Far from the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity - Hardcover

"Deeply moving..."--Lisa Zeidner "The Washington Post "

"A careful, subtle, and surprising book."--Nathan Heller "The New Yorker "

"It's a book everyone should read and there's no one who wouldn't be a more imaginative and understanding parent--or human being--for having done so."--Julie Myerson "The New York Times Book Review "

"Monumental...Solomon has an extraordinary gift for finding his way into the relatively hermetic communities that form around conditions...and gaining the confidence of the natives."--Lev Grossman "TIME "

"Solomon is a storyteller of great intimacy and ease...He approaches each family's story thoughtfully, respectfully...Bringing together their voices, Solomon creates something of enduring warmth and beauty: a quilt, a choir."--Kate Tuttle "The Boston Globe "

"A brave, beautiful book that will expand your humanity."--Anne Leslie "PEOPLE "

"A book of extraordinary ambition...Part journalist, part psychology researcher, part sympathetic listener, Solomon's true talent is a geographic one: he maps the strange terrain of the human struggle that is parenting."--Brook Wilensky-Lanford "The San Francisco Cronicle "

"Solomon has found remarkable fonts of love and kindness in the mothers and fathers of children afflicted with severe problems, and he captures their lives in one touching anecdote after another."--Paul McHugh "The Wall Street Journal "

"Solomon treats his subjects with great empathy."--Rachel Wexelbaum "Lambda Literary Review "

"A behemoth worth every one of its 976 pages."--Amy Boaz "Publishers Weekly "

From the National Book Award-winning author of the “brave...deeply humane...open-minded, critically informed, and poetic” (The New York Times) The Noonday Demon, comes a book about the consequences of extreme personal and cultural differences between parents and children.

From the National Book Award–winning author of The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression comes a monumental new work, a decade in the writing, about family. In Far from the Tree, Andrew Solomon tells the stories of parents who not only learn to deal with their exceptional children but also find profound meaning in doing so.

Solomon’s startling proposition is that diversity is what unites us all. He writes about families coping with deafness, dwarfism, Down syndrome, autism, schizophrenia, multiple severe disabilities, with children who are prodigies, who are conceived in rape, who become criminals, who are transgender. While each of these characteristics is potentially isolating, the experience of difference within families is universal, as are the triumphs of love Solomon documents in every chapter.

All parenting turns on a crucial question: to what extent parents should accept their children for who they are, and to what extent they should help them become their best selves. Drawing on forty thousand pages of interview transcripts with more than three hundred families, Solomon mines the eloquence of ordinary people facing extreme challenges. Whether considering prenatal screening for genetic disorders, cochlear implants for the deaf, or gender reassignment surgery for transgender people, Solomon narrates a universal struggle toward compassion. Many families grow closer through caring for a challenging child; most discover supportive communities of others similarly affected; some are inspired to become advocates and activists, celebrating the very conditions they once feared. Woven into their courageous and affirming stories is Solomon’s journey to accepting his own identity, which culminated in his midlife decision, influenced by this research, to become a parent.

Elegantly reported by a spectacularly original thinker, Far from the Tree explores themes of generosity, acceptance, and tolerance—all rooted in the insight that love can transcend every prejudice. This crucial and revelatory book expands our definition of what it is to be human.