New Happy: Getting Happiness Right in a World That's Got It Wrong - Hardcover

Harrison, Stephanie

 
9780593541388: New Happy: Getting Happiness Right in a World That's Got It Wrong
Hardcover
ISBN 10: 0593541383 ISBN 13: 9780593541388
Verlag: TarcherPerigee, 2024

Inhaltsangabe

INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER

A NEXT BIG IDEA CLUB MUST-READ 

Well-being expert and social media sensation Stephanie Harrison of @newhappyco reveals the counterintuitive secrets to happiness and provides a practical guide to help us all learn how to live a happy life.

We all want to be happy, but happiness always seems to be out of reach — until now. In New Happy, happiness expert Stephanie Harrison draws upon hundreds of studies to offer a life-changing guide to finding the happiness you have been looking for, all based on a decade of research and brought to life with beautiful artwork. 

It’s not your fault if you are unhappy. You have been told three lies: you’re not good enough; you need to achieve fame, wealth, and power; and you need to do it all on your own. This is Old Happy, our society’s false definition of happiness, and it’s making us miserable. In this book, you’ll learn the truth: you are enough, you have unique and important gifts, and using them to help other people leads to your happiness. 

New Happy is your step-by-step guide to building the life you want. Accompanied by revelatory artwork that explains key concepts, Harrison takes you through the process of unwinding Old Happy, uncovering your own gifts, and using them to both improve your life and the world at the same time. If you have ever asked yourself, “Who am I really?” “When will I be happy?” or “What am I supposed to do with my life?” this book is for you.

Through an inspiring blend of art and science, New Happy will forever change the way that you see yourself and the world. Whether you’re wondering what career you should choose, navigating a life transition, going through a difficult time, teaching your kids what matters most, or simply hoping to experience more joy every day, New Happy offers the proven path to a happier life and a better world.

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Stephanie Harrison is the creator of the New Happy philosophy. Her work has been featured in publications such as CNBC, Fast Company, Forbes, and Harvard Business Review. She is the founder of The New Happy, a company helping individuals, companies, and communities apply this philosophy in their lives. The New Happy’s art, newsletter, podcast, and programs reach millions of people around the world.

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1

How We Got It All So Wrong

There was once a man who wanted to be happy.

His childhood had been difficult. His parents didn't seem to love him. His father, especially, was cruel to him, constantly pointing out all of the ways in which he was not good enough. At school, he was left out and teased. He escaped into his favorite books, looking for comfort in their heroic tales and fantastic realms. He was determined that one day, when he was grown up, he'd leave behind all this pain and be happy.

First, he had to figure out how to do that. He looked at the world around him to learn what he needed to do to be happy, and the answer was clear: become successful, powerful, and wealthy.

He began working very hard, quickly becoming a leader in his business. His choices had a cost, though. His mind would spin, day and night, tossing his worries around and around: Was he doing enough? How could he get more? His fiancée eventually broke up with him, tiring of his growing obsession. He justified his choices to himself: "Soon, I will get there, and then I will be happy, and then I can make it up to everyone."

He miserably pursued happiness.

Yet no matter how hard he worked and how much he gained, happiness eluded him. His pain made him angry, mean, and cynical, and as time passed, he grew more and more isolated.

But then, one day many years later, a miracle happened. He woke up, and he was happy!

What happened? Did he finally "get there," achieving the specific, elusive level of success that would guarantee happiness?

Or was it something else? If so, what could possibly change this man's life, after so many years of misery, in such a powerful way?

Happiness Drives Everything We Do

We all want to be happy: this man, you, me, and everyone we know.

Happiness is the single most important goal in a human being's life. It drives everything you do. Every goal you set. Every decision you make. Every action you take. They all ladder up to it, seeking a way to make you happier, whether it's in the short term or the long term:

- The breakfast you picked up this morning

- The job you're interviewing for

- The exercise program you're starting

- The person you're dating

- Your weekend plans

- Your career aspirations

- Your big life goals

They all promise happiness in some form or another. It's like we're being guided by a compass inside us, one that is always pointed toward our version of true north-happiness.

In one study across forty-seven nations, students ranked happiness as "extraordinarily important,'' the single most important goal in their life.

In our brains, circuits help us pursue what we think will make us happy. When we want something, our brain kicks off a motivational process that compels us to set out and pursue it. When we get that thing, we experience a surge of positive, pleasurable feelings. Over time, this process teaches us that certain things reliably will make us feel good, thus inspiring us to want to pursue them again.

People show up in therapy and say, "I just want to be happy." Parents describe their dearest hope for their children as, "I want them to be happy." We say it to ourselves when we're trying to make a decision: "What choice will make me happy?"

This validates what William James, the father of American psychology, wrote back in 1902: "How to gain, how to keep, how to recover happiness is in fact for most men at all times the secret motive for all they do."

Up until now, your happiness compass has probably been invisible to you. If you take a step back from your daily behaviors and choices, though, you can start to notice it. The best way to do it is to get in touch with your inner toddler and ask yourself, "Why did I make that decision?"

Say you're frustrated at work and thinking about leaving your job.

- Why are you considering that? Because it is creating a lot of stress in your life.

- Why is it creating stress for you? Because the job is not a good fit for you.

- Why isn't it a good fit for you? Because you're not getting to do what you're best at.

- Why do you want to do what you're best at? Because you think it will make you happy.

Or imagine that you're trying to choose what to do after high school.

- Why do you want to go to college? Because it'll help you learn a valuable skill.

- Why do you want to learn a valuable skill? Because it will help you get a good job after graduating.

- Why do you want to get a good job after graduating? Because it will help you earn lots of money.

- Why do you want to earn lots of money? Because you will be able to buy all of the things that you want.

- Why do you want to buy all of the things that you want? Because it will make you happy.

Eventually, if you ask "Why?" enough times, you will hit the deepest, driving desire: happiness. As the French philosopher and mathematician Blaise Pascal said, "All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views."

Yet despite happiness being our most important goal, so many of us are unhappy. Studies find that Americans are the unhappiest they've been in fifty years. One in three Americans are lonely. Twenty percent of Americans are dealing with a mental illness, and in one recent survey, 76 percent of working Americans reported at least one symptom of a mental health condition. Between 2000 and 2018, suicide rates grew by 35 percent.

If the pursuit of happiness drives every single thing that we do, why are we so miserable?

Your Definition of Happiness

To answer this question, let's return to the man from the beginning of this chapter. You have met him before and heard his story many times, only told in a different way.

This man's name is Ebenezer Scrooge. He's the famously miserable man who spreads gloom all around him but who is, deep down, someone who just wants to be happy, like you and me.

Scrooge's only problem was that he had a bad definition of happiness. It led him to make choices that made himself and others miserable.

You might be wondering what a definition of happiness is and how changing it could possibly have such a huge impact. You'd be right to do so, given it's something we rarely discuss. Before that day crying on my bedroom floor, I wouldn't have known how I defined happiness either. My definition was so embedded that I took it for granted as the truth. It never once occurred to me that it was an idea, something that could be changed.

Our definition is so important because the word happiness itself is a fuzzy, vague concept. We all know what it feels like, but it's not something we can point to, like a chair or a flower or a snail. Philosophers and scientists have been squabbling over what happiness is for thousands of years, proposing hundreds of different definitions.

When you look up happiness in the dictionary, the word is defined as "a state of well-being and contentment." Not helpful. If happiness drives everything we do, we need to have an idea of what will lead to this state.

In the absence of a clear definition, we look to the world to tell us what happiness is. This definition gets documented in our own personal dictionary of beliefs:

This will make me happy.

From there, this definition guides all of the decisions that you make and the actions that you take in your lifelong pursuit of happiness.

When Scrooge's dead business partner, Jacob Marley, and the three ghosts visited him on Christmas, he was shocked into...

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Verlag
TarcherPerigee
Erscheinungsdatum
2024
Sprache
Englisch
ISBN 10 
0593541383
ISBN 13 
9780593541388
Einband
Gebundene Ausgabe
Anzahl der Seiten
288
Kontakt zum Hersteller
Nicht verfügbar
Verantwortliche Person
Buchbär
info@buchbaer.de

Weberstr. 67
Osnabrück
49084
Deutschland

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