Verwandte Artikel zu Something Missing: A Novel

Something Missing: A Novel - Softcover

Dicks, Matthew

 
9780767930888: Something Missing: A Novel
Softcover
ISBN 10: 0767930886 ISBN 13: 9780767930888
Verlag: Crown, 2009

Inhaltsangabe

"The story of an obsessive-compulsive housebreaker whose every waking moment is jam-packed with finicky clockwork ritual--the kind of intense micro-planning that might have made even Napoleon back off...Matthew Dicks has created an unforgettable character that will have you torn between wanting to throttle him--or adopt him." 
--Alan Bradley, author of the New York Times bestselling Flavia de Luce novels

A career criminal with OCD tendencies and a savant-like genius for bringing order to his crime scenes, Martin considers himself one of the best. After all, he’s been able to steal from the same people for years on end—virtually undetected. Of course, this could also be because of his unique business model—taking only items that will go unnoticed by the homeowner. After all, who would notice a missing roll of toilet paper here, a half-used bottle of maple syrup there, or even a rarely used piece of china buried deep within a dusty cabinet?
 
Even though he's never met these homeowners, spending hours in their houses, looking through their photo albums and reading their journals, he feels like he knows them. So Martin decides to meddle more in their lives—playing the part of a rather odd guardian angel—even though it means breaking many of his neurotic rules.
 
In this hilarious, suspenseful and often profound novel about a man used to planning every second of his life, Martin comes to realize that life is much better lived on the edge (at least some of the time).

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

MATTHEW DICKS is a writer and elementary school teacher. His articles have been published in the Hartford Courant, he has been a featured author at the Books on the Nightstand retreat, and he is a Moth StorySLAM champion. He is the author of three other novels, including Unexpectedly Milo, The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs, Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend, an international bestseller. His novels have been translated into more than 25 languages. He lives in Newington, Connecticut, with his wife, Elysha, and their two children.

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1
Martin opened the refrigerator and saw precisely what he had expected. The Pearls were nothing if not consistent. A gallon of milk, long since expired, cold cuts, opened jars of jam, tomato sauce, a carton of eggs, and, in the door, what Martin had predicted: salad dressing. More salad dressing than anyone would ever need. Newman's ranch, blue cheese, Thousand Island, French, Italian, two brands of balsamic vinaigrette, and Martin's favorite, parmesan peppercorn.

In the nine years that the Pearls had been Martin's clients, he had yet to see a head of lettuce or a fresh tomato in their refrigerator, yet there was always an excellent supply of salad dressing. And unlike most of his clients, the Pearls' salad dressings rarely reached their expiration dates, so someone in this house was using the dressing, but to what the dressing was being applied remained a mystery.

Martin took the bottle of parmesan peppercorn and examined it in his gloved hand. Satisfied with its expiration date, he placed it in the burlap sack and scanned the rest of the refrigerator. The sack, which hung off his left shoulder by a length of rope, was more for appearance's sake than anything else, a means of projecting an image of which he was quite proud. In Martin's estimation, he was at the top of his game, a master of his craft. Though any bag or sack would do, and some might serve him better, he had become attached to his burlap, and so on his shoulder it remained.

Martin then checked the butter drawer and found four and a half sticks. Selecting two and placing them in his sack, he closed the refrigerator door and headed for the pantry, reexamining the list that he had tucked carefully into his coat pocket. The list was written in French, so that in the event he was one day caught, it would be indecipherable by most police officers. Realistically, Martin knew that it wouldn't take long for any self-respecting detective to have the list translated, but the cautious nature of the list enhanced the image that Martin attempted to project.

beurre [butter]
sauce salade [salad dressing]
detergent Æ lessive [laundry detergent]
conserve [canned vegetables]
savon [soap]
diamant [diamond]

Martin found the Pearls' pantry well stocked with vegetables and selected two cans of peas, a can of corn, and two large cans of whole, peeled potatoes. Had the supply of vegetables been low, he would have bypassed this item on his list, adhering strictly to Rule #1:
If the missing item will be noticed, don't acquire it.

Certain items could be taken from a home without anyone ever noticing, particularly if one is familiar enough with the homeowner's inventory to determine how long an item has been in stock. A bottle of Liquid Plumber, for example, should never be taken during its first month on the shelf, because the homeowner has likely purchased it for a specific reason. A kitchen sink is slow to drain. The bathtub is filling with water during a shower. In these instances, a missing bottle of Liquid Plumber, which isn't cheap, might be noticed. But after thirty days, it's safe to assume that the homeowner has solved whatever plumbing problem from which he or she might have been suffering, and then the bottle can easily vanish without a trace. Sure, the client might one day think, "I thought I had bought an extra bottle when it was on sale," or "I didn't think I had used it all up," but as long as Martin followed Rule #2, these thoughts would be quickly dismissed.

Always married, without children, maids, or dogs.

Rule #2 was based upon a theory that Martin had proven long ago, and one that he considered to be the keystone of his success: When items go missing in a house, the suspicion of theft occurs only if the possibility of a thief exists.

The secret behind Martin's success was that the possibility of a thief operating in his clients' homes never entered their minds. And as long as the notion of theft didn't occur to a client, he would never be caught. This was achieved by choosing all clients with great care.

Single people, particularly those living alone, made for poor clients. They were simply too incalculable. When a person lives alone, he or she can monitor household inventory rather closely, and often does. Take Martin, for example. He knew that there were two tubes of Crest whitening toothpaste in the small drawer underneath his medicine cabinet. He knew this with certainty because he was the only one doing the shopping for his household, and he alone used the products that he purchased. If a tube suddenly went missing, there was no one in the household to blame for the disappearance but himself, and therefore, someone outside the home must have taken it. If these disappearances happened often enough, the possibility and probability of a thief would eventually enter Martin's mind. And because he lived alone, the identity of the thief would prove to be quite a mystery. Mysteries promote investigation. Investigations inevitably lead to evidence. Singletons were simply too much of a risk to take on as clients.

The couple must always be married as well. Roommates made the worst potential clients, simply because household expenses are often split between roommates using odd and indiscernible formulas that inevitably lead to strife. Roommates, in Martin's estimation, seem to always be fighting over whose bologna is sitting in the meat drawer, who used whose shampoo, and who made the thirty-nine-minute call to Denver on Wednesday afternoon during peak hours. Roommates, no matter how friendly they may be, always live with a certain level of mistrust for one another, and therefore when something goes missing, it is usually assumed that the roommate took it. The possibility of theft easily and immediately comes to mind with the presence of a roommate, and thus it becomes an option to consider.

No maid or children either, because these two types are frequently blamed for theft, no matter how insignificant the loss. Sticky-fingered maids and dishonest children are so common that they have almost become cliché.

And no dogs, because dogs bark at strangers and bite.
Martin did not like being bit.

One might think that the presence of children and maids and even roommates would be good for a man in Martin's line of work, by deflecting blame from himself and placing it upon more likely suspects, but this is where Martin separated himself from the amateurs. Though it might seem initially beneficial to have a theft blamed on a maid or a roommate, their mere presence establishes the likelihood of a theft. Their existence allows for the possibility of theft to enter the client's mind, and once these maids and roommates are cleared of all charges, the suspicion of theft lingers. An investigation begins. Investigations lead to evidence, and evidence leads to discovery. No, the key to Martin's success lay in the fact that his clients never really noticed that anything was missing, and when they did notice that an item was gone, they simply assumed that they had misplaced the item, lost it, or that the item had been moved or used by their spouse.

Of course, there was the occasional married couple who lived more like roommates than husband and wife, maintaining their own checking accounts, splitting expenses, and living separate financial lives, but Martin's careful screening process also eliminated these couples as potential clients. Besides, Martin found this arrangement to be ridiculous and destabilizing to the marriage, and he preferred to work with clients whose marriages were on a sound footing.

Exiting the pantry, making sure that the door was relatched, Martin passed through the kitchen and into the adjacent living room, stopping for a moment to inventory the items in the room in the event that the Pearls had added or deleted something since...

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Verlag
Crown
Erscheinungsdatum
2009
Sprache
Englisch
ISBN 10 
0767930886
ISBN 13 
9780767930888
Einband
Taschenbuch
Anzahl der Seiten
306
Kontakt zum Hersteller
Nicht verfügbar
Verantwortliche Person
GPSR Kontakt
gpsr@libri.de

Europaallee 1
Bad Hersfeld
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Deutschland