This action-packed, adventure from the author of The Whizz Pop Chocolate Shop is a magically good time!
Tom is in shock. He's just discovered that his dad is an escaped fairy on the run. And that he must trust his life to three dangerous fairy godmothers he's never met. Two of them are hardened criminals, and one falls out of the window when she tries to fly . . .
Will their mad magic be enough to help Tom rescue his dad from the clutches of some killer fairies?
Praise for Magicalamity
★ “[Children] will love this action-packed adventure, brimming with sly humor and clever asides….This book should fly off the shelves, with or without a magic carpet.”—SLJ, Starred Review
“A quick, magical romp.”—The Bulletin
“Saunders weaves a tight tale with a satisfying conclusion.” —Booklist
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KATE SAUNDERS has written lots of books for adults and children. She lives in London with her son and her three cats.
1
Demisprite
On the morning everything changed, Tom Harding opened his eyes to find his old white cat sitting on his duvet.
“Hi, Elvis,” he said blearily. “How did you get in?” He could have sworn he had shut his bedroom door last night. He sat up in bed with a loud yawn--he had slept very deeply, and his head felt foggy. His bedroom looked perfectly normal, but there was an odd silence in the house. Sunlight blazed through the curtains. Then he caught sight of his alarm clock.
Eleven-thirty? That couldn’t be right. Mum always woke him up early on weekdays, even during the -summer holidays--Tom’s parents, Jonas and Sophie Harding, owned a delicatessen and coffee shop, and he had to be up before they opened at half past eight.
The Harding family lived in a flat above the deli, and there should have been plenty of noise downstairs at this time of the morning--the coffee machine hissing, babies wailing, people talking at the tables outside on the pavement. And yet the strange silence stretched on and on, and Elvis’s green eyes stared at Tom gravely, as if he were trying to say something important.
“Mum?” Tom called. “Mum, are you there? Dad?”
No reply.
Something was wrong. Tom scrambled out of bed, quickly put on yesterday’s clothes and hurried downstairs to the deli. It was gloomy and deserted. The thick green night blinds were still drawn over the big windows, and the CLOSED sign was up in the door. He looked round at the polished wooden counters and the shelves filled with bottles and packets of fancy food. Beside the till, Dad had made a little pyramid of jars of sun-dried tomatoes, and Tom noticed that the top jar was missing. That was the only change he could put his finger on, but everything felt strange.
He dashed back upstairs to the flat. “Mum? Dad?”
“Good morning!” a voice called from the kitchen.
It was a deep, rough voice that didn’t belong to either of his parents. Cautiously, Tom looked round the kitchen door and saw a very large bottom bent over in front of the open fridge. The owner of the bottom stood up and turned round, and Tom saw that she was a tough-looking lady, with a wrinkled brown face and short gray hair, dressed in a blue jumpsuit and heavy boots.
“So you’re Tom,” she said.
“Er--hello. What’s going on? Have you seen my parents?”
“The name’s Mustard,” the tough lady said cheerfully. “Lorna Mustard. I expect your dad’s mentioned me.”
A single jar of rich red sun-dried tomatoes stood on the draining board. Lorna Mustard picked it up carefully and put it on the top shelf.
“No,” Tom said, “I’m pretty sure he’s never mentioned anyone called Mustard. Do you know where my parents have gone? Why’s the deli shut?”
“Let’s not fly into a panic,” Lorna said in her gruff voice. “Have some eggs and bacon.”
“Did they go out somewhere?”
“You could say that.”
“Why didn’t they tell me?”
“Hmm. How old are you now?”
“Eleven,” Tom said. “Why didn’t they say anything?”
“There wasn’t time--your dad just managed to summon me. Now I’m here to take care of you.”
Tom decided she must be crazy. “I don’t need a baby-sitter, thanks.”
“I’m not a babysitter,” Lorna said. “I’m your fairy godmother.”
“Sorry?” He wondered if he should call the police, or maybe an ambulance.
“Before you ask any more questions, you’d better see this.” Lorna snapped her fingers at the small television on the kitchen counter. The screen flickered, and a face appeared.
“Dad?” Tom gasped.
“Hi, Tom.” Dad was speaking from some dark, murky place, and he looked scared. “If you’re watching this, it means I’ve been forced into hiding. I can’t explain it all now, but I’ve been keeping a secret. A big secret. I’m very sorry, Tom--there’s no easy way to say this--but I’m a fairy.”
“WHAT?” Tom’s heart was thudding uncomfortably. “Look, what’s going on?”
“I thought I could leave my fairy side behind,” the recording of Dad went on. “I thought I could open a deli in Primrose Hill and live like a normal human being. I didn’t tell you or your mother because I wanted to protect you. But they’ve found me, and now there’s a warrant out for my arrest.”
“But that’s stupid!” Tom cried. “He’s not a criminal!”
“Inside the Realm,” Dad said, “I’m wanted for illegal marriage and murder. That’s why I had to go into hiding. It’s true that my marriage to your mother isn’t legal here--but please believe this, Tom”--Tom had never seen Dad so serious--“I did not kill Milly Falconer! The charge is complete nonsense--but there’s no time to explain. Whatever you do, don’t let anyone lure you into the Realm! Not even if they kidnap Mum and hold her hostage.”
“Mum! What’s he talking about?” This was a nightmare. “Where is she?”
“She’s only a mortal,” Dad said. “I’m trusting you to protect her. Tell her I’m sorry about being a secret fairy. I hate leaving you both, but you’ll be safer if you don’t know where I am. I’ve summoned your three fairy godmothers, and they’ll tell you what to do--their names are Iris Moth, Dahlia Pease-Blossom and Lorna Mustard.” In the background there was distant shouting, and what sounded like a gunshot. Dad looked frightened. Very quickly he added, “No more time! Trust your godmothers, Tom--they’re our only hope!”
“This is some kind of trick,” Tom said faintly.
On the television, something strange and dreadful was happening to Dad. His chin melted like wax, his nose stretched into a point, his face turned black and hairy, his mouth filled with fangs, and before Tom’s horrified eyes he changed into a bat. The screen went blank.
Tom collapsed into one of the kitchen chairs.
Maybe I’m still asleep, he thought, and this is a really weird dream.
But the kitchen tap dripped, which it didn’t in dreams, and this lady with the big bum--his “fairy -godmother”--was only too solid.
“I came the minute I got the summons,” Lorna Mustard said. “I don’t know what’s happened to the other two godmothers--lazy old bags--but I know my duty.”
“Mum!” Tom sprang out of his chair. “He said they’d kidnap her! Where is she?” It was horrible to think of his pretty, laughing mother being kidnapped--maybe tied up, or blindfolded.
“Calm down, boy!” Lorna clamped a big hand on his shoulder and pushed him back. “I’m way ahead of you, and I hid your mother the minute I got here.”
Tom breathed a little easier. Lorna had a very confident way of talking, and Dad had told him to trust her. For some reason--though she was a total stranger and hardly seemed normal--he did. “Is she OK? When can I see her?”
“I’m afraid you can’t see her just yet, because it might put her in danger. But please don’t be anxious about her.” For the first time Lorna’s craggy old face was kind. “She’s absolutely fine, and I give you my solemn word that I’m guarding her with my life. Now you’d better have some bacon and eggs--you look shocked.”
“I am shocked.”
“Did you really not...
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