CHAPTER 1

Images of My Spiritual Self

On the last day of my spiritual direction training program, we gathered togetherin a circle to "show and tell." Each of us had brought an image or an icon thatrepresented how we saw ourselves as spiritual directors, as we imagined goingforward into our new vocation. One woman brought a puppet shaped like a turtle:it represented both the interior and exterior life. A man brought a photographof an important mentor/teacher. I brought a doll-sized chair, which I hadpainted and decorated with small charms. This chair represented my listeningself. No icon, words, or pictures can capture all of our identity, but they canbegin to tell a story, to highlight an important aspect of who we are, and whowe want to be.

When asked to draw an image of your spiritual self, what would you draw? Whenasked to describe your spiritual self in words, what would you say? Images maycome to mind that are suffused with color and texture. A memory of kneeling inchurch, or hiking though the woods, or sitting with a dying loved one may fillour minds and open our hearts. These experiences of spirit that infuse one'sspiritual identity may or may not be related to the practice of religion, forour spiritual identity is partly composed of, yet much more than, our faithtradition, just as God is part of, yet much more than, any religious practice.Our spiritual identity is as unique as any other part of us, from ourfingerprints to our way of living in the world. How would you describe theunique spirit that is you?

Reflection

Because this is a book on writing as a spiritual practice, these exercises askyou to describe yourself today in words, rather than other mediums. Begin tothink about the images that spring to mind when you talk or write or think aboutwho you are as a spiritual person.

• Do you picture yourself in a specific setting?

• Which emotions, rituals, or states of mind do you associate with your spiritualself?

• How does thinking about who you are, and how you are spiritually, summon up aparticular attitude or framework for approaching your daily life?

• From there, begin to explore the feelings and assumptions attached to theseimages and states of mind or being. What are the emotions that color who you arespiritually?

• How do your usual thoughts or feelings about yourself change when you focus onwho you are spiritually?

Pen in Hand

Take some time to sketch in words or phrases, the images and descriptions thatcome to mind when you think about your spiritual self. These may be states ofbeing such as grateful, obedient, restless; they may include descriptions likefluid, wellspring, open, seeking; or they may be emotions like fearful, eager,grateful. Write as many of these words and phrases down on a page as you can.

Don't worry about order or structure. Try to keep going past where you think youshould or must stop—beyond the point where you think you are "done." See whatarises. Sometimes the most honest and startling answers show up when we push abit past our own limits.

Noticing

• How did it feel to write this list?

• Which words or phrases were more interesting to you than others?

• Which words or images, if any, were disconcerting?

• Think about or write about how you feel now, after doing this exercise.

On the Path

If a starting point or a direction has emerged from your list of words andimages, use it as a way into this next exercise. Using that starting point,write more thoroughly about your spiritual self for fifteen minutes. If you findthat you have said all that you can say before the time is up, try to write alittle more. If you then feel that you have reached a final stopping point andyour fifteen minutes aren't up, then write about the process itself until thetime is up.

If you don't sense a natural starting point or direction, try using thesuggested launching points below. Choose any that apply, or...