Fear+Less Dialogues Introduced

No dogs nip at my heels as I outstretch the three-feet measuring tape overhead, but I feel the ancestral presence of freedom fighters hoisting picket signs. With fists clenched on each side of the measuring tape, I sense a kinship with young activists who throw up their arms in protest and bow their knee to die-in. Unchoked by tear gas, my legs stand firm. But my unclouded eyes still water as I recall the faces of a hundred hues.

For a solitary moment, I gaze silently into the eyes of remembered faces standing before me. They too hold three-feet measuring tapes above their heads. Through my watery eyes, I see them clearly. There is the former gang leader in New Orleans with the garish knife wound chiseled around his neck from ear to ear. To his left, the Spanish-speaking New York pastor and the wheelchaired activist from Georgia. My eyes continue to rove the room and I peep the quizzical grin of the aging white male business tycoon. Next to him, I behold the prophetic vision of the brown-faced girl from Ferguson, who saw a flash of heaven in her community where others saw only hell. I look around the room and recall the faces of thousands of unlikely partners drawn together by Fearless Dialogues for hard heartfelt conversations.... Then I see Monique Rivarde.

Twelve months before Fearless Dialogues entered public discourse, I met Monique in a crowded courtroom. A cloud cover of rage hovered over the sentencing, and teardrops showered down this mother's cheeks. Nevertheless, undeterred by fear, Monique looked squarely into the eyes of the murderers of her eighteen-year-old son and challenged them to commit to become better men. Not once did Monique raise her voice, but when she spoke, people leaned in closer to hear. Months later in a Fearless Dialogues community conversation about police brutality, Monique sat amid a cloud of witnesses numbering nearly two hundred and offered another challenge: See and hear the pains of the unacknowledged all around us. Her words reverberated through every soul in the room. Again, she spoke barely above a thunderous whisper.

Rivarde represents a form of resistance that is quiet and forceful. According to Kevin Quashie, "resistance" that is solely described as a deafening outcry "is too clunky, vague and imprecise to be a catch-all for a whole range of human behaviors and ambitions." When quiet resistance is overlooked in history, it is possible to uplift the strides of televised protest and stamp out the acts of day-to-day resistance of the millions, like Monique, who will never make the headlines. Fearless Dialogues equips communities to see the invisible, to hear the muted, and to create change through quiet resistance and fearless speech.

THE BIRTH OF FEARLESS DIALOGUES

Seeking Truth through Troth

It was a sweltering afternoon in May 2013, yet colleague after colleague filed into the conference room. The summer seminar doubled as a think tank, and all in attendance were primed for conversation and eager to bring to life theories from my first book, Cut Dead but Still Alive: Caring for African American Young Men. Twelve in total, we encircled the conference table. Before speaking I scanned the room and took notice of these unlikely partners. Around the table were a power-plant engineer, a marketing executive, a graphic designer, a community organizer, a drug dealer turned artist, an IT specialist, a freelance journalist, a professional singer, a pastor, a fashion designer, and a corporate attorney. Once the room settled, I quietly searched the eyes of every individual in the circle. Behind every cornea, I saw a story. Beyond every iris, there lay a gift. In the silence that followed, I could sense the ancestors and archangels blessing the work before us and the unborn unbridling our tongues. Breaking through with quiet resistance, I uttered six simple words of invocation, "It's good to finally see you."

For the next hour, full-hearted introductions flowed freely in the space; it was evident that this gathering of gifted persons possessed great potential for catalyzing change. Yet between introductions a discomforting silence lingered near. A closer look revealed that subtle smiles and uneasy laughter masked a nervous energy. Person after per- son recounted grim tales of similar gatherings of impassioned leaders. Each of these narratives echoed a tragic cycle:

Impassioned leaders gather.

The perils of paternalism, territorialism, and fear stifle conversation.

With no framework for dialogue, the leaders retreat to familiar theories, practices, and dogmas.

Creativity, collaboration, and change dissipate.

Frustrated leaders depart.

Seeking to chart a course that would avoid dialogical derailment, we declared a troth.

Centuries ago, individuals and communities inscribed sacred bonds with each other by declaring a troth. The Old English word "troth" is an ancient vow where persons or communities entered a covenant to engage in a mutually accountable and transforming relationship. These solemn promises forged relationships of trust and faith in the face of unknowable risks. Our troth was simple. We covenanted to train our eyes to see individuals and communities hidden in plain view. We vowed to attune our ears to hear the muted who scream from the shadows. During our training and attunement, we pledged to remain in community and to address any rising discord in our group with courage and humility. This troth would illumine our way and guide our interactions.

For weeks we read, ate, and shared together. We were far from an ordinary class; the city was our laboratory. So together we walked urban streets, learning from community organizers and local pastors, swapping stories with griot-like grandmothers and down-to-earth drug dealers. In time, we recognized small yet noticeable shifts in the world around us. We were seeing differently. We were hearing differently. We were changing internally.

But just as our vision was clarifying, blind rage circulated on social media. Though we were hearing more deeply, we could not ignore the fever pitch of discord scouring national news:

George Zimmerman Found Not Guilty and Goes Free

Twitter Erupts After Ex-Neighborhood Watchman Walks on ... Murder Charge

Ivy League Professor Calls "God a Racist" after Zimmerman Verdict

Verdict Doesn't End Debate in Trayvon Martin Death

'No Justice': Thousands March for Trayvon Martin

After Zimmerman Verdict, Trayvon Martin Isn't Only Victim

President Obama: Trayvon Martin Could Have Been Me

White Churches Uncommonly Quiet after Zimmerman Verdict

In the days following the July 13, 2013, verdict that found George Zimmerman not guilty for the murder of Trayvon Martin, constructive conversations seized. At dinner tables and lunch...