The Dance of Deception: Pretending and Truth-Telling in Women’s Lives - Softcover

From the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger and The Dance of Intimacy comes this groundbreaking exploration of the role of truth-telling and pretending in women’s lives.

According to psychotherapist Harriet G. Lerner, pretending is so inextricably linked with society’s notions of feminine behaviour that it is, quite simply, what women are expected to do. Truth-telling, the opposite of this feminine stereotype, is always associated with authenticity, integrity and self-worth. Going beyond conventional distinctions between deception and honesty, between good and bad, Dr Lerner gives a penetrating and humane analysis of what lying represents in a society where women’s ‘truths’ are so often unspoken truths.

Exploring the concepts of lying and pretending, of truth-telling and honesty as they are played out both in women’s intimate relationships and in society at large, The Dance of Deception offers a convincing and wholly accessible analysis of this unacknowledged part of all our lives.

Following the success of her bestselling books 'The Dance of Anger' and 'The Dance of Intimacy', renowned psychologist Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. looks atr the enormous human capacity for self-deception and uncovers the myths of female stereotypes.

Focusing primarily on the relationship with the self, Lerner analyses how and why we choose to deceive. 'The Dance of Deception' reveals how pretending has become so closely linked with society’s notion of female behaviour that the pretender is a role which women freely take on. Truth-telling is living your own truth and gives authenticity, integrity and self-worth, while pretending, for example, that you are happy when you are not is a path of self-denial. As each of us enters the web of self deceipt we deny ourselves a route to honesty and happiness. Going beyond conventional distinctions between deception and honesty, good and bad, Lerner analyses what lying represents in a society where women’s ‘truths’ are often unspoken.