Your Wedding (Checkers)

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Chapter 1

First Things First

Congratulations! You've just made what is believed to be the biggest decision of your life. You may feel as if you would just like to sit back and bask in the prewedding limelight, or perhaps you want to rush ahead with wedding preparation. One thing is certain. The minute you utter "engagement," the instant you flash a ring, the second they hear the news, everyone wants to know: Have you set the date? Before you know it, you'll have your wedding party lined up, the perfect reception in order, and your guests bidding you good luck. The ball is rolling now, and you dive headfirst into weeks, months of planning.

That's what this first section is all about. Here are the checkers that will help you get your decisions and plans in order. Before you brief the flower girl's mother on rehearsal time, before you begin packing for a Caribbean cruise, better dial a few numbers, ask a few questions, check off a few lists. First things first!

Take a look now at the first of your checkers; they're organized for you and for various members of the wedding party. First you'll consult the master checker for the entire process: a separate PLANNING SCHEDULE for the BRIDE and GROOM. Here are checkers to plan your every move from the moment you announce your engagement (six months or earlier) to one week before the wedding. As much as you may enjoy making decisions, as organized as you may be, everyone knows that two heads are better than one. Make sure the groom receives the PLANNING SCHEDULE right away, and then put your heads together to concoct the best of weddings.

Next is SETTING A BUDGET. You can't plan too far ahead without knowing how much money you will have to spend. Before you deal with real numbers, though, consult the traditional GUIDELINES. In a nutshell, the bride's parents take on most of the wedding expenses while the groom and his family handle the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon. However, feel free to improvise. Do not be limited by rules that seem unreasonable or are unrealistic for your particular situation. Then you must tackle the actual figures with the ESTIMATES checklist. In order to arrive at a rounded-off figure to aim for, you simply break down the ingredients. This checker does that for you; all you do is come up with the numbers.

The WEDDING & RECEPTION SITES checklist is not designed to slot you at the Waldorf for November 30 but to give you some novel ideas about types of ceremonies and receptions you can have. It also gives you a few tips on what to consider while you're deciding.

THE CEREMONY is more to the point. Since you'll probably have to meet with THE OFFICIANT early in the planning stages, there are a number of questions you should ask. This list gives you an idea of what to keep in mind. Then there's the little matter of VOWS and PERSONALIZING in your ceremony. Many couples are taking a second look at the traditional vows; some are rewriting them; others are altering them just a little; and still others are adding their own unique touches throughout. Here's a step-by-step rundown of where you might rewrite, alter, or add to your ceremony, plus a few new ideas.

Maybe you already know who you want to include in THE WEDDING PARTY or maybe you're in a dilemma. Follow your head. If you know that your best friend's going to be supportive all the way, then choose her as your maid of honor. Have your groom select his attendants too, and then enter everyone on your list.

Next on the agenda: The best man is at a total loss as to the obligations of his new title. No problem! The duties are spelled out for the MAID OF HONOR, BEST MAN, GROOMSMEN and USHERS in this section. Tear them out, copy extras for you and the different ushers, and distribute them.

Planning Schedule:

Bride

First

* Tell your family and friends about the engagement.

* Discuss wedding specifics with fiancé, and your parents.

Six Months Before

* Decide how many guests to invite; tell parents.

* Choose attendants.

* Choose women's wedding attire and accessories.

* Select florist and discuss your ideas.

* Choose caterer or make arrangements for reception food.

* Select china, crystal, and silver. Register in a wedding gift registry.

* Discuss honeymoon plans with fiancé.

* Visit clergymember with fiancé.

* Book ceremony and reception sites.

* Decide what kind of reception music you want. If necessary, begin interviewing musicians.

Three Months Before

* Set up appointment for blood test and examination.

* Complete guest list.

* Order stationery.

* Choose rings with fiancé.

* Confer reception details with professionals.

* Interview and select a photographer.

One Month Before

* Choose bridesmaids' and groom's gifts.

* Order wedding cake.

* Begin writing thank-you notes for gifts received.

* Discuss rehearsal party arrangements with host.

* Arrange bridesmaids' luncheon or party.

* Arrange lodging for out-of-town bridesmaids.

* Apply for marriage license with fiancé.

* Arrange wedding transportation.

* Schedule final fittings for the women's wedding attire, including your own. Check on delivery dates.

* Prepare for, schedule, and have formal portraits taken.

* Send wedding announcements and photos to papers.

Two Weeks Before

* Change your name and address on legal documents.

* Confirm details with florist, photographer, caterer,musicians, etc.

* Schedule rehearsal for one or two days before.

One Week Before

* Begin honeymoon packing.

* Set aside your wedding attire.

* Address and stamp wedding announcements to mail immediately after the reception.

* Wrap your bridesmaids' gifts for presentation at the luncheon or rehearsal dinner.

* Attend (or give) the bridesmaids' luncheon.

* Brief everyone on the rehearsal time.

Notes

Planning Schedule

Groom

First

* Tell your family and friends about the engagement.

* Discuss wedding specifics with fiancée and your parents.

* Decide how (and if) you'll split expenses.

Six Months Before

* Help fiancée decide on the guest list number.

* Start your own list; have your family do the same.

* Select best man and groomsmen.

* Help fiancée with general planning (florist, caterer, sites, etc.).

* Discuss and decide honeymoon plans; begin making arrangements.

* Visit clergymember with fiancée.

Three Months Before

* Complete guest list.

* Help select and order stationery.

* Select the men's attire with fiancée; consult attendants, then ask for sizes and arrange a fitting. Order your own wedding attire.

* Choose rings with your fiancée.

* Set up appointments for blood test and examination.

One Month Before

* Help fiancée finish mailing invitations.

* Talk to fiancée about her bouquet and going-away corsage. Order the bride's flowers along with the mothers' corsages and the men's boutonnieres.

* Choose attendants' and bride's gifts.

* Begin writing thank-you notes for gifts.

* Make arrangements for rehearsal dinner with your parents (or whoever is hosting it).

* Arrange the bachelor's party, if you're hosting.

* Arrange lodging for out-of-town attendants.

* Apply for marriage license with your fiancée.

* Pick up rings.

* Help arrange wedding transportation.

* Make sure the men's wedding attire has been ordered,...