Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers: The People Skills You Need to Achieve Outstanding Results - Softcover

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ANTHONY MERSINO, PMP, PMI-ACP has more than 26 years of project management experience. He has trained and consulted on Project Leadership and Agile methods for a wide variety of clients.

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Praise for the first edition of Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers:

“A well-structured, easy read that delivers results . . . a worthy investment, particularly for aspiring or current project management professionals.” — PM World Today magazine

“It’s the book I wished I’d written. If you don’t own a copy, go out and get one.”— Elizabeth Harrin, pm4girls.com

Without good people management skills, even the most carefully planned project can fall apart in a flash. And managing people effectively means more than just keeping them in line: It means using finely tuned interpersonal skills and astutely reading emotional cues to get the job done right and on time.

According to the latest research, an astounding 70 to 80 percent of management success rests on this kind of “emotional intelligence” (EQ). Even if you already recognize the important role of EQ in the workplace, this book will help you take your understanding to the next level. Real-world examples of EQ in action, as well as checklists, self-assessments, and worksheets, will guide you through the process of building real rapport with your team. You’ll learn how to:

Establish the kind of high-energy approach that attracts top performers • Develop empathetic listening skills • Encourage flexibility and collaboration among team members • Deal productively with change, blame, stress, and criticism • Leverage emotional information to make better decisions

The second edition of this indispensable guide provides new tips on using EQ to lead and coach Agile Teams, and explores the concept of Servant Leadership, which enhances productivity by promoting emotional connection with your staff. Also included in this edition are expanded sections on self-awareness, self-management, and self-care, because before you can build and lead a winning team, you need to understand and nurture yourself.

The keen insights and practical tools you’ll find here will help you transform your results from “good enough” to “beyond expectations”—all by improving your ability to read between the emotional lines. Improve your EQ and you’ll soon be getting the best work out of everyone involved—including yourself.

ANTHONY MERSINO, PMP, PMI-ACP is an Agile Transformation Coach and IT Program Manager with more than 27 years of experience. He has delivered large-scale business solutions to clients that include Abbot Labs, IBM, Unisys, ARAMARK, and Wolters Kluwer, and provided Enterprise Agile Coaching for The Carlyle Group, Bank of America, Hayneedle, and Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Dakota.

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Chapter 1 My Growth in Emotional Intelligence A Dangerous Situation "Do you have any idea how dangerous it is not to be in touch with your feelings?" This question was posed to me in the summer of 2001 by Rich, a therapist who has since become my career coach and mentor. His words stopped me in my tracks. Dangerous? That was a curious word choice. What could be dangerous about not being in touch with my feelings? I was thirty-nine years old and had been a successful project manager (PM) for over seventeen years. I had a record of slow but steady career progression. I had been certified as a Project Management Professional (PMP) since 1995. I owned my own project management consulting business and lived, taught, and even breathed project management. No one had ever asked me about feelings before. No one had ever mentioned that there might be danger involved. What could be dangerous? What was so important about feelings? Rich's question resonated with me, but I wasn't sure why. It didn't feel dangerous to be out of touch with my emotions. However, I had a nagging sense that he saw or knew things that I didn't. On some level I recognized that the way I approached work wasn't always effective. Hard work did not always make the difference in the outcomes of the projects I managed. I wondered how others seemed to succeed with less effort. I also felt insecure about the lack of personal and professional relationships I had built, and I suspected that it was hurting me. As much as I wanted to deny that my career and relationship challenges might be related to my emotions, I began to sus-pect that Rich might be right. The truth was that I wasn't aware of my feelings or emotions. I was about as emotionally aware as a small green soap dish. If I could have taken an emotional intelligence test at that time, I would have been considered the village idiot. With Rich's help, I began to see a connection between my lack of emotional awareness and my limited success in project management. Up to that point, my project management career had been a bumpy road. While not quite a dead end street, my career path hadn't exactly taken a superhighway either. Lately that road didn't seem to be taking me anywhere. I had recently been passed over for a key promotion at Unisys. My career ladder had literally run out of rungs. Perhaps I had been promoted to my level of incompetence and was therefore living proof of the Peter Principle. Eventually I found I could no longer ignore Rich's question about the danger, and I decided to do something about it. I knew I needed to make some changes. I was ready to make more of an investment in my emotions and relationships. Initially, it wasn't for personal reasons. It was all about ROI, my return on investment for improving my emotional intelligence. I believed that my career would benefit from it. And after spending most of the last five years working on my emotional intelligence, I am happy to report that my career has benefited significantly. As I grew, I learned how my work relationships reflected my world view. Until then, my relationships with my project teams and other stakeholders were weak or nonexistent. That was largely the result of my project management style as a taskmaster. I was all business. Unfortunately, I placed a higher value on tasks, productivity, and outcomes than on relationships. I lacked empathy. I had a way of driving the people on my project teams that was hostile and irresponsible. My coworkers may have called me driven, but they would never have characterized me as a warm and fuzzy relationship person. At best people warmed up to me over time. My big shift came when I began to recognize the value of emotions and relationships in the workplace. I became aware of feelings and learned to trust them as a source of information. I learned to recognize and acknowledge when I felt angry, scared, or happy. I also began to pay attention to what those around me were feeling and to consider that inf