The Interruption Of Everything - Hardcover

Über die Autorinnen und Autoren

Terry McMillan is the critically acclaimed, award-winning author of five previous novels and recipient of the Essence Award for Excellence in Literature.

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Chapter 1

The only reason Ifm sitting on a toilet seat in the handicapped stall of the ladiesf room is because Ifm hiding. My break is just fifteen minutes long and Ifm trying to decide with the help of a book on the subject of 8the changee if Paulette was really on to something when she suggested I get a blood test to see if my hormone levels were diminishing. And if it turns out to be true, I might want to get them replenished with something besides the Good & Plenty Ifve been eating by the handful for the last seven or eight months and I donft even like licorice. Ifm also sitting here with an old issue of Bead & Button trying to figure out if I shouldfve played it safe and used plastic instead of glass beads since I just had to make my very first jewelry attempt a gift, and because sometimes I do think that more is better, just had to add three strands more than the instructions called for and now I donft know how to close up the ends. Ifm not used to asking for help.

Paulette claims Ifve been showing enough symptoms of a perimenopausal woman to warrant further examination, which initially irritated me. She merely closed her eyelids over those hazel contacts and sucked her tongue across those shiny white veneers and whipped over one shoulder all five hundred of those individual braids that are way too long for a forty-eight-year-old woman who is no Donna Summer and said, 8I know what Ifm talking about. You remind me of me four years ago.e

Experiencing something once does not make you an expert on the subject.

The rampage I went on last week about Leon may have added more fuel to the flames. Perhaps my reaction to my husbandfs forgetting to set the empty water bottles out was a little strong, but it was totally symbolic of a lot of other things he neglects. Ten minutes into my rant, Paulette just said, 8Girl, you need to hurry up and have that test so you can be restored back to full sanity. Assuming you once were! But seriously, you need to do something because your circuit-breaker is not working. On a lighter note, donft forget: Pity Party next Friday at Bunnyfs. I canft wait to hear your latest bullshit, if therefs anything left to tell. And as an FYI: Bunnyfs taking another online course, girl. This time itfs psychology. So be prepared. Shefs probably going to be Freudfs little sister. Just try to be nice, Marilyn.e

8Nicee has been difficult for me lately. Paulette has also been kind enough to point out that all those who land in my path of wrath (as she calls my unconfirmed Pause Personality) deserve a break, especially Leon, and Arthurine, his nosey mother who has eyes in the back of her head and lives with us along with her handicapped dog to whom I have the luxury of being a private nurse. I wish I could take all of them on a one-way cruise out to sea and then sail back to shore alone. This does sound mean, but some days I canft help it.

I have to admit that I have experienced quite a few of the symptoms Paulette was sweet enough to bring to my attention. But I didnft tell her. She loves being right and I hate being wrong. I snap the book shut. Should I break down and spend even more money on French wire and Bali silver cones to close up the ends of this damn necklace? Trying to achieve true beauty can be expensive. But Bead & Button seems to imply that using inferior (or cheap) materials will help deter that dreaded question: 8Did you make that?e

Ifm making this damn thing for Bunny, my other best friend, for her thirty-seventh, thirty-eighth, but most likely her fortieth birthday. Ifve got close to a month before she turns the big hand on the clock. But even with my 20 percent discount, wefre still talking about explaining to The Husband Who Is Not at Sea why these sums are necessary when they appear on the Visa or MasterCard bill. And if I do mess up (or=just say it, Marilyn=if you fuck it up), since one never knows one has even made a mistake until after one has made it: at what price, friendship? Not that Bunny would notice.

Class is something she doesnft respect, understand, or care about. 8What can you do with it?e shefs asked Paulette and me over the years. Particularly when wefve tried year after year to persuade her to trade in that Atlantic City±looking 1989 red Corvette she insists on driving; we dropped major hints that she might want to try going to a real furniture store to purchase real furniture one or two pieces at a time instead of decorating and designing her entire condo in a single trip to IKEA where they may as well have airbrushed the four showrooms directly into her crib; and we encouraged her to reconsider always having on display her recent purchase of a D cup. But Bunny has consistently ignored us. 8Itfs all good,e as one of my sons would say.

Tonight Ifll be stretched out on her make-believe sofa with thirty minutes to pour out my suffering soul after wefve eaten takeout at her little table for two and she and Paulette will say whatever it takes to lift my spirits to a level of clarity since Ifve obviously had difficulty doing it on my own.

The ladiesf room door bangs. Shit! Itfs them. The crazy women Ifm hiding from, the ones who always want me to take part in their thrice-weekly reality show. I have been ordained Craft Staff Supervisor here at Heavenly Creations, and these two are not only the storefs very best customers, they also purportedly work here and provide live entertainment.

Now Maureen shouts: 8Ifm just so outdone! Ifm going crazy, Trudy! I mean really frigging crazy! I canft believe he did this! To me! After fourteen years of what I thought was a good=no, great=marriage and out of the blue he just decides to tell me hefs found a new torch thatfs been turning his low flame into a forest fire and that according to Dr. Phil hefs been in denial for five years about how bored hefs been with dusf and the whole suburban lifestyle and he said he didnft want to hurt me and the kids by coming clean but there was no getting around it and by the way her name is oh who cares what her name is!? Trudy, I feel like such a fool! I mean, what am I supposed to do without a husband and three kids all under the age of twelve?e

8You really think youfre extraspecial, donft you, Maureen? Thatfs your whole problem. Well, welcome to the pool of pain millions of women have been swimming in for years, sweetheart.e

8Youfre not making me feel any better, Trudy. I thought I could confide in you.e

8You are. But let me finish my thought. Itfs a miracle to me just how well some of us have managed=those of us who are the unfortunate beneficiaries of out-of-control husbands. I truly believe that the women who were only given fifteen minutes to adjust to their newfound fame as Single Mothers and only used six or seven of them, have been touched by an angel of some kind because how else could any one human being adjust so quickly and handle so much responsibility without a quick stint in the Loony Bin? You and the kids are probably going to be better off, if you think of the odds.e

8What odds?e Maureen asks.

8Letfs face it. How much do husbands really do? I mean, what role do they really play around the house? Go ahead and say it, Maureen! Not much. Ifve managed to marry three cut from the same exact mold. Go figure. They think their paychecks and their penises equal making a physical contribution, which is why wefre always too tired to fuck them. Am I on track here or what?e

She had a point, and I squirmed on the hard seat. Leon would certainly fit in if they were to take a group photo.

8I hadnft thought of it like that before, Trudy. But even still, Ifll take his paycheck and his penis any day over nothing.e

Maureen and Trudy are both what I call Craft Junkies because in the year and a half Ifve been working here, theyfve taken just about every three-hour and five-week class offered as long as it...