Prodigal Father - Softcover

Bryan, Mark

 
9780609802038: Prodigal Father

Inhaltsangabe

In The Prodigal Father, Mark Bryan addresses this important social issue by offering a proven program to help fathers assume a vital role in their children's lives. "Through my work and my own experience as an absent father, I've come to realize that what we call 'deadbeat dads' are actually broken-hearted dads," says Bryan. "Living in shame and denial about the pain of their loss (even when they were the ones who decided to give up their kids), these men feel hopeless and overwhelmed at the thought of attempting a reunion."

Mark Bryan knows the problems of men who are divorced and don't see their kids as often as they would like, as well as those of the men who have totally lost touch with their children. He knows the guilt and shame they feel, the pangs at holiday times, the wrench when a father is alone and sees other fathers playing with their kids, taking them to school, waiting with them in the line at McDonald's. He knows how fathers wonder how they got "out of the picture," how they became "extraneous." He also knows that kids miss their fathers as much as their fathers miss them. He knows this because he is a reunited father himself, and because he has reunited many fathers with their children through his Father Project workshops. Bryan tells many of their stories, and his own, in this book. In The Prodigal Father, Bryan recounts, in detail, the steps he took that led finally to the close relationship that he and his son Scott now enjoy.

More recently, working with small groups of men around the country, Bryan developed an eight-step program to lead men from estrangement to reunion. Many men who never expected to see their children again now see them regularly, participate in decisions in their day-to-day lives, and enjoy the richness and joy only children can provide. Bryan's carefully conceived plan helps men negotiate the sensitive and potentially explosive path back.  

It includes:
        
Acknowledging the loss and the pain
        
Taking steps to regain self-respect and become the man you'd want to father your children
          
Making amends to your child's mother
          
Planning the meeting with your child
          
Reuniting
          
Recognizing the specific needs of your child at each age
          
Establishing an ongoing relationship; becoming close
          
Embracing your child's extended family; the stepfather and half sisters and brothers.

                
A special chapter is addressed to mothers, urging them to help in the reunion process. Bryan's message will bring hope and happiness not only to the men who find their way back, but to their children, so often silent about their deep grief over the separation, and to the mothers long overburdened by the responsibilities of single parenthood.
        
Says Bryan: "I will be touring to more than twenty cities to get the message of Reunion for Fathers across.  Will you help me reach those millions of fathers and mothers whose distance keeps their children from knowing their fathers?  Will you help those 21 million children who never see their fathers live fuller lives and gain a love they so fervently need?  I am asking your help to bring this message to your audience. For this is not just a book. It is a mission."    

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Mark Bryan has been a teacher and writer for over a decade, and is a nationally known speaker in the human potential movement.  He is the cofounder (with Julia Cameron) of  The Artist's Way. His experience both in developing extremely effective self-help techniques for The Artist's Way and as a reunited father led him to create this program to help estranged fathers.

Bryan received his masters in family education from Harvard University and is Director of The Father Project, affiliated with the Harvard Project on Women's Psychology, Boys Development and the Culture of Manhood.  He is currently researching The Artist's Way for Work.  Mark Bryan lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts.


From the Hardcover edition.

Aus dem Klappentext

Prodigal Father, Mark Bryan addresses this important social issue by offering a proven program to help fathers assume a vital role in their children's lives. "Through my work and my own experience as an absent father, I've come to realize that what we call 'deadbeat dads' are actually broken-hearted dads," says Bryan. "Living in shame and denial about the pain of their loss (even when they were the ones who decided to give up their kids), these men feel hopeless and overwhelmed at the thought of attempting a reunion."

Mark Bryan knows the problems of men who are divorced and don't see their kids as often as they would like, as well as those of the men who have totally lost touch with their children. He knows the guilt and shame they feel, the pangs at holiday times, the wrench when a father is alone and sees other fathers playing with their kids, taking them to school, waiting with them in the line at McDonald's. He knows how fathers wonder how they got "o

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Mark Bryan's Own Story:

"I am a gratefully reunited father," Bryan says. "I remember vividly the fear and confusion I felt when Betsy told me she was pregnant. We were both sixteen, juniors in high school. I wanted to do the right thing, 'be a man.' We married, Scott was born, and we tried to be the happy family we told people we were. But, living in the basement of my parents' house, working days, studying nights, our marriage soon fell apart. When Scott was eighteen months old, Betsy and Scott moved back home to Virginia. I made the 300-mile trip as often as I could, but visiting them became more and more difficult. When Betsy told me she had a new boyfriend and a new life, that I couldn't see Scott anymore, I was devastated. While we talked in the garage, John, ten years our senior, waited in the kitchen to lend her his support. I wanted to argue the injustice of her decision, but John was an intimidating presence. I was tongue-tied and intimidated. Though I don't know if she actually said it, all I could hear that day was that I did not deserve this son any longer. That Scott was better off without me in his life. Too confused to challenge Betsy morally, let alone legally, I got into the car and headed back to Ohio.
        
I can see now the impact that confrontation had on my life. It started for me a downward spiral that became a descent into hell. For over a decade, I drifted in and out of college, in and out of jobs, in and out of depression, alcohol and drug abuse. When I was thirty, I finally sought professional help and turned my life around, facing the fact that my most important loss was my connection with my son. I devoted myself to "becoming the man I would want my son to meet."

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9780517706176: Prodigal Father: Reuniting Fathers and Their Children

Vorgestellte Ausgabe

ISBN 10:  0517706172 ISBN 13:  9780517706176
Verlag: Crown Publications, 1997
Hardcover