Normal Children Have Problems, Too: How Parents Can Understand and Help - Softcover

Turecki, Stanley; Wernick Ph.D., Sarah

 
9780553374384: Normal Children Have Problems, Too: How Parents Can Understand and Help
Softcover
ISBN 10: 0553374389 ISBN 13: 9780553374384
Verlag: Random House Publishing Group, 1995

Inhaltsangabe

Lack of friends * poor self-image * sibling rivalry * hyperactivity * sadness and fearfulness * eating problems * nervous habits * aggressive behavior * defiance * sleep problems * lying * learning disabilities. . .

Even normal children can have problems.

And parents can help them.

That is the powerful assurance Dr. Stanley Turecki offers parents in this compassionate and practical book. Whatever the situation, Dr. Turecki shows you:

A new way to understand your child's difficulties and gain insights into causes and solutions
How to discuss problems without destructive arguments and win your child's cooperation
How to strengthen self-esteem by making the most of your child's individual temperament
How to improve discipline by focusing on planning and prevention rather than punishment
How to collaborate with teachers about school problems
What to do if you are told that your child should be tested for ADD or placed on medication
When to seek professional help

Including vivid vignettes illustrating a wide range of problems and how they were successfully resolved, this award-winning book is destined to become a parenting classic.

Die Inhaltsangabe kann sich auf eine andere Ausgabe dieses Titels beziehen.

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Stanley Turecki, M.D., is a psychiatrist, author, and lecturer. He is a diplomate of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology, certified in adult and child psychiatry, and Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City. He is also on the attending staff of Beth Israel Medical Center and Lenox Hill Hospital, and a member of several professional organizations. In 1983, he founded the Difficult Child Program at Beth Israel, and in 1985 the Difficult Child Center in Manhattan.

Since the publication of The Difficult Child in 1985 (revised edition, 1989), Dr. Turecki has become widely known for his expertise on children and families. His views have been featured in many professional and popular publications, including The New York Times, People, Redbook, Parents, Ladies' Home Journal and Working Mother. His many radio and television appearances include Good Morning America, The Today Show, CBS This Morning, Oprah Winfrey, and 20/20.

While maintaining an active practice in New York City, Dr. Turecki frequently lectures to parents, teachers, pediatricians, nurses, and mental-health professionals, speaks at professional association functions, and regularly participates in the T. Berry Brazelton National Seminar series.


Sarah Wernick, Ph.D., is a freelance writer based in Brookline, Massachusetts, who specializes in health and family issues. She is a contributing editor for Working Mother; her articles also have appeared in Woman's Day, Parents, Redbook, The New York Times, and other publications.

Von der hinteren Coverseite

Lack of friends * poor self-image * sibling rivalry * hyperactivity * sadness and fearfulness * eating problems * nervous habits * aggressive behavior * defiance * sleep problems * lying * learning disabilities. . .
Even normal children can have problems.
And parents can help them.
That is the powerful assurance Dr. Stanley Turecki offers parents in this compassionate and practical book. Whatever the situation, Dr. Turecki shows you:
A new way to understand your child's difficulties and gain insights into causes and solutions
How to discuss problems without destructive arguments and win your child's cooperation
How to strengthen self-esteem by making the most of your child's individual temperament
How to improve discipline by focusing on planning and prevention rather than punishment
How to collaborate with teachers about school problems
What to do if you are told that your child should be tested for ADD or placed on medication
When to seek professional help
Including vivid vignettes illustrating a wide range of problems and how they were successfully resolved, this award-winning book is destined to become a parenting classic.

Aus dem Klappentext

Lack of friends * poor self-image * sibling rivalry * hyperactivity * sadness and fearfulness * eating problems * nervous habits * aggressive behavior * defiance * sleep problems * lying * learning disabilities. . .

Even normal children can have problems.

And parents can help them.

That is the powerful assurance Dr. Stanley Turecki offers parents in this compassionate and practical book. Whatever the situation, Dr. Turecki shows you:

A new way to understand your child's difficulties and gain insights into causes and solutions
How to discuss problems without destructive arguments and win your child's cooperation
How to strengthen self-esteem by making the most of your child's individual temperament
How to improve discipline by focusing on planning and prevention rather than punishment
How to collaborate with teachers about school problems
What to do if you are told that your child should be tested for ADD or placed on medication
When to seek professional help

Including vivid vignettes illustrating a wide range of problems and how they were successfully resolved, this award-winning book is destined to become a parenting classic.

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ARE YOU CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR CHILD?

Eight-year-old Joshua looks unhappy most of the time. He is easily disappointed and reduced to tears. Playmates don't call as much, and Joshua says sadly that no one likes him. He has become whiny, and he shadows his mother around the apartment.

Joshua's parents argue about the best way to deal with him. Joshua's father believes that his son would make friends and feel better if he participated in sports. He has enrolled Joshua in a soccer league and insists that the boy join him for a daily workout.

Joshua's mother thinks her husband's approach is too simplistic. She urges her son to talk about his feelings. To boost his self-esteem, she compliments him lavishly and tells him often how much she loves him. But sometimes even she becomes exasperated by Joshua's behavior: She angrily tells him to stop pestering her and to go out and do something instead of just feeling sorry for himself Afterward, she is overwhelmed by remorse and doubles her efforts to be caring and understanding.

* * *

Joanna is four, and the director of her preschool has asked her parents to make another child-care arrangement by the end of the month. Joanna's teacher complains that she disrupts the class: She protests loudly when an activity is over and refuses to clean up; she won't lie down at nap time or sit still for a story. On the playground, she's too impatient to wait her turn for the riding toys and pushes other children out of line. The school director has suggested testing her for ADD.

Joanna's parents are devastated by their daughter's expulsion from preschool. At the same time, they're exasperated with her, since she's defiant at home as well. Daily life--from getting Joanna dressed in the morning to putting her to bed at night--is a series of power struggles. Her mother feels humiliated and confused. She's bombarded by conflicting advice from friends, relatives, and even strangers who witness Joanna's public misbehavior. Her father, who occasionally explodes at his daughter's disobedience and swats her on the behind, guiltily wonders if his bad example is behind her aggressive behavior.

* * *

Rosemary's mother doesn't recognize her twelve-year-old daughter. Rosemary, an only child, had always been loving and well-behaved. Now she's increasingly angry and defiant. In school, her usual A's have slid to B's and C's, and her provocative behavior recently prompted a call from the guidance counselor.

Five years ago, when Rosemary was seven, her father left the family; she has had little contact with him since. When her mom began dating again, Rosemary seemed enthusiastic. But her attitude changed when her mother became involved in a serious relationship. Last year her mother remarried, and things went from bad to worse.

Rosemary greets her mother's concerned overtures with a wall of impenetrable silence, punctuated by explosions: "Just leave me alone! All you care about is him!" Though Rosemary's stepfather tries to be understanding, the mother feels torn between her daughter and her new husband. The stepfather downplays the girl's behavior as normal adolescent rebellion. But her mother wonders if Rosemary has suffered emotional damage because she once again feels abandoned by a parent.

* * *

Myra and Ellen, sisters ages six and nine, bicker constantly. They argue over whose turn it is to pick the TV show; who gets to eat the last cookie; who sits behind the driver in the car--and who is to blame for their quarreling. Though their parents bend over backward to be evenhanded, both youngsters seize upon their slightest inconsistency and accuse them of playing favorites.

The girls' mother, an only child who always longed for a sister, is baffled by the conflict between her daughters. Their father, whose own sisters became estranged as adults after a bitter quarrel, struggles to make peace between his girls. He lectures them about the importance of the family, and tries to referee their arguments. But no matter what he says or does, the fighting continues.

* * *

Three months ago Tim's parents divorced, and he moved across the state with his mother and sister. Since then, Tim, who is seven, has been unable to sleep through the night. Sometimes he awakens crying from frightening nightmares. Or he comes into his mother's room with anxious questions: How would they know if a fire started in the middle of the night? Could burglars break into the house through the roof? Lately, he has insisted on touching each toy in his room exactly twice before he goes to bed. If he forgets so much as a single Matchbox car, he insists on starting over.

Tim's ten-year-old sister, who misses the friends she left behind when the family moved, resents all the attention he gets; she complains that nobody cares about her. Tim's mother is dealing with her own problems: She doesn't like being single, and she has trouble making ends meet because her ex-husband is behind on child support payments. She feels guilty about neglecting her daughter, but mostly she worries about Tim.


As a child and family psychiatrist, I see youngsters like these every day. They are not disturbed or mentally ill, and yet they have significant problems. I'm sure you can identify with their loving, concerned parents. We all want our children to be happy and to feel good about themselves. When they don't, we feel awful too. Underneath the frustration and worry there is often considerable guilt, and the lurking fear that something is seriously wrong.




THE PURPOSE OF THIS BOOK

This book is for mothers and fathers of children ages three to twelve, who are experiencing problems like the ones just described. If you're in this situation, you may have reached a point where you feel you've tried everything and don't know what to do next.

Discussions with your spouse and child may have become emotionally charged and unproductive. If your child seems unhappy, you may be tentative and overprotective; if the difficulty involves misbehavior, you may be criticizing and punishing too much. At the same time, you may dislike the parent you see yourself becoming.

I can assure you that you will see improvement once you've read this book and put its ideas into practice. But I want to emphasize at the outset that it isn't a "how to" encyclopedia, with specific solutions for particular problems, presented as if they apply to all children. The essence of my approach is to look at problems and devise solutions for the individual child and family.

Therefore, I offer you a collaboration with me, modeled on the way I work with parents and illustrated by many dialogs and case histories. (Of course, all individuals are renamed and identifying details are changed to protect privacy.) We will approach this joint effort as co-experts. My contribution is my professional knowledge, objectivity, therapeutic involvement with many children and families, and a philosophy based upon respect for the individual. You bring your deep love, practical experience with your son or daughter, and powerful motivation to take action.

You will learn how to tap yourself as a resource for your child--no one knows her as well as you do. I won't tell you what she should be like; after all, she's a unique individual. But I will help you think about the person she is, so that your expectations are reasonable. Nor am I going to tell you how to run your family. My goal is to provide principles that you can apply to your own situation.

Underlying my approach are two basic assumptions:
Normal children can have problems.

Parents can help them.
First, the fact that your child is having difficulties doesn't mean that he's disturbed or that there's something seriously wrong with him. Perhaps...

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Verlag
Random House Publishing Group
Erscheinungsdatum
1995
Sprache
Englisch
ISBN 10 
0553374389
ISBN 13 
9780553374384
Einband
Taschenbuch
Anzahl der Seiten
271
Kontakt zum Hersteller
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Verantwortliche Person
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