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Teri LaFlesh spent much of her life fighting with her short, crunchy hair, once even accidentally dissolving it with a relaxer. Through nearly thirty years of trial, error, and research, she figured out what her hair needed all along. Finally understood, her natural curls now reach well past her waist. Not wanting anyone else to go through what she did with her hair, she created the popular Web site TightlyCurly.com.

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"Curly Like Me made me laugh, with and at my hair. It allowed me to secretly cry over a childhood spent wondering, 'why won't my curls behave, or my hair wave in the wind.' Today I embrace my texture, the unique perk of being biracial, and live for 'natural is the only way to go.' Thank you, Teri, for your book, which every girl of color with curly hair who has spent years with hot combs, chemicals, and frizz, should read."
--Rain Pryor, author of Jokes My Father Never Taught Me: Life, Love, and Loss with Richard Pryor and winner of the NAACP Theatre Award
 
"Curly Like Me is down-to-earth, fun to read, and chock-full of useful information for curly girls everywhere. Kudos to Teri LaFlesh for showing the world that curly hair can be a blessing, not a burden."
--Lori Tharps, author of Kinky Gazpacho and coauthor of Hair Story
 
"A great hair guide for coily heads that is easy to read, fun, relatable, understandable, and full of tips and advice that will make living with humid-sensitive hair enjoyable."
--Mireille Liong-A-Kong, founder of Going-Natural.com and author of Going Natural: How to Fall in Love with Nappy Hair
 
"You'll read this excellent how-to guide to get Teri's envious beautiful curls, but you'll love this book because you'll have Teri's gentle and endearing voice in your ear for a journey to acceptance of your curly-haired self!"
--Heidi W. Durrow, author of The Girl Who Fell from the Sky and co-host of Mixed Chicks Chat
 
Very curly hair isn't like any other type of hair--and it requires totally different care.
 
Curly Like Me is the off-the-grid, do-it-yourself owner's manual for tightly curly hair. Discover the techniques you need to celebrate your curly hair--not fight against it. In this book, you will learn not only how to care for your curls but to cherish them, while saving you time, effort, and money.
* How to wear your curls in your own natural curl pattern
* The best products, tools, and ingredients for curly hair
* How to understand your hair--a guide to curly hair structure and behavior
* More than 250 photos and illustrations
* A special chapter on pain-free curly hair care for kids
 
Let Curly Like Me empower you to take charge of your hair so you can embrace your beautiful curls and set them free.

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Curly Like Me

John Wiley & Sons

Chapter One

I used to think my hair was possessed. When I tried to comb or brush it, it turned into a frizzled netting. I used to feel like something was wrong with me because of my hair. Once I learned how to care for it, however, it became a cherished friend. I've found that with only a few simple changes in care, those same curls that once seemed possessed are now a feature I'm proud to have and are a joy to grow.

I arrived at this hard-won truth through years of fighting my hair and hating it, until I finally learned to love it as it is. By struggling against my natural hair, I turned what could have been sweet-natured curls into a broken beast. I wish I had known these things when I was younger; my teenage years would not have been so burningly awkward.

I wrote this book because I understand what it's like to go for years without knowing what to do with your hair and with little information available for guidance. I wanted others with very curly hair like mine to benefit from everything I learned during three decades of floundering. By reading this book, you won't have to struggle for answers anymore. Curly Like Me will serve as your "one-stop shopping" resource for very curly hair, where you can find information on your hair structure; what causes damage and how to prevent it; how to care for your curls; the best products, tools, and ingredients to use; and what happens when you use chemicals. I also include ideas for hairstyles that enhance your curls. This advice is streamlined and simple, because I want to show you how even the most uncoordinated person (such as myself) can easily enjoy her curls without employing an army of stylists. This book will tell you not only how to manage your curls, but also how to actually make them happy.

No prior experience is assumed, so a person who has never combed a curl in her life will be taught how to groom a head full of curls. This book is meant for people like me, who are not hairdressers and who don't have the time or energy to style their hair in elaborate, labor-intensive styles. Curly Like Me empowers you to take back the care of your own hair. It gives you the secrets to growing very long natural hair without feeling you must use costly treatments, products, or stylists.

The way to grow very long hair is simple: eliminate all sources of damage, and your hair will grow to its maximum length. The challenge, however, is that almost every conventional technique of caring for curly hair like ours causes damage. This book explains, step by step, how to care for your hair with almost zero damage. I do not promote trends, fads, or gimmicks. Even if some of what I say doesn't happen to be the most popular belief at the time, these techniques are the ones that work. I approach understanding your curls from many angles. First, I describe the highlights of my journey in learning how to take care of my hair. By repeatedly mangling my hair and after suffering through countless unfortunate hairstyles, I learned what didn't work for my curls. I also realized that by eliminating every product and procedure that would damage my hair, there was nothing to stop it from growing beautifully.

Next, Curly Like Me includes basic facts on the structure of hair and the bonds that hold the components of each individual hair together. Some of this information gets pretty technical, but it helps explain why your hair acts the way it does and what holds it together. This way, you'll learn what hurts your hair and how to avoid damaging it.

I'll describe each stage of caring for your hair, from washing and conditioning to combing extremely curly hair and to explaining how to grow it to its maximum length. I'll discuss which products work with your curls to make them much easier to groom. This will save you money you would spend on redundant products, as well as on those that don't work, and time you would waste on searching for magic products that don't exist. Although there are no miracle cures, and no product will substitute for good hair care and eliminating damage, you'll learn to use everyday products in unexpected ways to achieve amazing results. I'll tell you what ingredients to look for and to avoid and will give you product recommendations.

I'll also talk about what really happens when we apply chemicals to our hair. That section thoroughly explains the chemical bonds in our hair; it is at this molecular level where all the reactions take place when we permanently alter our curls. You don't have to read these chapters in order to use the techniques I'll teach you, though. This is a reference book on all aspects of tightly coiled hair, so feel free at first to skip around and use whatever chapters are helpful to you. Maybe after you find answers to your basic care questions, you'll become curious about the deeper structures within your curls.

I included photographs of hairstyles you can use to showcase your spiraling curls. These styles can be created quickly and easily, and you'll find instructions and illustrations for how to proceed. Most of these styles took only a few minutes each to achieve. There was no stylist standing by to make sure every strand was in place. I didn't use gel, hairspray, or styling tools of any sort (except my hands). I created each style myself, glanced in the mirror once when I was finished, sometimes made an adjustment or two, and took the picture with a timer.

Your curls might be a bit tighter or looser than mine, but the tips in this book will work if your hair is truly curly. Although you might need to modify my advice to suit your own unique curls, these ideas are a great starting point to help you understand how to work with your hair. None of these techniques will damage any type of hair but, rather, will help you enhance your curls rather than squish them down, hide them, alter them, or hurt them. Knowing how to care for your hair is much like opening a combination lock. Not only do you need to know all of the numbers and in what order they appear; you also need to be aware of which number to spin twice. Growing long, healthy curls is a similar process. You need to know all the techniques to grow your hair long and also figure out how they fit together. The lock won't open if you don't know which number has to go around twice, and growing healthy hair is much the same. You could be doing everything else right, but if you're still damaging your hair with one aspect of your regimen, it won't grow.

My Hair History

I learned the hard way how to take care of my hair. Every useful technique I discovered was despite my own thick-headedness. Apparently, I'm one of those people who must try what doesn't work before she can find what does. I threw myself into each new attempt to change my hair and ended up with even worse hair damage than before I'd started. Only after I had tried everything to change what I was born with and had seen it fail did I finally stop running from my curls. I decided to face them, accept what I had, and make peace with them, and that was when everything changed. Following are the highlights of my journey.

Ever since I can remember, I wanted long mermaid hair-hair that flowed down my back, locks that I could toss dramatically over my shoulders. When I was a child, I stared...