How It Began

An Introduction

Like many of us, I already spend a few weekends a year retreating: family retreats, all-church retreats, small group retreats, women's retreats, and marriage retreats. By definition, a retreat offers time to come away from the day-to-day demands and focus on our relationship with God.

Common themes usually include singing, plentiful (and sometimes good) food, inspiring messages, and lots of people. Retreats provide great opportunities for strengthening relationships, renewing vision, and letting someone else cook for a change. Usually we return home feeling encouraged, energized, and probably in need of some sleep.

Now, I love the girlfriend time at the retreats, the laughing, the skits and snacks, and the teachings. Some women freely admit to really not caring who is teaching; they just like leaving home. But while most of my weekend experiences enriched my relationships with my family and friends, time alone with God at these events often seemed minimal and tacked on at the beginning or end of a long day. In spite of all the fun and great camaraderie, I often still felt in need of a retreat.

In the early years of our young church, I attended one of these large group retreats at a local convent. While browsing the book area, I picked up a brochure for the facility and noticed "Private retreats available" listed among the amenities. Right away I was intrigued, but I was unsure what a "private" retreat would be. The idea suggested an unhurried time to pray, read, and just enjoy being with God at my own pace.

I was ready to sign up, but I felt clueless about how to spend twenty-four hours without a retreat schedule in hand. So I stuck the brochure in my bag and took it home.

A few months later, while seeking God about the direction of my life and not hearing much back, I pulled out the brochure. Immediately, myriad questions flooded my mind:

If I do this, will I just pray the whole time?

Should I fast?

What does it mean to "wait on God"?

What if I get bored?

How spiritual do I have to be to try this?

Then the possibilities began to emerge — time alone, time to really seek God, a chance to finish that Bible study I started at the beginning of the year, an opportunity to sort out the next season of my life. Way too much agenda for one retreat. I called the facility and made a reservation.

For the next nearly thirty-five years I went back once or twice a year. First to that convent until it was torn down for a housing development. Then other places. Some years I went to a bed-and-breakfast; other times, to a friend's empty-during-the-day apartment. The "where" wasn't as important as just showing up to hang out with Jesus.

Time after time, year after year, I came away filled with a renewed sense of purpose, clarity of vision, trust in God's ability to untie all the knots of my life, and an overwhelming sense of being loved. Can you see why I kept making the reservation? Part 1 of this book tells you step-by-step how to design and experience your own short retreat so you can enjoy similar benefits.

Fast-forward to six months into my sixtieth year. I wondered how God viewed my life so far. I still anticipated the full actualization of all his plans for me, but life was moving fast, and I yearned for an opportunity to take a long look at where I had been and where I was headed.

My journals of the previous few years reflected common transitions in this season of life: the launching of children, family weddings, the death of a parent, some dreams realized and others laid to rest. The journals contained my angst about stuck points in my life and my wonderings about what was next.

I longed for a chance to identify themes in my life's journey as well as plan for what I hope will be several more decades of service to God's kingdom and deep enjoyment of life. But that process never seemed to fit into a Sunday afternoon. Turns out I didn't have to cram it into a few hours as God invited me to spend five luscious days away with him for some of the most transformative moments of my life. But now I'm getting ahead of myself ...

The Basics

Answering Your Questions

Clutching my overstuffed suitcase in one hand while balancing my purse and additional "just in case I have time" bag in the other, I managed to wrest a hand free to ring the bell of a large retreat facility near my home. The year was 1977, and I was on the doorstep of my first personal retreat, carrying plenty of excitement, a bit of anxiety, and way too much stuff.

In the early evening, I had driven about thirty minutes to the same convent where my church had its retreat. This time, though, instead of heading to the group area, the nuns directed me to their newly renovated wing set aside specifically for personal retreats. This section contained nine small rooms, each furnished with a bed covered with a colorful spread, a small desk and chair, another comfy chair for sitting, plenty of light, and a sink. Decorative touches and new carpeting added to the inviting atmosphere. Down the hall was a lounge area set up like a large living room, and a common bathroom.

I have always enjoyed having some lovely personal space, and this fit the bill perfectly. The sister who led me to my room invited me to walk the grounds, visit the chapel, and help myself to tea and cookies in the basement snack room anytime. I did all the above.

I arrived after dinner (no fasting) but planned on eating breakfast and lunch the next day with any other retreatants in the private dining room. Turns out I was the only one there. When I showed up for breakfast, a plate of hot, delicious food awaited me along with a pot of hot water for my tea. I saw no one come or go, so it was like the angels had dropped off the provisions.

I spent the rest of the morning praying, reading, journaling, and walking through the beautiful grounds in the back among apple trees and grapevines. I was surprised but delighted to see that the same angels had dropped off my lunch, as once again I saw no one else around. After lunch I took a nap and then another walk. I spent the last hour of my first retreat reflecting on my...