Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Karol Ladd, a former teacher, has authored twenty-one books, including the best-selling Silver Angel Award-winning The Power of a Positive Mom. The founder and president of Positive Life Principles, Inc. and co-founder of a character-building club called USA Sonshine Girls, Karol loves sharing creative ideas for families and positive principles for life. She and her husband, Curt, have two daughters and reside in Dallas, Texas.

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a positive plan for creating more calm, less stress

W Publishing Group

Contents

Introduction: Too Blessed to Be Stressed?.............................v1 Divine Delights in a Less-Than-Perfect Family.......................12 Confessions of an Overwhelmed Mom...................................13Step One: Create a Calm Environment3 Solutions to the Top Ten Stressors at Home..........................274 I'd Be Less Angry If You'd Be More Obedient.........................455 Winning the War on Piles of Stuff...................................55Step Two: Refresh Your Spirit6 Prescription for Peace..............................................697 Casting Off Cares versus Cuddling Up with Them......................808 Delicious Daily Morsels of God's Word...............................88Step Three: Renew Your Body9 Increasing the "Happy Hormones".....................................9910 The Perfect Diet for the Diet-Impaired Woman.......................109Step Four: Roll with the Punches11 "Flexible" Is My Middle Name.......................................12512 Seeing Life through the Bright Glasses of Hope.....................13413 Keeping Your Sanity in the Suffering...............................143Step Five: Strengthen Family Relationships14 Are You Enjoying or Annoying Your Family?..........................15515 Sacred Secrets to Staying Connected................................16416 Wiring Your Home for Family Communication..........................177Conclusion: Intimate Calm.............................................187Notes.................................................................191About the Author......................................................196

Chapter One

Our home joys are the most delightful earth affords, and the joy of parents in their children is the most holy joy of humanity. It makes their hearts pure and good; it lifts men up to their Father in heaven. Johann Heinrich Pestalozzi

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you. Psalm 37:4-5 NLT

As a former science teacher and a current mom, I've discovered that the laws of family physics are relatively similar to some of the natural laws of physics. For example:

1. An object at rest (such as a teenager or husband or family dog) tends to stay at rest, unless otherwise motivated by a phone call, persistent nagging, or a biscuit. 2. An object in motion (such as a mouth) tends to stay in motion, especially when grumbling, complaining, or eating. 3. For every action (push, shove, or negative comment), there is an equal and opposite reaction, until a parent steps in and breaks it up. 4. Laundry spontaneously tends to flow from being concentrated within one location to becoming diffused or dispersed to various regions of the house. 5. The increase in the amount of activities on the family calendar is equal to the tension and friction added to the system, minus the communication achieved within the system.

Talk about theories of relativity! Family relationships require a great deal of energy, without a doubt. But our goal as mothers is not to create a utopia with seamless interactions and continual bliss in the home. Our goal is to delight in the family God has given us and work through family challenges in positive ways. Then our homes can be havens where family members find encouragement and strength to become all that God has created them to be.

As moms, we are the ones who tend to set the tone for our homes. Now wait a minute, you may be thinking. We're only human! We struggle with feelings, emotions, fatigue, and stress, just like the rest of our family members. That's true. But like it or not, we have a high calling: to influence and maintain the positive atmosphere in our homes. That's part of our role as mothers. I guess you could say we are the "Positive Attitude Coordinators."

Solomon put it this way: "A wise woman strengthens her family, but a foolish woman destroys hers by what she does." The fact is our words, actions, and attitudes permeate our homes and have a profound effect upon our families. We can choose to be refreshing delights, or we can choose to be contentious complainers. I don't know about you, but I would rather build my home with delight than destroy it with discouragement. At least that's my intention. It's not easy! The road to delight takes determination. Won't you join me as we begin to step in the right direction?

Our Unique Road to Delight

Do you ever look at other families and secretly think to yourself, How do they do it? They always love and support one another. Their kids are high achievers and stellar students. They seem to do everything well, and do it with a smile. As you watch them, little feelings of jealousy, envy, or guilt creep in and begin destroying your confidence as a mom. Been there?

Then there are those families that make you shake your head and think to yourself, I can't believe the way they parent their kids. I would never do what they are doing. Tiny tidbits of pride begin to seep in as you secretly thank God that your family is not like them. Been there?

Comparisons and assumptions are common to all of us. It makes sense to try to gauge our success by looking at others and observing how they do things. Businesses do it; athletes do it; even churches do it. We all tend to compare our success (or failure) by the meter and measure of others. But that's not how it should be between families.

Although it goes against our natural grain, we must redirect our thinking away from comparisons with other families. On the road to delight, we need to picture a big sign that says, "Thou shalt not compare." God has given each family a different mix of people and personalities. No two families are exactly the same.

Recently I heard a story about identical twin sisters who married identical twin brothers. (The two sets of twins met at a twins convention, of all places!) At the time of the story, the couples lived next door to each other. With two sets of identical parents, you would think that their families would be, well, identical. They're not. In fact, their families are very different. They have different looks and different personalities, different interests and different talents. They are involved in different activities, and the two sets of parents discipline their children in different ways.

Now if two sets of identical twin parents do not have identical families, then why in the world would we think there is a family out there with whom we can compare ours? Each family (yours, mine, and others) is a unique blend of personalities, abilities, talents, handicaps, and idiosyncrasies. As parents, we bring into our families a variety of backgrounds, work ethics, political persuasions, and religious beliefs.

One of the greatest joys we can experience in motherhood is to delight in our God-given families without comparing them with others. Let's throw away the assumption that other families have it all together (or are a mess, for that matter). We don't know what goes on inside their homes. What we do know is that God has...