Positive Discipline: The First Three Years, Revised and Updated Edition: From Infant to Toddler--Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident - Softcover

Buch 14 von 16: Positive Discipline

Nelsen Ed.D., Jane; Erwin MA, Cheryl; Duffy, Roslyn Ann

 
9780804141185: Positive Discipline: The First Three Years, Revised and Updated Edition: From Infant to Toddler--Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident
Softcover
ISBN 10: 0804141185 ISBN 13: 9780804141185
Verlag: Harmony/Rodale/Convergent, 2015

Inhaltsangabe

The celebrated Positive Discipline brand of parenting books presents the revised and updated third edition of their readable and practical guide to communicating boundaries to very young children and solving early discipline problems to set children up for success.

Over the years millions of parents have used the amazingly effective strategies of Positive Discipline to raise happy, well-behaved, and successful children. Research has shown that the first three years in a child's life are a critical moment in their development, and that behavior patterns instilled during that time can have profound implications for the rest of a child's life. Hundreds of thousands of parents have already used the advice in Positive Discipline: The First Three Years to help set effective boundaries, forge strong foundations for healthy communication, and lay the groundwork for happy and respectful relationships with their young children. Now this classic title has been revised and updated to reflect the latest neuroscientific research and developments in positive discipline parenting techniques.

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

JANE NELSON, Ed.D., coauthor of the bestselling Positive Discipline series, is a licensed marriage, family, and child therapist and an internationally known speaker. Her books have sold over 1.25 million copies. CHERYL ERWIN, M.A., is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Reno, Nevada, and is the author or coauthor of nine books on parenting and family life. She is a popular speaker, trainer, and parenting radio personality, and is married and has a 22-year-old son. ROSLYN ANN DUFFY founded and codirected the Learning Tree Montessori Childcare, and has written adult and children's texts, as well as the internationally circulated column "From a Parent's Perspective." She lectures and trains in numerous cultures, is a parent to four and besotted Grandma to three, and lives and practices counseling in Seattle, WA.

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1

Welcoming Baby

What You Need to Know in the First Few Months

The birth of a baby is a momentous occasion, a landmark event never forgotten by those who have experienced it. A new parent may be shocked by the news that a baby is on the way, or thrilled that the days of pregnancy tests and “trying” are finally over. Either way, there is no ignoring this ­life-­changing bit of news. Your life as an independent, spontaneous person will change: Baby is on the way.

Most adults find that adding an infant to the family, no matter how anticipated and dearly loved that infant may be, brings changes that take some getting used to. Adult relationships must flex and adapt, making room for the new addition. Schedules and priorities change, as does Mom’s body. Babies can be perplexing little people, operating by rules known only to ­them—­and each comes with his own unique set of rules. Some parents are blessed with an “easy” first baby, and are then shocked and mystified when their second baby is not so easy. Others begin with a “challenging” baby, and are pleasantly surprised when their second baby is “easier.”

The first few months of your new ­baby’s life may be exhausting, exhilarating, and challenging, all at once. It may be hard to believe, but one day you will look back at these demanding days and sleepless nights with nostalgia and realize your child grew up much too fast. But for now, those musings lie far in the future.

Setting the Stage for Baby

Close your eyes for just a moment and think back to the first time you saw your newborn’s face. She may have been red, bald, and wrinkled, but chances are you felt you’d never seen anything more beautiful, or heard anything sweeter than her first cries. Writers and painters have tried to capture the magic of those first moments of life, but words and pictures are rarely powerful enough to convey what happens between parent and child.

For most parents, the months leading up to that miraculous moment of birth are filled with plans, dreams, and a few worries. In reflective moments, you probably wondered whether you would be a good parent, whether you’d know what to do, whether the baby would be “all right.” Expectant parents talk endlessly about the relative merits of cloth and disposable diapers, of nursing and formula feeding, of ­store-­bought and homemade baby food. They discuss names for hours, saying them aloud to see how they fit.

New parents buy and are given impossibly tiny garments and mysterious articles with odd names like “receiving blanket.” They wonder if they’ll somehow know what to do with them (both the babies and the blankets) when the time comes. They purchase and ponder over the fascinating gadgetry of babyhood: car seats, carriers, cribs, pacifiers, bottles, breast pumps, and monitors. The grandparents “tsk, tsk” as they point out that millions of children were raised without all these fancy gadgets, or they rush out to buy even more dazzling ones. In this age of consumerism, with so many adorable clothes and such tempting equipment available, who can possibly resist? This is a time for endless dreaming, a time for hope and wonder.

Fantasy Versus Reality

Sometimes, though, when you carry that helpless little bundle of humanity home from the hospital, the dreams fade a bit in the harsh light of reality. The baby cries, sometimes for hours, and it’s up to you to figure out why. Or the little darling sleeps all day then gurgles happily all night, much to the dismay of his ­sleep-­deprived parents. Babies seem to be born with a detector that lets them know when Mom wants to eat, so they can interrupt with a need of their own. The baby spits up when you’re dressed to go out, may have several bowel movements in a single night, and sometimes cries angrily when handed to eager relatives.

From those first moments, parenting young children can become an avalanche of questions, anxieties, and frustrations, as well as an incredible source of love and joy. As that precious baby grows, develops, and changes, life can become a seemingly endless stream of challenging decisions and new ideas to be tested.

As your child grows, people in public places may smile knowingly or talk about the “terrible twos.” Many parents feel completely at the mercy of the adorable little tyrant their baby or toddler has become, while others seem confident and at ease handling meltdowns or constant interruptions.

How Will I Know What to Do?

Most of us learn parenting skills from our parents or by trial and error. You may not like the way you were raised and vow to be different from your own parents, or you see others raising children and disagree with their choices. (Judging the parenting choices of others has become an international pastime.) But what should you do instead? You don’t want to be too strict, but is permissiveness the only alternative? You don’t want to be overly ­controlling—­but how do you create order and consistency? You may worry that your mistakes will have too high a cost.

You have so many questions: Do I spank my child or not? If spanking is okay, how soon should I start? How do I communicate with an infant who ­doesn’t understand words? How do I get my child to listen? How do I handle a defiant toddler? How do I decide ­what’s ­really important? How can I help my child develop a sense of ­self-­worth, while teaching her responsibility, honesty, and kindness? How do I take care of myself so I can relax and enjoy this experience?

Advice is in plentiful ­supply—­grandparents, uncles, and aunts (and the lady behind you in line at the grocery store) will have lots of ­it—­but whose advice is right? Even the “experts” disagree. Some suggest punishment (even in the poorly disguised form of logical consequences), while others (including the authors and the latest brain research) suggest that punishment is not effective. Some claim rewards are important. Others (including the authors and many researchers) believe rewards teach manipulation and a reduced sense of ­self-­worth instead of valuable social and life skills. It is our hope as authors, and as parents, that you will find answers in this book that will make sense to you, as well as clues to help you use your own wisdom, creativity, and knowledge of your child to go beyond what can be written in words.

This book is designed to be of use to both parents and their frequent partners in child rearing: childcare teachers, nannies, sitters, and relatives. Examples of home and childcare situations will be given throughout this book to show how the principles of Positive Discipline can be applied to all aspects of a young child’s life. Developmental information and research will be included wherever appropriate, along with information about the way babies and young children grow and learn. Because it can be immensely helpful for all the adults who influence a child’s life to have the same understanding about how to raise him, you may want to share this book with the staff at your childcare center, your babysitter, or other members of your family.

Your Family Is Your Family

All families, like all children, are different. Not all babies are born into ­two-­parent families with a home in the suburbs, two cars, and a family dog. Your family may indeed look like that, or it may take a different shape altogether. You may be a single parent, through divorce or death or because you never married; you and your partner may have brought children from previous relationships, and added those you have had together; you may have...

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Verlag
Harmony/Rodale/Convergent
Erscheinungsdatum
2015
Sprache
Englisch
ISBN 10 
0804141185
ISBN 13 
9780804141185
Einband
Taschenbuch
Anzahl der Seiten
368
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Verantwortliche Person
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