How to Say No to Your Toddler: Creating a Safe, Rational, and Effective Discipline Program for Your 9-Month to 3-Year Old - Softcover

Wilkoff, William

 
9780767912747: How to Say No to Your Toddler: Creating a Safe, Rational, and Effective Discipline Program for Your 9-Month to 3-Year Old
Softcover
ISBN 10: 0767912748 ISBN 13: 9780767912747
Verlag: Harmony/Rodale/Convergent, 2003

Inhaltsangabe

Teaching your toddler that “no means no” now can save you both suffering. But how do you say it so that he’ll understand?

For many parents of toddlers, saying “no” over and over becomes a mantra for exhaustion. Why is it so difficult to convey the meaning of this tiny word? Because, says pediatrician Will Wilkoff, when it comes to tots, actions speak louder than words.

Using very direct and simple guidelines, Dr. Wilkoff shows you how to develop a consistent and effective discipline plan. He explains what can go wrong with time-out and how to overcome obstacles, including your child’s rebelliousness, physical space issues, and your own reluctance. He also presents helpful advice for special situations, such as how to say no at meal times, at grandma’s house, and when your child is sick.

Presenting his compassionate and practical approach, Dr. Wilkoff shows how you can respond to the misbehavior of very young children while teaching them self-control that will benefit them throughout their lives. How to Say No to Your Toddler is the ideal guide for any parent who wants to take a more effective approach for raising healthy, happy children.

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

A pediatrician for more than twenty-five years, WILL WILKOFF, M.D., is the author of three previous books (most recently The Three-Month Breastfeeding Guide) and has promoted his parenting strategies on national television, including “20/20” and “The Today Show.” Dr. Wilkoff lives and practices in Brunswick, Maine.

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Teaching your toddler that "no means no" now can save you both suffering. But how do you say it so that he'll understand?
For many parents of toddlers, saying "no" over and over becomes a mantra for exhaustion. Why is it so difficult to convey the meaning of this tiny word? Because, says pediatrician Will Wilkoff, when it comes to tots, actions speak louder than words.
Using very direct and simple guidelines, Dr. Wilkoff shows you how to develop a consistent and effective discipline plan. He explains what can go wrong with time-out and how to overcome obstacles, including your child's rebelliousness, physical space issues, and your own reluctance. He also presents helpful advice for special situations, such as how to say no at meal times, at grandma's house, and when your child is sick.
Presenting his compassionate and practical approach, Dr. Wilkoff shows how you can respond to the misbehavior of very young children while teaching them self-control that will benefit them throughout their lives. "How to Say No to Your Toddler is the ideal guide for any parent who wants to take a more effective approach for raising healthy, happy children.

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Chapter 1

The Importance of NO

Do I Need THIS BOOK?

We arrive at the threshold of parenting with our own unique collection of strengths and vulnerabilities. All children are not cut from the same cloth, and each of us must adopt a parenting style that is appropriate for our child's age and personality. The possible combinations of child temperaments and parental personalities are so numerous that no author can claim to offer advice that will work in every situation, or a strategy that every parent will find appealing.

However, during my thirty years as a general pediatrician working with thousands of families, I have noticed that the parents who are successful at managing their children's inevitable misbehaviors have one thing in common. Whether they be lobstermen or college professors, they discover how to say "No" while their children are still toddlers. It wasn't always easy. They shared their struggles with me and together we worked out the solutions. Here are a few of their most frequently encountered scenarios. If some of them sound familiar, then you will find the answers you are looking for in this book.

When I say "No" my toddler laughs and runs away. You have been playing games with your child for months. Now he has to learn that there are situations when you mean business.

My partner and I disagree on how we should respond when our child misbehaves. Consistency is an important element in managing your child's behavior. However, it is only natural that sometimes the two of you will disagree about discipline. There are several ways to incorporate these expected inconsistencies into your approach to parenting.

Our daycare provider complains that our child is being too aggressive. If his behavior doesn't improve, we may be asked to find another daycare. In this era when two-earner families have become the norm, behavior management is not just something to be done at home. There are simple solutions to this complex issue.

I find myself screaming at my toddler to get him to behave. It seldom works and I don't like the way I sound. You can learn to use your words and your actions to manage your child's misbehaviors without raising your voice.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I have smacked my child's hand to stop a behavior. You knew it was a mistake the moment you did it, but under the circumstances you felt you were out of options. There are ways to change the circumstances and there are other, safer strategies that work.

I have read that I should be redirecting my toddler and providing positive reinforcement for his good behavior, but I've tried and he continues the same misbehaviors. While these two strategies can be components of a successful behavior management plan, without a coexisting set of consequences for misbehavior they are seldom effective. This book will show you how to draw age-appropriate limits and administer safe, humane, and effective consequences.

We've tried time-out, but it didn't work. Time-out still remains the safest and most effective way to discourage your child's misbehaviors, but many parents, like yourselves, must learn the fine points of the process before it will be effective.

I've listened to some parents who try to talk their child into behaving properly. These discussions sound silly and don't stop the misbehavior. It is very important to talk to your child and consider the motivations for his behaviors, but eventually you must stop discussing the situation and take action. There are safe and humane ways of moving beyond the words when the situation demands action.

Our child seems to come by her good behavior naturally, but we want to be prepared for the time when she begins to test us. You may have been blessed with a child who--for the moment--seems to require neither limits nor consequences. But, as you suspect, the bubble will burst someday. This step into the real world will be much easier if you already have a plan.

This book does not dictate a monolithic plan that must be followed in painful detail from A to Z to achieve success. It is a collection of observations gathered over thirty years of watching thousands of parents succeed and fail at behavior management. I have arranged its chapters in what I consider to be a logical sequence, but you are encouraged to jump around and read the chapters that sound most appropriate first.

Whether it be the employment of earlier bedtimes, setting more age-appropriate limits, or learning how to use time-out, I am sure you will find the ingredients from which you can create an effective behavior management strategy that will fit your family's unique situation.

I have tried to keep this book short enough to be read in one or two evenings. From experience, I know that some chapters will need to be reread several times as new challenging behaviors erupt. I hope you find what I have to say helpful. If you do, please share what you have learned with other parents. Raising children is hard work and we all need a little encouragement from time to time.

Behavioral realist or realistic behaviorist? A book reviewer once described me as a behaviorist, and I guess if I were forced to crawl into a well-recognized psychological niche, the sign over the pigeonhole would read "Behavioral Therapist." I believe that we can mold behavior with positive and negative reinforcement, but if I could choose my own label, I would prefer to be known as a "Realist."

What you will read in this book is not based on theory, but on real world experiences. The most valuable portion of my education in child psychology began during my last year in medical school, when the first of our three children was born. Over the next thirty years, as I watched her and more than five thousand other children grow into adulthood, I observed what worked and what didn't work for my wife and myself and the other parents who were kind enough to share their experiences with me. I understand the challenges of parenting a toddler from firsthand experience. I won't ask you to make changes in your style that I haven't tried myself or seen other parents use successfully. I have realistic expectations for what you can accomplish, just as I want you to have realistic expectations for your child's behavior. You can be sure that although my advice may have a behavioral flavor it will always be realistic.

Now Is the Time to Learn How to Say "No!"

It isn't too early. Your toddler has been capable of understanding that "No" means "Stop that behavior!" since he was at least nine months old and probably long before that. But like many parents, you may have been reluctant to give him credit for understanding your admonitions. After all, he's only a baby.

On the other hand, you may have been far more lenient in interpreting his ability to grasp your encouraging words. You have been talking to your baby from the first moment you saw his heart beating on a sonogram. You had been asking him questions, telling him stories, and sharing your emotions with him for many months before you saw an obvious response flicker across his face.

Although you may have erroneously given him credit for a grin before he was a week old, by six weeks of age he was definitely smiling in response to your foolish chortling. When he was two or three months old your antics could trigger a hearty belly laugh, and by his sixth month your interactions had risen to the level of mimicking each other's lip-rattling "raspberries." These were true, but often wordless, conversations. Each of you expected and received a response to the sounds you were making. These little chats were all very happy and positive, but they formed the foundation for more serious communications that were to come. Even when he was six months old your child could...

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Verlag
Harmony/Rodale/Convergent
Erscheinungsdatum
2003
Sprache
Englisch
ISBN 10 
0767912748
ISBN 13 
9780767912747
Einband
Taschenbuch
Auflage
1
Anzahl der Seiten
240
Kontakt zum Hersteller
Nicht verfügbar
Verantwortliche Person
preigu
mail@preigu.de

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