Women around the world have responded to Cara Alwill Leyba’s Girl Code with a resounding YES. Companies like Kate Spade and Macy’s have brought her in to teach “the Code.” Inc. magazine named Girl Code one of the “Top 9 Inspiring Books Every Female Entrepreneur Should Read” alongside Lean In, #Girlboss, and Thrive.
A few years ago, I made a crazy claim in the first edition of Girl Code: that in today’s competitive marketplace, the fiercest thing a female entrepreneur can do is to support other women.
Something dynamic happens when women genuinely show up for each other. When we lose the facades, cut the bullsh*t, and truly have each other’s backs. When we stop pretending everything is perfect, and show the messy, beautiful parts of ourselves and our work—which all look awfully similar. When we talk about our fears, our missteps, and our breakdowns. And most importantly, when we share our celebrations, our breakthroughs, and our solutions.
I’m convinced that there’s no reason to hoard information, connections, or insight. Wisdom is meant to be shared, so let’s start sharing what we’ve learned to make each other better. Let’s start building each other up. Let’s live up to our potential and start ruling the world.
Girl Code is a roadmap for female entrepreneurs, professional women, “side hustlers” (those with a day job plus a part-time small business), and anyone in between. This book won’t teach you how to build a multimillion-dollar company. It won’t teach you about systems or finance. But it will teach you how to build confidence in yourself, reconnect with your “why,” eradicate jealousy, and ultimately learn the power of connection. Because at the end of the day, that’s what life and business are all about.
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Cara Alwill Leyba is an author, speaker, and master life coach who encourages women to celebrate themselves and make their happiness a priority. Her popular blog, The Champagne Diet, has been featured in Glamour, Marie Claire, Shape, Cosmopolitan, and others. Cara's chic and stylish approach to self-help has attracted women all around the world to attend her workshops, read her books, tune into her podcast, Style Your Mind, and follow her on social media. She lives in Brooklyn, NY.
Chapter One
The Secret's Out: There's Enough for All of Us
"Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life. Because you become what you believe."
-Oprah Winfrey
As BeyoncŽ fiercely belts out in her hit song Girls, "Who run the world? Girls!" And who can argue with her? Women are more powerful and independent than ever. In fact, women-owned businesses have increased by a staggering 68 percent since 1997 with more than 9.1 million of those businesses operating in 2014. That number is huge! Not only should it prove that we are seriously killing it, but it shows us that success as a female entrepreneur is truly limitless.
Technology and social media have made entrepreneurship more accessible than ever, and women are heeding the call. We're building brands, creating companies, and designing lives for ourselves that allow us freedom and creativity: two major components of success according to female entrepreneurs around the world.
But unfortunately, we're still struggling in many ways. Women are still not making as much money as they could and should be. In fact, women entrepreneurs are receiving only 19 percent of angel funding and about 6 percent of venture capital, according to INC.com. And for women who are funding their own businesses independently, research shows that we still find it challenging to raise our prices and charge what we feel we deserve. Stings, right?
And the problems don't end with finances. Many of my own clients struggle with deep-rooted issues like fear, insecurity, and a scarcity mind-set-a general feeling that there is just not enough money or opportunity, leading them to feel limited and helpless in terms of making positive changes in their lives and businesses. They feel stuck and ultimately remain in a pattern of limiting beliefs that keep them from reaching their full potential-and it ain't cute.
So what the hell is going on here? And more important, how can we fix it? The first thing I'm going to teach you in this book is probably the most significant takeaway, so you might want to bust out your hot pink highlighter or bookmark this page. This powerful mind-set shift is a game changer and the springboard for success, so listen up! There are absolutely no limits on what you can achieve. Your possibilities are truly endless, and you have the power to create the life and business of your dreams. You must find the place inside of you where everything is possible.
GIRL CODE: Secret
You must find the place inside of you where everything is possible.
If you're thinking, But how do I do that, Cara? then you need to know this: you are amazing, exactly as you are. That's right, I'm talking to you. You were put on this earth with a unique voice, talent, and gift that nobody else has or will ever possess. Stop and let that soak in for a moment. Whether you're a bad-ass woman in business rockin' it on a daily basis, or you have absolutely no idea what your "dream job" looks like yet, know that there is something extremely special about you that the world needs.
You should also know that whatever your gift is, nobody can do it quite like you. One of the biggest traps we fall into as women is the comparison trap, the "she's got it all" trap, the "she has more fans" trap, or the "she's making more money" trap. We tend to stack ourselves up against everyone else and pick ourselves apart based on what other people are doing. This practice does nothing to make us better, smarter, or stronger. In fact, it only zaps our creativity and our passion, and it leaves us feeling exhausted and uninspired. And that is not a recipe for a successful woman.
The truth is, there are millions of other women in the world, and many of them are going to have careers and businesses similar to yours. But the key word is similar. Nobody can replicate the genius that you possess. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you will set yourself free from the fear and insecurity that plagues so many women. As Dr. Seuss so eloquently put it, "Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You." We teach this message to children, so why aren't we reinforcing it within ourselves? (Don't worry, we're gonna get to that later on.)
So now that you understand just how awesome you really are, let's talk more about abundance. Did you ever catch yourself staring up at the sky? Or better yet, have you ever gazed out the window while on an airplane, in awe of how boundless the universe truly is? It's easy to get wrapped up in our little bubbles and perceive the world to be as small as our own backyard (or, if you're a Brooklyn girl like I am, our own stoop). We often get so caught up in gossip, jealousy, and negativity that we lose sight of just how much opportunity there is on this huge, amazing planet. As you go through this book, I want you to think big. I want you to forget the small talk, the small people, and the small thoughts. In order to be a powerful and successful woman, you're going to have to think beyond your stoop.
There's a term I use with my clients that I call limitless luxe. When we are in a space of limitless luxe, we understand that our desires should be boundless, and they can all happen for us-no matter how big we perceive those desires to be. We have to undo our programmed thinking that we cannot have what we want in life, or that we should feel guilty, shameful, or selfish for wanting everything. Or that because someone else has it, there is none left for us. There is absolutely no shame in having desires, and the sooner you own them, the sooner they will flow to you.
You have the ability to create any reality you wish for yourself. If you've ever shared your goals with others, and have been met with the phrase "be more realistic," then you know how tough this whole entrepreneurship journey can be. What you must remind yourself is that other people's version of "reality" is just that-their version. It is reflective of their experiences, their fears, and their set of beliefs. Your reality is yours and yours alone. And it should be as fabulous as you want it to be.
If your reality includes private jets, a multimillion-dollar empire, and global travel, then that is a wonderful thing and you should own it. If your reality includes living in a cottage on the beach and making necklaces out of seashells for a living, then that's wonderful too. One is not better than the other. You are worthy of every desire in your heart, and nobody's reality should affect your own.
You must also know that the universe is more abundant than you can imagine. Again, if you've read my previous books, you know I am a huge believer in the law of attraction, and I am big into energy. You must envision your world through the eyes of positivity and possibility. The moment you do that, you open up a world of endless abundance. If you're giving negative energy or thoughts to your desires, all you're doing is preventing them from coming into your life. That champagne glass better be half full, girlfriend. And there better be Dom Perignon in your glass. Got it?
When I made the decision to leave my full-time corporate career at MTV to run The Champagne Diet brand full-time, I spent a lot of time meditating on the idea of limitless luxe. In fact, I made it a daily practice to wake...
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