
| Passion Principle #4: Celebrate the Physical Side of Sex................... | |
| HYGIENE 101................................................................ | |
| 32 How can I bring my A-game into the bedroom?............................. | 189 |
| 33 How can we enjoy the afterglow without the after-mess?.................. | 194 |
| EUREKA!.................................................................... | |
| 34 How can I (re)discover my spouse's sexual hot spots?.................... | 199 |
| 35 How can we balance mismatched sex drives?............................... | 206 |
| 36 Will having children negatively affect our sex life?.................... | 215 |
| LET FREEDOM RING!.......................................................... | |
| 37 Is the "missionary position" the only "holy" way to have sex?........... | 222 |
| 38 What about oral or anal sex in marriage?................................ | 226 |
| 39 What about sex toys in marriage?........................................ | 234 |
| SHANNON'S QUESTION TO YOU.................................................. | |
| 40 Where is your "finish line"?............................................ | 239 |
| Notes...................................................................... | 245 |
| About the Author........................................................... | 251 |
One + One = One
1. WHAT WAS GOD THINKING WHEN HE CREATED SEX?
SEX IS THE MOST SCANDALOUS, SINFUL, SHAMEFUL THING IN THEworld ... so be sure to save it for someone you love.
If we are honest, this is the mind-set of far too manyChristians, whether we recognize it or not. Most of us were raisedby well-intentioned parents and church leaders who wanted thebest for us, so they attempted to "sanitize" our thinking about allthings sexual.
For example, growing up I heard more than a few sermons oryouth group...
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