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No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work - Hardcover

Fosslien, Liz; West Duffy, Mollie

 
9780525533832: No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work
Hardcover
ISBN 10: 0525533834 ISBN 13: 9780525533832
Verlag: Portfolio, 2019

Inhaltsangabe

Wall Street Journal Bestseller!

Next Big Idea Club selection―chosen by Malcolm Gladwell, Susan Cain, Dan Pink, and Adam Grant as one of the "two most groundbreaking new nonfiction reads of the season!"

"A must-read that topples the idea that emotions don't belong in the workplace."
--Susan Cain, author of Quiet

A hilarious guide to effectively expressing your emotions at the office, finding fulfillment, and defining work-life balance on your own terms.

How do you stop the office grouch from ruining your day? How do you enjoy a vacation without obsessing about the unanswered emails in your inbox? If you're a boss, what should you do when your new, eager hire wants to follow you on Instagram?

The modern workplace can be an emotional minefield, filled with confusing power structures and unwritten rules. We're expected to be authentic, but not too authentic. Professional, but not stiff. Friendly, but not an oversharer. Easier said than done!

As both organizational consultants and regular people, we know what it's like to experience uncomfortable emotions at work - everything from mild jealousy and insecurity to panic and rage. Ignoring or suppressing what you feel hurts your health and productivity -- but so does letting your emotions run wild.

Our goal in this book is to teach you how to figure out which emotions to toss, which to keep to yourself, and which to express in order to be both happier and more effective. We'll share some surprising new strategies, such as:
  *   Be selectively vulnerable: Be honest about how you feel, but don't burden others with your deepest problems.
  *   Remember that your feelings aren't facts: What we say isn't always what we mean. In times of conflict and miscommunication, try to talk about your emotions without getting emotional.
  *   Be less passionate about your job: Taking a chill pill can actually make you healthier and more focused.

Drawing on what we've learned from behavioral economics, psychology, and our own experiences at countless organizations, we'll show you how to bring your best self (and your whole self) to work every day.

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Liz Fosslien is the Head of Content at Humu, a company that uses behavioral science to make work better. Liz's writing and illustrations have been featured by the Economist, The New York Times, NPR, and Freakonomics.

Mollie West Duffy is an organizational and leadership development expert. Previously she was a lead organizational designer at global innovation firm IDEO. She has helped companies and start-ups such as Casper develop good workplace culture. She writes a blog about start-up culture, and has written for Harvard Business Review, Entrepreneur, Fast Company, and Quartz.

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Decision Making
Emotion is part of the equation: Why good decisions rely on examining your emotions

LIZ: Four years ago, I was offered the position of executive editor at RapGenius (now Genius), an early-stage (at the time) music-media company. After my initial “Someone wants me!” euphoria wore off, I plunged into a confused depression. Accepting the position meant I would have to move to New York in less than two weeks. At the time, I lived in a rent-controlled apartment in San Francisco, my crush had finally asked me out, and I was reasonably content at my existing job. With only three days to consider the offer, I anxiously discussed my options with friends, mentors, Uber drivers, and anyone else who would listen. In true economics-major form, I also tried to model out various scenarios and rampantly abused the phrase “opportunity cost.” My exhaustive analysis led me to conclude exactly nothing. Based on the metrics I had chosen, there was no clearly superior option. But I still had to make a decision. So, though it went against every fiber of my hyper rational background and education, I turned to my feelings. I first envisioned my life on the West Coast continuing uninterrupted. I felt a slight twinge of regret. Then I imagined what would happen if I took the job: the details of my first day, how I would get along with my coworkers, the New York abuse I would undoubtedly receive for eating a giant street pretzel. My heart beat faster—I felt excited and nervous and thrilled. I decided to accept the offer. Over the next two years, Genius went through drastic changes, reorganizations, and an identity crisis. It was hard. Our team worked hard (often in its own way). We slept at the office, exchanged three-thousand-plus-word emails philosophizing about how our website mirrored samurai Japan, chose the best marketing copy via a competition called “Pitch Idol” (trophies included), and responded to GIF-and emoji-filled texts from users at all hours of the day. Through it all, I never regretted my decision. Though basing such a life-changing decision on my feelings seemed wildly irrational, scientific research (and my own experience!) indicates that it wasn’t such an idiotic strategy after all. As we discuss in this chapter, a range of studies show that the best judgment and problem solving incorporates emotion. In fact, if emotion is entirely ignored in the decision-making equation, the results can be surprisingly harmful.

A FORK IN THE ROAD

There’s a science to listening to your gut. When making decisions, we tend to think of rational analysis as straight-forward and gut feelings as disingenuous. But the reason emotions get a bad reputation is that we don’t know how to decode them. That’s where the third new rule of emotion at work comes in: Emotion is part of the equation. You might eventually decide to ignore a feeling, but you should acknowledge it exists. In a lab experiment, people who reported feeling the strongest emotions (good or bad) at the moment of decision made the best investment choices—even if they didn’t always follow their gut. Instead, they considered their emotions, thought hard about which ones might be informative, and then regulated the rest. Put differently, paying attention to all your feelings allows you to control them instead of the other way around. When people talk about decision-making, they tend to assume that feeling something and doing something with those feelings are the same thing: that once we open the floodgates, we’ll be bowled over by the crush of our emotions. But emotions aren’t mystical signals; they’re based on expertise, experience, and rapid information processing (the psychologist William James described gut feelings as “felt knowledge”). Ever felt something in your bones that you couldn’t otherwise explain to yourself? These feelings can help you narrow down and prioritize your options. Say you’re applying to new jobs. If the thought of becoming a marketing associate fills you with dread, you might want to cross that off your list of potential positions. And if you feel a thrill imagining yourself as a data scientist, that’s an equally important sign about what openings you should go after. The other reason to consult your emotions when making decisions is because, well, you already are. It’s impossible to make a purely logical choice. Even something as simple as choosing to put on a seat belt relies on emotional parts of the brain. It’s easy to assume, “I put on a seat belt because I want to be safe,” but that choice also stems from a reasonable fear of dying in an accident. In this chapter, we’ll talk about how to analyze your feelings, walk through the differences between useful and useless emotions, look at one important decision you should not let emotion influence, and discuss how to make the best decision based on your individual emotional tendencies.

WHAT TO KEEP AND WHAT TO TOSS

Not all feelings should be weighted equally. Trusting everything your brain throws at you without holding it up to a light is dangerous. Some feelings are important and some are irrelevant. Psychologists differentiate between relevant emotions and irrelevant emotions.
• Relevant emotions are directly tied to the choice you’re facing. For example, if you’re trying to decide whether or not to ask for a promotion and the idea of not asking fills you with regret, that feeling is a relevant emotion. These emotions can be useful guides for picking one option over another.
• Irrelevant emotions are unrelated to the decision at hand, but they like to stick their tentacles into your reasoning. Say Liz stubs her toe or gets a speeding ticket. She’ll get upset and might suddenly decide her colleagues ideas are all bad. A good rule of thumb: keep relevant emotions, toss irrelevant emotions. When you're making a decision, ask yourself, “How do I feel?” Label your emotions and then categorize each as relevant or irrelevant. If you feel anxious, think carefully about whether the decision is making you anxious or if your nerves stem, for example, from a big presentation you have to give later in the day. The ability to separate between these two buckets sets you up for decision-making success.

MOLLIE: There are so many times when I make decisions based on how I’m feeling in the moment (tired, hungry) rather than how I think I'll feel in the future depending on what decision I make. For example, I Often have a hard time motivating myself to go out to after-work drinks with my colleagues. When I get the invitation for drinks, I always want to go. But by the time 6:00 p.m. rolls around, I am usually tired and hungry.These irrelevant emotions make me want to head home to (1) eat dinner (I like to eat dinner at the grandmotherly time of 6:30) and (2) get some introvert catnip (aka alone time). But I know that if I do go out,I will feel happier and more connected to my colleagues. I have to remember to let my relevant emotions (feeling happier in the future) not fall prey to my irrelevant emotions.Relevant emotions Think of relevant emotions as your internal navigation system. When you imagine what would happen if you picked one option over another, that image is marked with a positive or negative feeling. For example, Liz felt a thrill when she thought about moving to New York. This emotional signal indicated it might be a good choice. Relevant emotions are a common currency that let us compare apples and oranges. Sometimes you’ll have to pick between options that can’t be neatly compared (e.g. should I go to law school or become a yoga instructor?). In these situations, how each choice makes you feel can help when your pros-and-cons list falls short.Relevant emotions also...

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Verlag
Portfolio
Erscheinungsdatum
2019
Sprache
Englisch
ISBN 10 
0525533834
ISBN 13 
9780525533832
Einband
Gebundene Ausgabe
Anzahl der Seiten
304
Kontakt zum Hersteller
preigu GmbH & Co. KG
mail@preigu.de

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