Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

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9780440508380: Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

"Birthdays may be difficult for me."

"I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family."

"When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me."

"I am afraid you will abandon me."

The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame.

With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the twenty complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love--that he must grieve his loss now if he is to receive love fully in the future--that she needs honest information about her birth family no matter how painful the details may be--and that although he may choose to search for his birth family, he will always rely on you to be his parents.

Filled with powerful insights from children, parents, and experts in the field, plus practical strategies and case histories that will ring true for every adoptive family, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew is an invaluable guide to the complex emotions that take up residence within the heart of the adopted child--and within the adoptive home.

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From the Author:

This book was penned after suffering a clinical depression. In therapy, I wound words around the adoption-related feelings that up until then seemed so vague. It still amazes me that this book has been so useful to others--but I am also thrilled beyond belief. It helps adoptive parents see adoption through the eyes of their children...and it is pure validation for many adoptees when it comes to validating their life experiences.I never set out to be an author! Never finished even reading a book during high school. Twenty Things is foundational to all my other writings. It brings in the reality of adoptee loss and trauma when the birth mother separates from the child. Even in open adoptions, the child still loses the birth parents in the parenting role.Upon reflecting back since this book was first published, I've discovered:

  • Emotional and relational issues are basically the same for adoptees, no matter our age
  • Open adoption is not the panacea...adoptees still experience loss and must grieve to get well and whole.
  • The time of adoption doesn't matter--whether we are from closed, semi-open, or open adoptions, the repercussions are very similar.
  • The loss inherent in adoption is like a rite of passage adoptees must pass through. We're not meant to live in grief and loss, but to emerge as free and healthy, responsible for the choices, emotions, and beliefs to which we adhere.

About the Author:

Sherrie Eldridge has gone from nameless to shameless, from being named Baby X by hospital workers after birth to being named a Congressional Angel in Adoption by an Indiana Congressman in 2010.
A twice-reunited adoptee, Eldridge is a straight-shooting, transparent, and compassionate author, speaker, and trainer in the field of adoption. Her books are research-based, yet woven within are poignant messages pounded out on the anvil of her own adoptee heart. This is what makes Eldridge unique!
Because her books hit core needs, readers review her work with anger or thanks. She takes this in stride, knowing many critics return with thanks. One adoptive parent said she had a beautiful heart because she had the courage to tell him what his daughter might experience.
Her first book, Twenty Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed, is required reading by many adoption agencies and universities. She has also authored five other books. Sherrie helps readers and listeners to understand the adopted child's perspective on adoption and how to deepen connections between parent and child.
Sherrie has been married to Bob Eldridge for 48 years. They have 2 married daughters and six grandchildren, one who joined their family through adoption. For more information: SherrieEldridge.com

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Eldridge, Sherrie:
Verlag: Delta, (1999)
ISBN 10: 044050838X ISBN 13: 9780440508380
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Buchbeschreibung Delta, 1999. Taschenbuch. Buchzustand: Gut. 240 Seiten 3655D Sprache: Englisch Gewicht in Gramm: 204. Artikel-Nr. 40967

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