Stress-Free Potty Training: A Commonsense Guide to Finding the Right Approach for Your Child - Softcover

Über die Autorinnen und Autoren

SARA AU is a mom and a journalist specializing in parenting and health issues.

PETER L. STAVINOHA, PH.D., is a dad and a pediatric neuropsychologist in the Center for Pediatric Psychiatry at Children's Medical Center of Dallas and Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center. Together, they are the authors of the popular book Stress-Free Potty Training.

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“Rather than taking a ‘one size fits all’ approach to potty training, the authors recognize the importance of navigating this milestone with the best tools to fit each child’s individual temperament.”

— Kristy S. Hagar, Ph.D., clinical child psychologist and co-author of Seven Steps to Help Your Child Worry Less

“A guide to potty training that can lead to better parenting? By exploring dominant personality traits and encouraging parents to understand their own goals and desires, the authors of Stress-Free Potty Training teach parents the art of becoming better problem solvers and advocates for their children.”

— Jackie Carroll, founder of the Orlando Adoption Network; adoption advocate and parent of five

Filled with straight talk and practical advice, the second edition of Stress-Free Potty Training takes the anxiety out of this important life transition, helping you identify what approach will be most compatible with your child’s temperament. Starting with a simple quiz, the book provides easy techniques tailor-fit for all kinds of kids, whether they’re stubborn or willful, clinging to diapers, afraid to move on, or just late bloomers. The book shows you how to:

Determine your child’s readiness to begin potty training • Build on each success by gradually moving your child past his or her existing comfort zone (without adding undue pressure) • Be a positive potty role model • Handle accidents and temporary setbacks • And more

Fully revised, the second edition includes brand new “Universal Strategies” . . . updated techniques for overcoming the common challenges and obstacles you’re likely to face with your child . . . ways to utilize the latest apps and websites that can be helpful during training . . . pitfalls to avoid on social media . . . and up-to-the-minute guidance on how to deal with interruptions and problems throughout the process.

This encouraging and practical guide helps you design a path around your own child’s needs, allowing you to say goodbye to diapers . . . with as little stress as possible.

PETER L. STAVINOHA, Ph.D., is a dad and a pediatric neuropsychologist at the Center for Pediatric Psychiatry at Children’s Medical Center of Dallas, and Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center. He is a regular media contributor for magazines and television, offering expert parenting advice on common issues facing children and families. He lives in Dallas.

SARA AU is a mom and a journalist specializing in parenting and health issues. She lives in Orlando, Florida.

Together, they are the authors of Stress-Free Discipline.

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Introduction and Philosophy

If someone came to you one day and said you couldn’t use a toilet anymore,

that you had to use this newfangled thing that was nearly as big as

you are and made loud, scary noises! You’d probably be a little confused

and intimidated.

Does this perspective give you some idea of what your child is

about to experience? Good! That’s what this book is all about: Helping

parents view things from a child’s point of view. Potty training should be

stress free for parents, and (as much as possible) for kids, too! Stressing

about this major milestone will only harm the process, bog it down, and

eventually, derail it. So, in keeping it stress free, you are doing what’s best

for your son or daughter.

You—being the conscientious parent that you are—want to go about

potty training in a careful, thoughtful way that considers your child’s individual

needs. You know this is a big step and you want to make it as

easy and comfortable for your “baby” as possible. You’ve probably heard

horror stories from other parents and want to avoid getting into those

kinds of situations yourself. In short, you want to do right by your child.

Our Philosophy

Our methods are not tricks we guarantee will work in a prescribed

amount of time. Nor do we give you step-by-step directions that if followed

result in absolute certain success. Parents do not control this process,

nor do we really control any process with our children. That might

sound shocking, but get used to the idea that you are not really in charge

here. Our philosophy is that as parents we can manage and influence the

training, but that children themselves control it. They have their own natural

pace at which they will learn to use the toilet. Through thoughtful

planning and effective communication with your unique child, you are

setting the stage for your child to own the process and be successful at it.

If you’re like many parents, you may feel overwhelmed at the

thought of starting to potty train. Unlike riding a bike, you probably have

no memories of learning bathroom skills as a child, so how can you teach

them to your son or daughter? To boot, others (maybe your mother- or

sister-in-law, or that oh-so-helpful neighbor . . .) are often watching over

your shoulder, which can leave you anxious and unsure in your abilities

to handle this fundamental parenting task.

You’re not sure about the hype of those train-in-one-day programs,

but on the other hand, can’t imagine doing nothing until your child decides

to do train on his own. After all, he has no trouble walking around

in a wet or dirty diaper for hours. What all this tells you, is that you can’t

start by planning on the exact amount of time it is going to take to train!

(Talk about setting yourself up for failure.) Every child potty trains differently;

besides, even those one-day methods take a great deal more days

in preparation.

We believe toileting proficiency is one of the most important skills

you’ll teach your child, fundamental to personal hygiene, health, even

social relationships for the rest of his/her life. Being comfortable with

one’s own body starts with this first foray into being responsible for oneself.

So, you don’t want to rush in headlong without a thoughtful plan. We

recognize, of course, that you don’t want to dilly dally either. You want

to instruct your child in the most insightful, caring way possible, and to

do that you must take his or her individual personality into account.

But where to begin? You don’t want to miss your window of opportunity

with your toddler, but you don’t want to force the issue too

early and short-circuit the whole process either.

Welcome to the real world of parenting, where there’s no magical

solution to any tough issue, just advice from experts and veteran parents,

a multitude of proven strategies and tons of moral support, and of course,

your own instincts and knowledge of your child—the most important

ingredient.

In fact, you already have the knowledge you need to help your toddler

potty train; you just may need to be pointed in the right direction.

You know your child best. You know everything about him. You know

his likes and dislikes, what motivates him most, and the signs he’s reached

his breaking point. For example:

You know if you get him up and out the door before 9 a.m. he’ll be

in a great mood all morning, but if you dally and miss the window of

opportunity, he’ll become cranky an hour before his regular naptime.

You know it takes her a good 15 minutes to warm up to anyone besides

you and your spouse, even her beloved grandparents.

You know how to say “no” in many different ways, because if you just

came out and said it flatly, he’d double his efforts to do whatever is off

limits.

You know she’ll be climbing on top of your childless friend’s brandnew

glass coffee table before your visit is over.

You know he’ll copy anything his 5-year-old cousin does.

You already know this and much more about your...