Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

<div><b>STEVE FARRAR</b> (California State, Western Seminary, Dallas Theological Seminary) is the founder and chairman of Men¿s Leadership Ministries and a speaker for these and other conferences and events around the country, including Promise Keepers. Steve is the author of <i>King Me, How to Ruin Your Life by Forty, Point Man</i>, and <i>God Built</i>. The Farrars have three grown children and currently reside in suburban Dallas, Texas. For more information, visit <a href="http://www.stevefarrar.com" target="_blank">www.stevefarrar.com</a>.</div>

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The decisions you make now will define the rest of your life.40 years old. It sounds like a long way off, but it's not. Forty is just around the corner. And if you want to wake up with a fantastic life on that birthday, you'd better wake up today. Inside you'll find the wisdom you need to answer some of the most important questions you'll face over the next several years: -Who will I marry'-What kind of job will I have'-How can I know God's will for my life'-How do I handle doubt and temptation' -What is my life's purpose'-What if I blow it'For the first 20 years of your life, your parents made the major decisions for you. From now on, you'll be making the decisions. Are you ready'Consider this book your wake-up call.

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HOW TO RUIN YOUR LIFE BY 30

Moody Publishers

Contents

An Important Note to the Reader..................................................91. Overlook the law of cause and effect..........................................132. Get off to a bad start........................................................213. Ignore God's purpose for your life............................................334. Refuse to take responsibility for your actions................................515. Neglect your gifts and strengths when choosing a vocation.....................656. Disregard what the Bible says about sex and marriage..........................797. Stop learning.................................................................1038. Isolate yourself..............................................................1139. Refuse daily wisdom...........................................................129Notes............................................................................133

Chapter One

OVERLOOK THE LAW OF CAUSE AND EFFECT

AT EIGHTEEN YEARS OF AGE, Jane Lucretia D'Esterre was talented and beautiful. As she stood on the bank of a beautiful, deep lake in Scotland, she pondered plunging into the depths and taking her life. She had lost all hope.

The year was 1815, and her husband, John, had just been killed in a duel. He left her penniless, in a new country, completely by herself, with two babies to care for. Her family was in France, and she was without any kind of support: emotional, spiritual, or financial.

As she gazed into the depths of the lake and pondered the pain and brokenness of her life, she looked up and saw a young man on the other side of the lake plowing furrows on the hillside. He was completely focused on his work. He was not aware of her gaze as he guided the plow behind the horse with a single-minded purpose.

In her moment of despair, she was so impressed with the young plowman's focus and concentration on doing his work well, that his example and concentration pulled her out of her despair. Suddenly, she was infused with hope. Then the light went on in her head. She knew what she was supposed to do. She had received a timely dose of wisdom.

Jane acted. She decided to move straight ahead as the young plowman was doing. She, too, had a meaningful task to fulfill. Her children needed her. They had lost one parent already—they didn't need to experience the loss of another.

When she looked at the young man's example, she was given wisdom. Or to put it another way, Jane was given a wise heart. And when her heart became wise, it then became brave to do the right and hard thing.

A few weeks after this experience at the lake, Jane came to faith in Christ. A few years later she married Captain John Grattan Guinness, who was the youngest son of the famous brewer, Arthur Guinness.

Os Guinness tells this story in his excellent book The Call. Os is a gifted Christian author who has influenced many toward the kingdom of God. Jane D'Esterre was Os Guinness's great-great-grandmother. Os comments on the significance of the events that took place in Jane's life when she was just eighteen:

If it had not been for the duel, our side of the family would not have come into being. If it had not been for the plowman, the tragedy of the dueling husband would have been followed by the tragedy of the duelist's widow....

My great-great-grandmother was unusual for several reasons—including the fact that she conscientiously prayed for her descendants down through a dozen generations. Ours is a heritage of faith, for which I, for one, am deeply grateful.

When eighteen-year-old Jane was gazing into the deep, dark depths of the lake and pondering death, she couldn't see five generations ahead and see Os Guinness or any of her other descendants. All she could see was that her life was finished. But it wasn't finished. By looking at a purposeful young man plowing on a hill, she realized there was hope.

She could take the path of the lake or she could take the life of moving ahead, in spite of her mind-numbing emotional pain.

She had no idea that Christ would call her to forgiveness and purpose in just a matter of weeks. She couldn't imagine that she would have another husband who would love her and her children. All she knew at that moment was that she could choose death or life.

She had a choice to make, and that choice would carry consequences.

That concept is known as cause and effect.

With the wrong choice she could have ruined her life and her future. With the wrong choice she would have ruined the childhood of her young children.

But she made the right choice as an eighteen-year-old. And her family is still grateful today that she did, nearly two hundred years later.

The choices you are making in your life are just as significant.

THE FIRST TWENTY YEARS

In the first twenty years of your life, your parents make the major decisions for you.

From twenty on out, you will be making the decisions. The quality of your decisions will determine what your life will look like at thirty. So from here on, the hall is in your court.

You are no longer a kid. You are an adult. And it will be the choices that you make over the next few years that will make you of break you by thirty.

And thirty will be here before you know it. If you don't believe that, just ask someone who's there.

So when do you actually become an adult?

That's kind of hard to nail down because it happens in phases. As far as the law is concerned, eighteen is a very real marker of adulthood. But the big one is twenty-one. At the age of twenty-one, you have officially entered into the world of adulthood. And you are a full-fledged member, whether you feel like it or not.

My three kids are no longer kids. They have all passed their twenty-first birthdays and are officially adults.

One night at dinner, Josh, then twenty-two and a senior in college, was giving me some feedback on what he had read. We were talking about the fact that it is a huge transition to go from the teenage years into early adulthood. As I was listening to his feedback, I held up my hand and said, "Wait a minute, this is pretty good stuff. Let me get a pen and write it down."

"You don't need to write it down, Dad. I already did."

"When did you do that, last night?"

"No, I wrote it down about a year ago. I've been giving a lot of thought to this."

So here's what Josh wrote. I asked him to update it for this chapter. See if it doesn't resonate with you and your personal walk into adulthood:

A WIDE-EYED DRIVER TAKES THE WHEEL

In American culture, it is the first rite of passage into adulthood.

It is the one day every youth looks forward to with more anticipation, more excitement, and more sleeplessness than any other day in life: the day of the driver's license. For a sixteen-year-old, the driver's license is the ticket to a gratifying new world of freedom. By sixteen, the enjoyment of toys without horsepower and rides to the mall from Mom are entirely dissolved, and life has nearly lost its ability to entertain. But to sit in the driver's seat, to hear the car door slam shut, to be left entirely alone, and to feel the surge of power with a push of the pedal—this is the pinnacle of maturity's benefits. The excitement that a new driver...