Kiss-Off Letters to Men: Over 70 Zingers You Can Use to Send Him Packing, Mess With His Head, or Just Plain Dump Him - Softcover

Dankoff, M. Erica; Johnston, Muara C.

 
9780609807927: Kiss-Off Letters to Men: Over 70 Zingers You Can Use to Send Him Packing, Mess With His Head, or Just Plain Dump Him
Softcover
ISBN 10: 0609807927 ISBN 13: 9780609807927
Verlag: Crown Pub, 2001

Inhaltsangabe

A zany collection of letters for women scorned takes the "Dear John" letter to hilarious new heights presents a variety of easily adaptable missives designed to help miffed female readers unload an unwanted male, deflate his ego, or remove him from her life, accompanied by practical advice on how to end a bad relationship for good. Original. 25,000 first printing.

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

ERICA DANKOFF is a professional writer and former stand-up comic. She lives in New Jersey, where she is working on a book and film projects.
MUARA JOHNSTON, a former nationally syndicated television show producer, deejay, and manager of nonprofit organizations, currently lives in Los Angeles, where she is studying film.

Auszug. © Genehmigter Nachdruck. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.

Chapter 1

Dumping . . . time to take out the garbage . . .

The relationship is kaput. He dumps you, you dump him. . . . It's all the same in the end, isn't it? Or is it? Of course we all know it's far better to be the dumper than the dumpee. Remember: the garbage man gets paid for his job while the garbage ends up in a landfill in New Jersey.

Forget dieting‹the fastest way to lose dead weight is to dump your boyfriend. Here are a few creative suggestions if you want to go out with a bang—and not the good kind.

Dear __________,

I really have to thank you. You've taught me all I need to know about bad relationships.

A date with you is dinner at Wings and Things. An evening of romance is a rented porno flick and microwave popcorn. For my birthday I wanted to see R.E.M. in concert, but the closest I got to Madison Square Garden was watching the WWF on TV.

Weekends you spent slothing on the couch while I did your laundry. When you wanted sex, I was expected to roll over; when I wanted to make love, Cindy Crawford was on Letterman. I'm tired of looking at your barely covered gut, cleaning your ashtrays, and picking up your empty beer cans.

I've been a short-order cook, waitress, bartender, and busboy to your ever-present cronies, but my friends were considered snobs simply because they bathed daily.

I have a news flash for you. I'm out of here! I've found a man who loves me, respects me, and treats me right. He pays the check and the bills, has hired a maid, and makes love to me like you never could.

You better start looking for another lackey to pick up the slacky!

Good riddance!

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Verlag
Crown Pub
Erscheinungsdatum
2001
Sprache
Englisch
ISBN 10 
0609807927
ISBN 13 
9780609807927
Einband
Taschenbuch
Auflage
1
Anzahl der Seiten
95
Kontakt zum Hersteller
Nicht verfügbar
Verantwortliche Person
Nicht verfügbar

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Softcover