Hello, My Name Is Pabst: Baby Names for Nonconformist, Indie, Geeky, DIY, Hipster, and Alterna-Parents of Every Kind - Softcover

Bruno, Miek; Sparks, Kerry

 
9780770435936: Hello, My Name Is Pabst: Baby Names for Nonconformist, Indie, Geeky, DIY, Hipster, and Alterna-Parents of Every Kind
Softcover
ISBN 10: 0770435939 ISBN 13: 9780770435936
Verlag: Crown, 2012

Inhaltsangabe

Finally, for alternaparents everywhere, the baby-naming book that will ensure that your baby has the coolest, most unique name on the playground.

 Ashley and Jaden? Over. Atari, Bedford, Sailor, Puma? Oh-so-in. Indie-leaning alternaparents of every kind, from geeks to Goths, are all grown up and procreating, and they want names that reflect the individuality they pride themselves on. Hello, My Name Is Pabst shows them how to put their stamp on baby-naming, injecting fun into what can be an otherwise contentious process. Names are thematically arranged into lists including "Names You Can Drink at the Bar" (Jager, Hennessey), "Names That Fit Into Skinny Jeans" (Vette, Plank), "Vegan and Gluten-Free Names" (Miso, Quinoa), and "Names to CTRL+C and CTRL+V" (Adobe, Helvetica). Also included are "tipsters" for sparking naming creativity, such as opening a box of crayons or scanning the credits of a foreign film. Pabst presents a whole new approach to baby-naming for a whole new generation of parents who want names that look good on a tote bag and kick ass at the playground.

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Miek Bruno and Kerry Sparks work in book publishing at the Levine Greenberg Literary Agency. They don’t have children, but you should let them name yours.

Auszug. © Genehmigter Nachdruck. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.

INTRODUCTION

It’s just a perfect day: You’re sitting in the park, sipping a Stumptown soy latte and reading the latest issue of Utne Reader as your little one bounces around on the jungle gym. The sun is shining, there’s not a cloud in the sky, and a busker is playing Lou Reed tunes on a saw in the background—­but far enough away to enjoy without being annoyed. Eventually it’s time for your child’s weekly knitting class, so you put your magazine away into your Rough Trade tote bag and wait for the busker to finish his song so you can holler to your child and make all the other parents jealous of what an awesome name you picked out.

But then the record scratches, the busker hits the wrong high note, and another father hollers to his child instead, “Gravel, time for your artisanal-baking playdate with Petunia and Zazzle!” Gravel? Artisanal baking?? Damn, that’s cool. How could this happen? How could someone else be a cooler parent than you? You dejectedly mutter your kid’s name and usher him off the playground.

Sound familiar? Yeah, we had that nightmare, too, and we want to help. So . . . 

Hello, welcome to our book. If you are looking for the perfect funky name for your little tyke, are looking to add pizazz to your own name, or just love to read name books, Hello, My Name Is Pabst has something for all you indie, geeky, DIY, hipster nonconformists out there. Want your baby’s name to be the envy of flannel-­wearing, cheap beer–­drinking, legwarmer-­clad, ping-­pong-­playing zombies everywhere? Read on.

First Things First

First, choosing a name for your kid sucks. How do you pick just one? How do you name someone you’ve never met? What if he has an outie belly button? Your kid is going to have to live with that name for the rest of his life, hear or say it a dozen times or more per day, write it down in e-mails, read it in e-mails, maybe even have it plastered on the side of his own food truck one day. And then when he dies it’ll be carved into some granite gravestone for centuries to come, where all of his fans will make pilgrimages and leave lipstick kisses and bottles of whiskey, because even though you didn’t succeed at becoming a rock god, classic author, and/or the next Warhol, your kid will, you’re sure of it.

On top of that, people are coming up with the most awesome friggin’ names these days. It seems every month we get an announcement with news that another friend has just one-­upped the last with an even cooler name: Haze, Indiana, Tree, Gant, Minnow. . . . It kinda makes you want to just drop being indie altogether, move back to the suburbs, and name your kid Jacob or Emma like everyone else out there. But you’re too poor to keep up with the suburbs, and you look awful in khaki anyway, so you really don’t have a choice.

We’re here to save you. We see this book as the remedy to the “damn, I wish I thought of that” pang you get every time one of your friends, Facebook friends, or second circle news feed Facebook friends scores an awesome, heretofore-unheard-of name. Obviously, all the cool kids are having fun with baby names, so c’mon, just try it.

Picking the right unconventional name, whether you’re looking for something strong (Hercules, Jett, Hammer), unique (Jazz, Tink, Biv), or happy-­go-­lucky (Lindy, Felix, Percy), can be quite enjoyable. The more you play with different options and start looking in familiar places for unfamiliar names, the more likely you are to find a fit that is just right for your new addition. This is something you get to do only a few times in life, if that, so have some fun, get creative, and, whatever you do, don’t tell your parents what you’ve chosen until the baby is born, the birth certificate is filed, and the baby is actually in the same room so you can tell them to stop screaming at you—­they’re disturbing the baby.

The goal of this book is not to just give numerous name examples, with alphabetized and gendered list after exhaustive list of names to choose from. We’ve looked at those books, and we know that you’re in such a numb trance by the time you get to the letter B that you’ll name your kid anything just to get it over with. (TRUE FACT: This is why there are so many Brians and Brianas in the world.) While we have a bunch of lists in this book, and it would be awesome if you used a name from one, we also know that there’s no better mold-­breaking name than one from your own imagination. So in each category we’ll suggest enough names in the spirit of that category to get your brain working and hope that it will inspire you to find the right one for yourself. The direct connection won’t always be immediately obvious (of course surely you will always get it), but it is often simply evocative of that category. Sometimes we split each category into different groupings, ranging from more classic ones that we think are still cool to more outrageous ones that take a bit of bravery to go along with. Other times we split them up according to different subcategories within the category, and other times we don’t separate them at all, or just pull out the more outrageous ones at the end. C’mon, it wouldn’t be a nonconformist baby name book if we actually stuck to one structure, would it? Whatever your passion is, we’re certain there’s a great name to be found in it that will hold a special meaning to you and doesn’t just slip into the blur of all the other kids in the class.

TIPSTER: Hey look at me, I’m a tipster. I’m like a tip, but for hipsters. Get it? I’ll occasionally pop up throughout to offer strategies to use and places to search for snazzy names. And sometimes I’ll just point out an alternative to a particular category or point you in the right direction. Okay, bye for now.

Second Things Second

You are clearly a unique soul, so of course your offspring will be, as well. If you picked up this book, we’re assuming you’ve already decided to choose a name that is a bit reflective of this, and you’re totally not interested in naming your child Tom or Stephen or Mary or Jennifer. Okay, so maybe your annoying childless friend gave it to you as a gag gift at your baby shower, and you’ve already decided on Audrey or Maxwell for your little precious. Why are you even reading this then? Secretly itching for something a bit wackier?

Before you come up with a good name, you have to let go of the notion that it must be a name you’ve already seen before. The name doesn’t have to come from the Bible (though it can—­there are plenty of cool names in there) or from your favorite literary work (though, again, lots of choices). And remember that before anyone ever named their kid Violet or Lily, they were just boring flowers, so feel free to jump on Peony, Dandelion, or Rhododendron. While you may not want to go all out and name your kid something like Balcony, just because you’ve always dreamed of being able to have one, it’s perfectly fine to do so, and that’s similar to how other names probably came to be, as well. Sky, Paris, Heaven—­these were all someone else’s dreams, too. And Balcony is actually kind of a cool name. Balcony Jones—­say it out loud a few times, look at how cool it looks. You can call him Balcon or Balc or Cony for short . . . it could work. Because inevitably, whatever name you end up choosing for your kid, it will eventually and almost magically fit him to the point where you can’t imagine him being named anything other than Laser...

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Verlag
Crown
Erscheinungsdatum
2012
Sprache
Englisch
ISBN 10 
0770435939
ISBN 13 
9780770435936
Einband
Taschenbuch
Anzahl der Seiten
192
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