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When life is HARD

Moody Publishers

Contents

Foreword.............................................................................................................7Introduction: In the Middle of a Category 5 Hurricane................................................................9How to Get the Most from This Book...................................................................................151. What Are Trials?..................................................................................................232. Why Trials?.......................................................................................................473. What to Do with Trials............................................................................................754. What If I Refuse This Trial?......................................................................................995. Why Some Trials Never End.........................................................................................1236. Come Forth as Gold................................................................................................149PRINCIPLE 1: Every trial I face is allowed by God for my ultimate good...............................................153PRINCIPLE 2: Trials need not steal my joy............................................................................163PRINCIPLE 3: God is never more present than when His children are suffering..........................................173PRINCIPLE 4: Until I embrace my trial in unwavering submission to God, I will not reap the good......................183Epilogue: This Trial Could Be the Best Thing That's Ever Happened to You.............................................197Notes................................................................................................................201Acknowledgments......................................................................................................203

Chapter One

I enjoyed athletics from my youngest days and played competitive basketball into my late thirties. Other than bumps, bruises, and sprains, I can't remember health problems of any kind. In my forties, yearly visits to Mayo Clinic were simply routine. At the end of my regular checkup in the fall of 2008 the doctor added these words:

"Your PSA (prostate-specific antigen) count has gone up again."

A review of the past four years revealed a pattern that finally got someone's attention. My count had gone from 1.3 to 1.8 to 2.2, then 2.7 and now was 3.1. Counts do fluctuate in men my age, but healthy men tend to have very low PSA counts. The regularity of this pattern had seemed significant to me, and I remember wishing the doctor had made a bigger deal about these counts earlier. But I also knew that PSA counts aren't always related to cancer, but can indicate other, less ominous health issues like enlarged prostate.

My doctor was now saying, "This is a problem, we've got to check it out further."

That meant scheduling a prostate biopsy. The experience was somewhere between a punch in the face and dental work without Novocain. Having a robotic pincer shoot through the wall of the large intestine to collect dozens of tiny specimens of the prostate produces an experience of core-pain unlike any other. I kept hoping that the level of discomfort I was going through was an indication of the accuracy of the test.

Days later, I was taking a taxi home from the airport when I remembered I hadn't called to get the results from my test. Just another matter on my to-do list, I thought as I called the urologist.

I reached him by phone, and with few preliminaries he said, "You've got cancer."

Such a small statement with such large effects-life-altering. In retrospect, I think many of us actually live expecting "the other shoe to fall" at some point. We realize at some level that we are not exempt from potential disaster, and we tend not to wonder if but when and how our number is going to come up. Those of us who know we are on the fallen world merry-go-round know that we won't get through life without some turns in the difficulty spotlight. But when the switch is thrown and the blinding light of a diagnosis like cancer hits us, the next moments are surreal.

There I was, alone (the taxi driver didn't need to hear my announcement), speechless (I immediately found myself thinking, Can this be happening to me?), and dumbfounded (What do I do now?).

When I arrived at home, I was still alone. The kids were away and Kathy was visiting family in Canada. The other realities in my life clamored for attention. I had to prepare a message and be ready to deliver it. I concentrated on that immediate task. But I don't remember the topic of that sermon.

After church, I met with my kids who were in town and brought them up to date. It was hard to tell them, but I felt I needed to keep them informed. We prayed together, and I listened to my children trying to put their shock and trust into words before God. Kathy arrived shortly and I told her-I had not wanted to share news like that over the phone if I could help it. Then I got on Skype and talked to my daughter Abby, who was away at college, and let her know what was happening in her dad's life. Those were difficult moments for both of us.

Once my immediate family had the information, the news began to ripple through the congregation. Suddenly, twelve thousand of my best friends were responding, calling, and praying. Their desire to care for me was both comforting and yet also an added burden.

I began to look at treatment options (mentioned in the introduction). I learned the cure rate with radiation treatments is almost the same as the cure rate with surgical intervention, without surgery's significant risks. I looked into various kinds of radiation and eventually chose proton-radiation therapy. This is cutting-edge technology that is still not widely available (which explains our journey to California). By God's grace our insurance covered this method of treatment and the next phase of dealing with this challenge began.

As a subtext (and perhaps a central lesson) in this episode, all these events happened in the weeks leading up to a planned trip to Israel. This was to be Kathy's and my first time in the Holy Land. The medical people advised me that the treatments for cancer could certainly wait long enough to enjoy a true trip of a lifetime.

Our intimate group of 170 friends walked and worshiped together in the places where Jesus spent most of His time. I was reminded over and over that God's plans were far greater than my immediate problems. That week in Israel allowed me to get in touch with Jesus' power to heal and sense His presence in an intimate way that built my faith for the months to come.

I discovered I had cancer in October. By the end of December, arrangements had been made for treatments in California. The study and sermons that led to this book began to take shape and an opportunity opened for me to preach in Pastor Greg Laurie's church near my treatment facility. If these lessons seem fresh, they are. I'm learning them and confirming them day by day in my own life.

RECOGNIZING TRIALS

As we lay a foundation for our study, let's establish some facts that you've just got to know about trials.

In the New...