Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Jan Silvious has years of experience as a counselor and Bible teacher. She leads seminars for Moody’s women’s ministry, she has been a keynote speaker at Moody’s Founder’s Week, and she is a pre-conference speaker for Women of Faith. Her books include Understanding Women, The Five-Minute Devotional, Foolproofing Your Life, Moving Beyond the Myths, The Guilt Free Journal, and Look At It This Way. Jan and her husband, Charles, make their home in Chattanooga, Tennessee. They have three grown sons.

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smart girls think twice

Thomas Nelson

Contents

Acknowledgments..............................................................................................ixAn Intelligent Attitude Toward Life..........................................................................1Chapter 1: Making Choices with Confidence Smart Girls Think Twice About Consequences........................11Chapter 2: For Real-It's a Warning! Smart Girls Think Twice About Red Flags.................................30Chapter 3: Don't Let Life Slip Away Smart Girls Think Twice About Time......................................54Chapter 4: Checks and Balances Smart Girls Think Twice About Money..........................................68Chapter 5: Is It True? Is It Kind? Is It Necessary? Smart Girls Think Twice About Words.....................86Chapter 6: Relatively Speaking Smart Girls Think Twice About Family.........................................102Chapter 7: You've Gotta Love 'Em Smart Girls Think Twice About Men..........................................121Chapter 8: All the Good You Can Do Smart Girls Think Twice About Living Generously..........................138Chapter 9: Give Yourself a Break Smart Girls Think Twice About Rest.........................................153Chapter 10: Who Will You Trust with Your Life? Smart Girls Think Twice About God............................171In-Depth Study and Discussion Guide..........................................................................187Notes........................................................................................................210

Chapter One

Smart Girls Think Twice About Consequences

My mother and daddy met in a class at business college. He had a limited education but thick, dark hair and loads of wit and charm. She was a blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty who doggedly put herself through college despite suffering the loss of her mother at the age of eighteen. Both were trying to better their chances for employment by taking the business course, but the biggest bonus to come out of that class was their meeting one another.

Each day they shared a package of crackers and a Coca-Cola for lunch. This bonded them together on a life journey that would last more than fifty-five years. Daddy often told me that when Mother walked into the classroom, he said to himself, "I'm going to marry that woman"-and marry her he did. I, their only child, was born five years later. The effects of the choices they made way back then continue to this very day.

That's the way of choices: they always have consequences, many of which last longer than we initially could imagine. The word consequences sounds as if it always involves punishment, but it doesn't. Consequences are simply the inevitable results of a choice, whether positive or negative. Every choice we make will bring consequences of some kind.

I learned about this relationship between choice and consequence at an early age by watching as my parents made big choices with great hopes and often huge consequences. In their early years, they lived hand to mouth. Mother stayed home to care for me and to make a home out of our tiny house. Daddy worked at a filling station owned by Mr. B. O. Jennings. (I love that name.) He pumped gas, washed car windows, changed oil and tires, and kept track of the money, a small percentage of which comprised his salary. It soon became clear that the money my dad brought in just wasn't enough for our family. My parents loved each other, and they loved me, but they did not love the financial future they saw stretching before them. So they thought about making a life change, and then they thought again. They came to the conclusion that moving where there were good jobs was the best choice for them. Daddy quit his job in Birmingham, Alabama, and got on a bus headed north.

He arrived in Washington DC on a cold January day. For more than two weeks he walked the streets answering ads and looking anywhere he could for work, but no job offers were made. Though lonely and discouraged, he had no intention of giving up. He had thought once, he had thought twice, and the choice had been made. His settled conviction gave him a certain confidence. So he called and asked my mother to catch the bus to Washington and come be with him. She did just that, and with my little two-year-old self in tow, she arrived at the Greyhound bus station after an all-night ride to find Daddy waiting with open arms to take us to the rented room where we would make our new home together.

He had found a one-room flat with a double bed and two overstuffed chairs that could be pushed together to make a wonderful crib. There was no refrigerator, but a handsome windowsill would keep my milk cold. There was no stove, but we had a hot plate to warm soup and a great little mom-and-pop restaurant waited just around the corner. What more could we need? Oh yes, there was a bathroom-down the hall!

My parents had considered their situation and made a life-changing choice, and we lived with the consequences of that choice from then on.

As a consequence of my parents' choice, not only did we live for a time in a one-room flat but I got to grow up near the nation's capital, surrounded by museums, art galleries, libraries, streetcars, and buses. I could go and see just about anything my curious mind wanted to take in.

As a consequence of my parents' choice, my dad ultimately found a good job and was able to provide a modest but stable income for our family for his entire working life.

As a consequence of my parents' choice, my mother met a school principal who invited her to teach in an elementary school. For more than twenty years, my mother taught fifth grade in an excellent school system.

As a consequence of my parents' choice, I was able to gain a college education without struggling to pay for it.

As a consequence of my parents' choice, I was brought up in a solid, loving church where I heard the Word of God on a regular basis. (It took a while for the consequences of that choice to be revealed, but it was an outcome of their choice, nonetheless.)

As I watched, listened, and experienced my parents' journey, I became intimately acquainted with the reality that choices must be made. I learned that it is impossible to go through life without deciding between the possibilities that wait behind Doors One, Two, and Three. Trying to play it safe by only looking at the Doors of Opportunity and declining to fling one open simply sets in motion a different set of consequences. We cannot avoid making choices; it's an integral part of being human that goes back to the very beginning of time. God purposefully left choice in our hands. He could have made us little automatons, but instead He chose to give us free will, leaving us with the responsibility and the pleasure of making our own decisions.

The First Taste of Consequences

Eve, of Adam and Eve fame, was the first girl in all of history to make a choice-and the first to face the consequences of that choice. Let's take a quick look at the drama that played out in the garden of Eden so long ago.

The serpent was clever, more clever than any wild animal GOD had made. He spoke to the Woman: "Do I understand that God told you not to eat from any tree in the garden?" The Woman said to the serpent, "Not at all. We...