RESTLESS ABOUT GOD

I don't need to close my eyes to remember.

So many names, faces, conversations — people I met in forty-plus years of pastoral ministry. People who sat in my office, or talked to me in the lobby after a morning service, or phoned me at home to pour out restless hearts. Saint Augustine, the fourth-century theologian and philosopher said it well: "Our hearts are restless, O Lord, until they find rest in Thee."

Early in my office one evening a young university professor visited me. Not yet thirty, Allan held a string of degrees and had traveled the fast track to a position at the University of Washington. He and his wife had recently married and both qualified as young intellectual giants. Their future looked bright, except for one problem.

Restlessness.

"We've been attending your church lately, but I'm not sure exactly why," Allan said. "I guess you could say we've been searching for something beyond ourselves, but we don't know what that is, or even how to articulate what we're looking for. We just know there's got to be something beyond what we have now."

I responded, "It sounds like you're looking for God. You want to discover God for yourselves, is that it?"

"Maybe," he said. "But I doubt if he can be known. If God exists, then he must be beyond size, intelligence, or goodness. Surely it's beyond the capacity of human minds to understand him."

Many people have the same kinds of doubts.

People like Clarice and Brandon, parents of young children. I met this couple at their house for coffee after they tucked the children into bed. Brandon worked at a secure job as an engineer at Boeing. Clarice lived her dream as a stay-at-home mom. Busy and tired, they keenly focused on organizing their lives around soccer and suburban living, their work and house, trips to the grocery store and vacations to visit grandparents. They lived the American dream. However, they couldn't enjoy life for fear it would fall apart. They worried the good life might not last.

"I'm so anxious all the time," Clarice said. "It's like we're working so hard to build this kingdom of home and family. But I'm always worried the other shoe is going to drop. Like something bad is going to happen. I just know it. If God is out there, does he really interact with us? Does he really care?"

Did you catch the word kingdom? File that word away for later.

I remember Katie, an intelligent and capable young woman who couldn't fathom why a good God could allow so much suffering in the world. She wanted results. She insisted on a God w