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Parenting with Scripture

Moody Publishers

Contents

Introduction.........................................9Teachable Moments....................................12Features and Symbols.................................23Topics...............................................24Scripture Appendix...................................22815 Fabulous Verses to Memorize.......................234Praying Scripture for Your Child.....................236Cross-Reference Index................................240

Chapter One

These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7

Teachable moments are any time that you use situations to dialogue with your child about what's going on—what he or she has seen, heard, or done. As this passage from Deuteronomy describes, teachable moments can be any time you and your child are together.

Christian poll master George Barna's research echoes the scriptural definition: "We have found that most children learn through experiences—either having an eye-opening lesson or having a previously grasped lesson clarified and reinforced."

Have you ever been sitting with the family watching a movie or TV show when all of a sudden, something happens onscreen that you wish your child hadn't seen or heard? Sometimes it is more appropriate not to make a big deal of it and hope the questionable content goes over the child's head. However, if you do discuss the issue right away or follow up later, you are making use of a teachable moment.

Where Do I Look for Teachable Moments?

Once you put yourself on the lookout for teachable moments, you'll find them everywhere! Here are a few of the most common ways that teachable moments arise.

1. Media. In our media-saturated culture, you'll find teachable moments on TV shows and commercials, in the movies, on the Internet, in music, in video games, in magazines, and on billboards.

When my kids were younger, we were watching an episode of Superwhy, when one of the show's characters was afraid to go down a slide. The question posed to the characters and the viewers was, "How do we help someone who is afraid?" The answer given by the show was to "cheer" for their friend. This turned into a great discussion later that day as we drove home from the dentist. We talked about how cheering is a great idea, but as Christians there are other ways we can help, such as praying for our friend or encouraging him with what the Bible says.

I reminded the children of some helpful verses by prompting them with the beginnings of these verses and they filled in the rest. We quoted Psalm 56:3, "When I am afraid, I will trust in you," and Philippians 4:13, which says, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

I remember wishing that the discussion had come up on the way to the dentist because my poor little guy had been terrified of getting in the dentist's chair for his checkup. His big sis did a great job cheering him on since that was fresh in her memory from watching the show, but it would have been neat to see how she used the biblical input from that teachable moment in that situation.

Families with older children or teens will want to help them think critically from a biblical perspective about what they take in through the media. See the Take Action section under the topic Revenge for a good example.

2. Situations with Siblings or Friends. There is no doubt a number of teachable moments can arise when a family has only one child. But as soon as others—siblings or friends—are added into the equation, it creates the potential for conflict. Seize these moments as opportunities to teach. Being consistent in this area takes a big investment of time on the front end, but the payoff comes as you see your child beginning to handle situations more appropriately.

One way of handling conflict as a teachable moment is through role-playing. This was instrumental in my family one summer as we prepared for the new school year. I recalled areas of conflict that had come up in the past couple of school years. Rather than mentioning them specifically, I tossed out similar scenarios by asking the children, "What would you do if someone carne up and told you something negative about someone else?" or, "What is a kind way of treating someone who really annoys you?" or, "What do you do if you are tempted to be disruptive in class rather than listening?" These questions generated great discussions and helped our year start off on a positive note. You can kick the teaching up a notch by praying over the topics and integrating Scripture that fits them.

Your children can also learn from the mistakes of others. As you observe situations, you can ask your child, "What might be a better way to handle that problem?" or, "What would you have done differently?" Talking through scenarios equips your child with the know-how to deal with the situation better if it ever happens to him. Wouldn't we all rather spare ourselves the pain of negative consequences by considering ahead of time what we could do differently? This method of using teachable moments will become increasingly important as your child gets older and the consequences of problematic behavior become more serious and harmful (such as drugs, smoking, premarital sex, and so on).

Most older children tend to try to one-up each other—not a good habit for interacting with people in general. For this situation, my go-to verse is 1 Thessalonians 5:11: "Encourage one another and build each other up." When my kids begin to one-up each other, I remind them that they are both good at different things and urge them, in light of this piece of God's Word, to turn the conversation more positively.

Anywhere there are two people, teachable moments will appear!

3. Car Time. When my nieces were growing up, my sister-in-law used to say she might as well wallpaper the minivan to beautify and personalize a space where she spent so much time! Most parents spend a lot of time getting the kids everywhere they need to go. Why not make use of the time when they're buckled into the family vehicle to create teachable moments?

You might pull a discussion topic from what you see out the window, like litter lining the road. You can use that moment to talk with your children about how God made the earth and wants us to take care of it. Part of that means not littering. Young children may not even know the term litter, so it's a perfect opportunity to broaden their vocabulary by explaining the meaning. You might bring in a verse such as John 1:3, "All things were made by him" (KJV).

This captive-audience teaching time is especially effective for older children and teens, as it offers the opportunity to pose moral questions like, "What do you do if someone asks to copy your homework?" or, "What do you think God has to say about that?" Try to think of some related verses or refer to this book when you get home.

4. Positive Moments. It feels quite natural to use the times when negative behaviors appear for teaching times. Of course it is necessary to address those areas and teach the child what is right and wrong. But all too often we leave the focus there even though children and youth respond very well...