Choosing to Grow Up: Navigating the Stages of Life

Scripture: Luke 15:11-24

Our children and grandchildren came in for the weekend a few years ago to celebrate Easter with us. On that Saturday evening we took the entire family (all ten of us) over to Goode Company Taquería for a casual, child-friendly meal.

As we walked in, we began to look at the large menu printed on the wall just above the serving line. I was pointing out to everybody that we could order hamburgers, hot dogs, steaks, or Mexican food.

Just then, our four-year-old grandson Daniel asked what was, for him, the ultimate question. In a loud voice that everybody in the restaurant could hear, Daniel said, "Does this place have ketchup?" For Daniel, that was the key question. For Daniel, that was the measuring stick for a good restaurant: "Does this place have ketchup? If they have ketchup, then it's O.K. here." By the way, in case you are wondering, Goode Company Taquería does have ketchup, so it is now on Daniel's list of approved five-star restaurants!

Now, let me raise a key question, a measuring-stick question, for the church. Here it is: Does the church, as a community of faith, produce spiritually mature Christians?

Let me show you what I mean. In growing up, we normally pass through three stages of life.

First, there is the childish stage, where the cry is, "Please do something for me!"

Second, there is the adolescent stage, where the cry is, "Please leave me alone. I don't need you or anybody. I can take care of myself!"

And third, there is the mature adult stage, where the cry is, "Please let me do something for you! Let me be a servant for others! Lord, make me an instrument of your love and peace and hope and healing."

Let's take a quick look together at these three stages of life and their unique characteristics.

The Childish Stage

Of course, we all love children. Life brings no greater blessing than a child. Obviously children are wonderful, but the reality is that children come into the world screaming, demanding. "Please do something for me." "Do everything for me. Hold me, rock me, talk to me, sing to me, entertain me, walk me, feed me, burp me, change me, and do it right now!"

Children have to do that. That's the only way they can communicate. It's the only way they can survive. And it's understandable in a child. But if a child never grows beyond that, if a child never matures, if a child never develops physically, mentally, socially, emotionally, and spiritually, it is a heartbreaking tragedy. And the sad truth is that some people do remain "childish" all the days of their lives.

Childish people are basically selfish and self-centered. They never think of the needs of others. Childish people have not yet learned how to share and care. They have not yet learned how to be grateful and generous. They have not yet learned how to be patient or polite or considerate or gracious.

Do you know anybody like that? Childish people (whatever age they may be) go through life screaming, "Please do something for me! And do it right now!" "I have this problem. What are you going to do about it? What have you done for me lately?"

The Adolescent Stage

Here, the key word is arrogant, but other descriptive adjectives fly fast and furious: rebellious, restless, discontented, ruthless, prideful. Adolescent people quite simply are those who never grew up. In trying to "cut the apron strings," they went overboard. They let the pendulum swing too far, and they have become hostile and resentful of any authority over their lives.

They are scared to death, but they try to cover that up with a false bravado, again and again loudly saying things like, "I don't answer to anybody! I'm my own boss! Nobody's going to tell me what to do or how to behave! My life's my own, and I'll do as I please! You gotta look out for number one! I'm a self-made person! I don't need anybody!"

Adolescent people say things like that so often and so loudly that you wonder who they are trying to convince.

One biblical illustration of the adolescent stage is the picture of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, saying, in effect, "Who does God think he is, telling us what we can eat and what we can't eat!"

Do you know anybody like that? The word here is arrogant, and the cry of the adolescent stage is, "Please leave me alone. I can take care of myself!"

The Mature Adult Stage

I don't know why somebody would give this to me, but "a friend of mine" put on my desk a description of "How to Know You're Growing Older." It reads like this:

You know you're growing older

• when everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work;

• when you feel like the night before, and you haven't been anywhere;

• when your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.;

• when you get winded playing chess;

• when you join a health club and don't go;

• when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going;

• when your knees buckle, and your belt won't;

• when dialing long distance wears you out;

• when your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you see a pretty girl walk by.

Now, these may be signs of growing older, but they are not signs of maturity. Growing older doesn't necessarily mean that we have become mature. Some people live a long time and have a lot of years under their belt but still have not made it to spiritual maturity. Somehow they got stuck in either the childish stage or the adolescent stage, crying, "Please do something for me!" or crying, "Please leave me alone!" On the other hand, I know some young people who haven't lived so many years, and yet they are amazingly mature.

The key word here is love. It is fascinating to note that both Jesus and Paul equated maturity with love. Jesus called love the key sign of discipleship, and Paul said that love is the greatest of spiritual gifts. So the measuring stick for spiritual maturity is loving compassion; humble, willing service; gracious thoughtfulness.

Love means being a servant Christian. The most mature person is the person most able to be loving, and the cry here is, "Please let me do something for you! Please let me help you! Please let me serve God by serving others. Lord, make me an instrument of your peace and grace. Lord, let me be a conduit for your love."

We see these three approaches to life expressed dramatically in the parable of the prodigal son. At first, the prodigal son childishly and selfishly demands, "Give me my inheritance now! I don't want to wait around until you die!" How presumptuous! How childish!

Then, he moves into the adolescent stage and runs away to the far country. As he walks down the road, can't you just hear him saying these...