CHAPTER 1

MY STORY:A NEW ROAD

AN EMPTY HOUSE, A STUFFED U-Haul, and exhaustfumes on the rise signaled the time to leave. Four-year-oldAustin and six-year-old Natalie, eager to ride with their dadfor the five-hundred-mile trip, left me in peaceful solitude innay own car. My week flashed back—crumpled newspapers,labeled boxes, and please-don't-leave hugs. As we ascended theramp onto Interstate 20, leaving Dallas in my rearview mirror,I visualized God taking us in a new direction, on a new road,to a new life—in Hattiesburg, Mississippi.

After an hour of driving, the Christian radio stationfaded. Now alone with my thoughts, I relived memories fromthe last eight years: three houses remodeled while living inthem (marriage still intact), hunting for antiques in thosesmothering barns in Forney, and hilarious moments at SupperClub. A difficult pregnancy turned to joy when a daughterarrived. Two years later, a son. Those tender years glued ustogether as a family, and we grew. Snapshots etched in mymind reveal a snowman and two frozen-cheeked toddlers,a blow-up swimming pool and dancing in the sprinklers.We'll always remember the Texas State Fair, Bagelsteins, theMesquite Rodeo, and of course, America's Team and ours, theDallas Cowboys. Friends gathered every Fourth of July for all-you-campedshrimp and homemade Butterfinger ice cream.Leaving Dawna, my let's-get-together friend, tugged at myresolve. Together we had trudged through newlywed confusionand newborn exhaustion. That chapter now closed.

The blessings in Texas would have made it easy to stay, butnew opportunities waited for us in Mississippi. God's provenfaithfulness assured me of special things ahead. Fear of thefuture would not rule the day. High hopes carried me to mydestination.

We bought a seventy-year-old house, already remodeledby the previous owner and surrounded by trees—big, talltrees. We made new friends, joined a dynamic church, and gotbusy with life.

A year went by. Nothing terrible happened, but a growingsense of disappointment loomed over me. It was not a mid-lifecrisis at thirty-five, but rather unfilfilled expectations. I wasnot where I wanted to be in my life. I made known to God myfrustration and waited for His reply.

About that time, four new friends invited me to gowith them to a Christian conference at Precept Ministriesin Chattanooga, Tennessee, six hours away. If nothing else, Ineeded a break from the Mom routine, and I knew I wouldenjoy the fellowship. It's strange to me now that I look backon this conference as a turning point in my life.

One morning, while singing songs, the worship leadersaw someone she knew in the audience and called her to thefront spontaneously. With giddy enthusiasm the song leaderasked her friend to share some Scripture with this group ofabout 300. Without hesitation, this unnamed woman recitedfrom memory the entire book of Colossians. Awe-inspiring!I sat in my chair mesmerized by what I had just heard. Thewheels turned in my mind. I wondered what it would belike to really know God's Word, to have it so embedded inmy heart and mind that I would carry it with me wherever Iwould go. What would it mean to my relationship with Godif I really knew His Word?

I had become a Christian at twenty-one years old, whilea student at the University of Florida. But I didn't grow upin church and had no Bible background or knowledge accumulated.In the years that followed, I read through the Biblemany times. In fact, I held to a daily Bible-reading regimen.But I couldn't confidently say that I knew the Bible. My Bibleknowledge resembled a tangled pile of disconnected wires.

I came home from the conference in Chattanooga determinedto make a change. I had come face-to-face with theshallowness of my own Bible knowledge, and I longed to godeeper. But where would I begin? Since nay inspiration hadcome from someone who memorized Scripture, I decided tofollow her lead. I started with the book of Ephesians, an impossibleundertaking without God's help. It took me severalmonths, but I worked on it every single day and night, learningone verse at a time.

My overriding motivation was the fear of quitting. At thispoint in my life, I couldn't handle the devastation of anothergoal abandoned. The day came when I shared, from memory,the book of Ephesians with my Sunday school class. As I concludedwith "Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ withan undying love," tears flowed and my heart pounded with joy.I saw others with tears in their eyes as well, but I didn't understandwhat it all meant. That day I reached a milestone in mylife; the stepping-stones that preceded it were the months Ispent devouring Ephesians chapter by chapter.

I couldn't say that I knew God's Word yet. What I couldsay was, "I know the book of Ephesians." And for the first timein my Christian life, I felt as though God's Word was knowable.I had proven that to myself. For years I'd viewed knowingthe Bible as something unattainable, or perhaps reserved fora select few. Now I was convinced that the knowledge of theBible was not beyond my reach.

At the same time, I saw the inexhaustible nature of God'sWord. Even within the book of Ephesians, alter memorizingevery single word, more discoveries awaited me. I had not yetreached the depth of its truth.

Another outcome grew out of many months spent inEphesians—a sense of ownership, as if God had written thebook just for me. Every time I heard anything from Ephesiansmentioned, in conversation or at church, I immediatelythought, That's my book. I had poured hours of my life intoEphesians, and it now belonged to me.

But why did God give me His Word, and where did Hewant to take me from there? I didn't...